Greeting cards that you will never see.

GalacticaActual

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Greeting cards are getting expensive, so why not design your very own Hallmark Moment with some of these sayings:

"I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love.
After having met you, I've changed my mind."

"I must admit, you brought religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell till I met you."

"Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder:
What the heck was I thinking?"

"If I get only one thing for Christmas, I hope it's your sister."

"As you grow older, Mum, I think of all the gifts you've given me.
Like the need for therapy..."

"Thanks for being a part of my life! I never new what evil was before this!"

"Money is tight, times are hard, here's your @#$/& Christmas card!!!"

"Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go, I would like you to take this knife out of my back. You'll probably need it again."

"Sorry things didn't work out, but I can't handle guys with breasts that are bigger than mine."

"When we were together, you always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise."

"The holidays are a great time to be with family. Of course, your family won't be with you, since I'm taking the kids and moving in with my sister, you cheating bastard!"
 
on a valentines card :-
Roses are red
Violets are funky
I'm thinking of you
whilst spanking my ........
 
the "Money is tight, times are hard, Heres your @#$/& christmas card" i have a card with that on. Its a home made job with the funiest song inside it. If anyone would like it PM me with your e-mail address and i will scan it and send it to you. It is so damn funny
 
I'm afraid I cannot repeat the full punchline to the best ever Christmas card I've seen as I don't fancy a long term ban...

The front of the card had a traditional Christmassy scene and in big pink letters the caption, "Happy Christmas, Jesus loves you..."

Open up the card and inside reads, "Everyone else thinks you're a C:censored: !!"

How I cried with laughter when I saw the recipient receive the card from his trusty workforce. :rotfl: :D :thumbsup:

S.
 

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