1. Join Now

    AVForums.com uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Golf Expressions

Discussion in 'Sport' started by Henry, Oct 27, 2005.

Tags:
  1. Henry

    Henry
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2000
    Messages:
    2,162
    Products Owned:
    0
    Products Wanted:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    51
    Location:
    Hull
    Ratings:
    +52
    a Brother in Law - not quite what I had in mind

    An Eva Braun - Picked up in the Bunker

    An Osama Bin Laden - You know exactly where it is but can't find it

    A Sally Gunnell - Dead ugly but a lovely runner
    An Arthur Scargill - a great strike but a poor result

    A Russell Grant - a fat iron

    A Peter Mandelson - an unbelievable iron

    A Kate Winslett - a bit fat but otherwise perfect

    A Rodney King - over-clubbed

    An O.J.Simpson - got away with it

    A Condom - safe but didn't feel real good

    Putting:

    A Dennis Wise - a nasty 5 footer

    A Salman Rushdie - an impossible read

    A Rock Hudson - thought it was straight, but it wasn't

     
  2. smelly

    smelly
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2004
    Messages:
    1,598
    Products Owned:
    0
    Products Wanted:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    66
    Location:
    Bristol
    Ratings:
    +102
    According to my mate you forgot these two:

    T*t licker - opens up the hole nicely

    Sister in law - you're up there but you know you shouldn't be!!

    :D
     
  3. Henry

    Henry
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2000
    Messages:
    2,162
    Products Owned:
    0
    Products Wanted:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    51
    Location:
    Hull
    Ratings:
    +52
    Like 'em. Keep them coming. Any more to help me be the funniest man on the golf course!!!
     
  4. huwg

    huwg
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2003
    Messages:
    1,850
    Products Owned:
    0
    Products Wanted:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    66
    Ratings:
    +121
    coming at it from another angle, here's a golfing expression I use in day to day life :-

    'a pitching wedge' = "good from 100 yards"; someone who looks good at a distance, but is a bit of a minger when you get closer.

    eg : "she's a pitching wedge"
     
  5. Kazuya Mishima

    Kazuya Mishima
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2002
    Messages:
    1,416
    Products Owned:
    0
    Products Wanted:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    51
    Location:
    North East Scotland
    Ratings:
    +65
    When my mate hits one into the air, skying it, he calls it an "angel-raper" ! :eek: :rotfl:
     
  6. dc007

    dc007
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2000
    Messages:
    1,091
    Products Owned:
    0
    Products Wanted:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    London, U.K.
    Ratings:
    +47
    Blondie - fair crack down the middle

    Mrs Patel - Ugly, but efficient.

    Michael Jackson - Gradually fading.

    Putting :

    Brazilian - Shaved the hole.

    Bon Jovi - Half way there.

    Tanni Grey-Thompson - Just hasn't got the legs.
     
  7. Henry

    Henry
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2000
    Messages:
    2,162
    Products Owned:
    0
    Products Wanted:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    51
    Location:
    Hull
    Ratings:
    +52
    :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: Excellent. Any more guys?
     
  8. booyaka

    booyaka
    Distinguished Member

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2002
    Messages:
    9,350
    Products Owned:
    0
    Products Wanted:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    166
    Location:
    Prestwick
    Ratings:
    +2,023
    Similar to a previous one -

    It's shagging your sister - it's up there but your not proud of it!! - Bad hit but goes a long way

    Or

    A Worm raper - Thinned along the ground for miles

    :hiya:
     
  9. domtheone

    domtheone
    Distinguished Member

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2004
    Messages:
    13,502
    Products Owned:
    0
    Products Wanted:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    166
    Location:
    Nottingham
    Ratings:
    +2,278
    LMAO :D

    Classics. Will have to try some of these when i'm next out on the course :D

    ROTFLMAO @ Tanni Grey Thompson :rotfl: :rotfl:
     
  10. dc007

    dc007
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2000
    Messages:
    1,091
    Products Owned:
    0
    Products Wanted:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    London, U.K.
    Ratings:
    +47
    I doubt anyone would believe me, but I did just make that one up !
     
  11. ufitsy

    ufitsy
    Well-known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2004
    Messages:
    3,159
    Products Owned:
    0
    Products Wanted:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Location:
    Midlands
    Ratings:
    +327
    :clap: very, very funny - thanks :thumbsup:
     
  12. smelly

    smelly
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2004
    Messages:
    1,598
    Products Owned:
    0
    Products Wanted:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    66
    Location:
    Bristol
    Ratings:
    +102
    The guys round here know it as a Douglas Bader.......
     
  13. Lex

    Lex
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2002
    Messages:
    4,089
    Products Owned:
    0
    Products Wanted:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    61
    Location:
    Cornwall
    Ratings:
    +4
    How about an exploding golf ball ;)
     
  14. Henry

    Henry
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2000
    Messages:
    2,162
    Products Owned:
    0
    Products Wanted:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    51
    Location:
    Hull
    Ratings:
    +52
    Got one and tried it. They are so obviously not a proper golf ball it was spotted instantly! :D
     

Share This Page

Loading...