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Getting the girl

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GuitarGuy

Well-known Member
As in the subject, need some advice here, I've known this girl for about 2 n a half years, only been close for 6 months, over the last few weeks I started to realise I actually really like her..... Dum Dum duhhh *que horror movie sounds*...... Classic case ehh? I never really saw her as anything more than a friend but as I got to know her her personality kinda took me like a Trojan horse, from the heart. Either way I know I'm not quite in the friend zone just yet so there is chance, she's comfortable with me which always helps. We were down the pub the other night with a mutual mate, despite two empty seats next to us she came and sat on my lap, she went over to the jukebox while we were playing pool, she looked at me and smiled when I hugged her from behind with my hands in her front pockets.... Idk I really don't wanna go for the awkward "I like you..." what's the best way to go about it guys and gals?
 

Dave_The_Villa

Novice Member
Ask her if she would like to go out on a date, it sounds like she likes you and if you ask her out you'll have avoided the friend zone. Seize the day my friend
 

GuitarGuy

Well-known Member
Dave_The_Villa said:
Ask her if she would like to go out on a date, it sounds like she likes you and if you ask her out you'll have avoided the friend zone. Seize the day my friend
You really think? Just got a bad experience with the whole I think I like you direct route. It's failed many times for me in the past.
 

Dave

Distinguished Member
You really think? Just got a bad experience with the whole I think I like you direct route. It's failed many times for me in the past.
Nothing ventured and all that, life's too short. The worse thing that can happen is things would be weird for a while.

Go for it, tell her you like her.
 

GuitarGuy

Well-known Member
Hmm, been thinking through ways to do it, one way which seemed good was to just kiss her then say it... Idk, too forward?
 

iamtheetube

Distinguished Member
We were down the pub the other night with a mutual mate, despite two empty seats next to us she came and sat on my lap, she went over to the jukebox while we were playing pool, she looked at me and smiled when I hugged her from behind with my hands in her front pockets....
And you never made your move at this point? She may as well have had a sign on her head saying "Come get me!"

Seriously though. I'd mention this incident to her and ask her if there was anything in it and before she answers tell her you only ask as you were hoping there was...

something like that. The signs look good to me though:smashin:
 

GuitarGuy

Well-known Member
The only reason I didn't do it then was cuz our mutual friend was there and I didn't wanna put her on the spot, she's easily embarrassed around most people but strangely (I'm not complaining ;)) comfortable around me. I guess there was an element of chicken there too tbf. And trust me she knows I'm not gay haha!
 

Marc

Well-known Member
well you've still got 2 days left to buy her a nice romantic Christmas present, how could she turn you down then?
 

GuitarGuy

Well-known Member
Marc said:
well you've still got 2 days left to buy her a nice romantic Christmas present, how could she turn you down then?
Isn't that a whole mine field in itself?
 

Marc

Well-known Member
nah, just think of something that will mean a lot to her and she'll really appreciate you for getting it.
 

GuitarGuy

Well-known Member
Marc said:
nah, just think of something that will mean a lot to her and she'll really appreciate you for getting it.
Gahhh! Easier said than done!

Edit: I know exactly what to get her! She's always super impressed when I'm playing gigs with my guitar n stuff n she's dropped hints that she wants to learn, I still keep contact with the guy I sold the first guitar I learnt on to. That guitar wasnt really special to me but she'll see it as huge sentimental value probably? Or is that 2:30 am logic lack of sleep brain talking?
 
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Coffin

Distinguished Member
You just have to tell her you like her in a non obtrusive - cheesy - weirdo - scary - surprising - unconfident way

When I was 20ish there was a italian restaurant round the corner at the bottom of my road. A small yet 'proper' authentic family run place with great food

The owners daughter, also my age, would pass my house 2-3 times a day. Presumably she lived in the opposite direction. I'd often be outside talking to friends or cleaning my car (lol, my iPhone just suggested 'axe' instead of 'car') :D

Anyway we'd say hello, smile and sometimes I'd eat at the restaurant or get take away pizza and see her in there also

The girl was stunning. Think of every classic italian associated feminine sexually powered cliche you can and it applied to this girl. Visually and physically she was a 'ten' and the little personality I got to see of her was equally good

For months I planned (read panicked) on methods to ask her out. I had some pretty dodgy ideas looking back. Eventually I settled on going in there one day I knew her to be working and asking for a new menu, with the aim being to break conversation to ultimately ask if she'd like to go out after work

I put off this 'plan' of mine for weeks. Then I stopped seeing her walk past, to then discover the restaurant had closed down. I never saw her again

Neeedless to say I was pretty gutted and felt foolish

Later that year a new girl started appearing at my local. I learned she'd moved to a village on the outskirts. My mates all fancied her (by that I mean the "I'd give er one" approach rather than romantic overtures)

One friend offered to buy her a drink one night, she declined. I thought of doing the same a bit later but backed out, the signs were hardly encouraging

The following week I saw her again, this time I was alone waiting for friends to turn up

She was with just the one friend herself (I can't deny that did help my cause) and thinking back to italian girl aforementioned, I just went for it. I walked straight up to her, introduced myself, whilst also asking her name, then saying I heard she was new to the area and asked her out on the spot

She looked stunned (terrified?! :)), her friend, who was nattering away, continued to move her mouth but someone had pressed the mute button and 'my' girl agreed to meeting the following evening

We dated for almost 2 years and over a decade later she remains one of the finest women I have been fortunate to meet

I have written far too much which could have been summarised in a handful of words; Just do it. You have little to lose with hopefully much to gain

:thumbsup:
 

MrStinky

Novice Member
The trouble is with this kind of situation the more you over think about things the more you'll notice that everything you do is actively reducing the chances of anything happening, and it gets worse the longer you think about it.

Just go for it, sooner rather than later. If what you've said here is true and you've not overanalysed things into it then chances are she wants you too. Better to jump in now whilst she's showing interest than sit there all mushy and smitten and watch her lose interest and walk away.

Oh and SHBDI.
 
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mooperman

Distinguished Member
yeah what Mr Stinky said, try not to over analyse or think about it to much, suggest going for a drink and then make a move at the end, simple, classic and it is that time of year to be stealing kisses... ;)

Personally i'd avoid the chrimbo present thing, far to early for that and it could come across as a bit stalkerish and weird, just my opinion though!!

dont worry about being rejected in the past, everyone has been rejected loads of times at the same time weve all rejected other people in the past so its perfectly normal :)
 

DIYlady

Distinguished Member
I'm assuming that you would like to remain friends even if she doesn't feel the same way as you. So I'd suggest you don't do anything to extreme as you need to allow her to say no.

Keep it simple. Don't worry about things being a bit cheesy. Just wait for a break in conversation and then say something like "I've really come to like you, would you consider coming on a date next Friday?"

She clearly likes you as a friend at least. So the worst that is likely to happen is that she is flattered, slightly embarrassed but says no. And she may well say yes!
 

Mr.D

Distinguished Member
What nonsense why do men insist on daft courtship routines and awkwardness.

Walk up to her and say ,

" I just want you to know I've been thinking about you a lot and you are amazing. Would you like to go out sometime , just the two of us?"

Enjoy sounds like you are well in , don't do childlike stuff like buying soppy presents , women like confident men not shoe shuffling little boys.
 

p9ul

Well-known Member
And you never made your move at this point? She may as well have had a sign on her head saying "Come get me!"
Just what I was thinking.

If you don't want to be so obvious as asking her out for a drink - how about asking if she's planning on going shopping in the sales, then say you fancy going somewhere a bit busier like a city centre or shopping centre and see if she fancies coming with you. There'll always be the opportunity to stop off for a spot of lunch and a drink.
 

brumhee

Distinguished Member
You really think? Just got a bad experience with the whole I think I like you direct route. It's failed many times for me in the past.
You can make it slightly indirect and just suggest going to a pub for a drink without actually mentioning the word 'date' :smashin:
 

signs

Banned
I love threads like this :thumbsup: It's like general chats very own Dear Deirdre.

Op let us know how it goes , also if you could post a pic of her we will let you know if she's worth having a crack at :D
 

GBDG1

Well-known Member
Wouldn't bother with any speeches, dates etc. Just wait until you are alone. Sit close to her, wait until there is a pause in the conversation, look her in the eye, smile and see if there is a natural moment to kiss her. If you're thinking of kissing her, then she'll be able to tell, women are intuitive like that. So you'll get a pretty clear idea of what she thinks, without making a speech where you could say any manner of embarrassing things that will come back to haunt you.

Job done, wait until after Christmas so you don't need to buy her a present. :D
 

brumhee

Distinguished Member
Wouldn't bother with any speeches, dates etc. Just wait until you are alone. Sit close to her, wait until there is a pause in the conversation, look her in the eye, smile and see if there is a natural moment to kiss her. If you're thinking of kissing her, then she'll be able to tell, women are intuitive like that. So you'll get a pretty clear idea of what she thinks, without making a speech where you could say any manner of embarrassing things that will come back to haunt you.

Job done, wait until after Christmas so you don't need to buy her a present. :D
You better not try and pull any of that in Liverpool Ed, Rob said no! :rotfl:
 

GuitarGuy

Well-known Member
the people who frequent this forum probably saw my thread about my parents not long ago, if not heres a link for anyone interested; http://www.avforums.com/forums/general-chat/1551721-dealing-parents.html

right, so i got a text this morning saying do you want to go out tomorrow night from her, (yes Christmas eve no less). I was thrilled as you could expect, so I rang up mum to ask if it was ok (we dont do christmas in the saglik household so theres no real reason not to), to get the reponse; "are you crazy?! youre not going out with all the drunks and idiots out on christmas eve"............. grrr...... was gonna plan something just that little bit romantic for NYE and got a similar reply.... this really isnt helping, hopefully she wont be working all of next week or I wont have a chance to do it this side of 2012.
 

brumhee

Distinguished Member
so I rang up mum to ask if it was ok (we dont do christmas in the saglik household so theres no real reason not to), to get the reponse; "are you crazy?! youre not going out with all the drunks and idiots out on christmas eve
Can you go out to a quiet pub in the country of something, or just ignore your mum :smashin:
 
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