Funny things the kids have said

Stuart Wright

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:laugh:
 
:laugh:

Brilliant...
 
Stuart Wright said:
...on the way through Barnt Green and I pointed it out to my son (aged 10) and said

Lmao. Is he still at the house with the lions at the entrance or has he moved?
 
Absolute genius! :rotfl: I'm awaiting the episode where the Doctor knocks on peoples doors, asking if they want a driveway tarmacced! :laugh:
 
I thought the thread title sounded like the first line of a joke...Kids!
 
Lmao. Is he still at the house with the lions at the entrance or has he moved?

He's still there. His house has been on the market for years.
6 bedroom detached house for sale in Mearse Lane, Barnt Green, B45, B45
He's dropped it by £100k.

The school runs are a source of some great quotes.

Today my daughter pipes up out of the blue...
Dad what are paedophiles?
...pause while we consider what to say...
and what are countryphiles?
 
My four year old today pretending to be a witch.. "Hubble bubble, toilet trouble"...
 
shodan said:
My four year old today pretending to be a witch.. "Hubble bubble, toilet trouble"...

Best yet. :D
 
Last week my son came out of the toilets telling me "Don't go in there, it's tosskit".
It's what?
TOSS KIT !

He meant "toxic" and just because he did a no2 :)

Also his dad bumped him while walking past him, so he said sorry, for our son to reply sternly "You should be!"
 
Hahah :p my parents told me that I used to call 'Kentucky(?) Fried Chicken' KFC,
'Frucky Tie Chicken' because I didn't know how to pronounce it, or what Kentucky was :p
 
Yesteday morning:

Me: "[Name of Son], will you move this coat off the stairs so I can come down?"

Son: "You managed to get upstairs okay and the coat was there then."

The boy is five and already renders me speechless.
 
Oh dear, I can imagine that's what's coming for us!

Yesterday I asked our son what he learnt at school that day and he answered "I can't remember, my think is not up yet" :)
 
Well I used to call spaghetti pasketi.

My younger brother used to call Lee Evans elevens. (for clarification he wasn't watching it but my mum has a signed poster on the wall!)
 
My little sister used to ask for 'wee wee' when she wanted something to drink. Not sure why!

Thankfully she soon started calling it Mink before managing to pronounce the word drink!
 
Not just kids. My wife comes out with some belters. Best yet is this

Driving on Motorway.

She says "What's all those blokes doing with metal detectors"

"You mean the ones strimming the banking" i replied
 
My daughter said recently, "That's not Santa, he's got a fag in his mouth"
 
My four year olds Nativity play today. (I'm so proud, he was definately the best snow flake there) and he was singing the "Goodby Song"..

Goodbye, farewell, To the loo..... I'm pretty sure it was meant to be Toodleloo
 
Today I aske dmy son if he knows how many days are left before Christmas.
Then he asks me: "What's after Christmas?"
Me: "After Christmas is Boxing Day"
My son: "Daddy does boxing on that day??"
 
My daughter 2 yr old who wanted to play wish me when I needed to use the bathroom,

'Daddy I do not want you to poop never ever.....'

or

When I returned from work and said 'okay who missed daddy?....'
has the reply from her '..... not anyone'
 
My 3yr old while going through toilet training couldn't go unless you were holding her hand, and on some occasions when she was struggling to "force one out" needed to have her arms round your neck as if giving a cuddle.

So, on one of these occasions, while reluctantly cuddling a 2 yr old sitting on the toilet I kept asking if she'd finished to which she repeatedly answered "not yet daddy" when she started giving me a running commentary...

"it's coming, daddy.... it's coming....

...I can hear it, daddy... I can hear it...

...it's coming out of my bum, daddy! it's coming out of my bum!

I CAN HEAR IT COMING OUT OF MY BUM DADDY!! I CAN HEAR IT COMING OUT OF MY BUM!!!!"
 
:laugh:
 
my lad used to watch dora the explorer - for anyone who doesn't know, being an american programme they usually try to include a bit of spanish for the kids to learn, whenever dora has some fruit she'll tend to say "mmm, delicioso!"

only my son thinks she says "mmm dirty arseholes!"
 
One that comes up every so often is that my son on some words tends to pronounce L as R.

It becomes interesting when my son tells us he was 'clapping' ;)
 

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