Funny things the kids have said


Distinguished Member
My Oxbridge hopes are fading. At the dinner table today we were taking about salads - the topic of croutons came up. "What are they?" asks daughter three - "I know what they are, we've studied them in physics" replies daughter one.


Distinguished Member
OK, slight bit of toddler kind of swearing so listen at your peril :rotfl:

Shortly after starting this conversation, I started to record a video for obvious reasons. This is the audio from the video.

Long story can hear what she's saying but it's not what you think. After trying to figure it out for a long time, it turns out nanny was talking at lunch about her long fingers and how she'd make a good "pianist" :D


Presuming Ed

Well-known Member
This one was told to me second or third hand.

School drop off, playground on world book day. Child dressed as a cat.

'Ooh that's a lovely cat outfit', says a parent. 'Are you a cat from a specific book?'

Child: 'Yes. It's from a book. It's called The Owl and the ... err ... forgot'.


Distinguished Member
A friend and her 3yo

"Can everyone go outside yet mummy?"
"Is it still because of the corona pirates?"


Distinguished Member
Not so much say but do. Our school hasn't re-opened the kitchen yet so everyone is on packed lunches. My 11yo makes herself a bagel each day - usually a cinnamon and raisin bagel, which she adds filling to. One day I curiously ask her what she puts into the bagel. She says it doesn't seem cinnamon-y or raisin-y enough, so after buttering it she puts in a load of raisins, then tips in a load of cinnamon from the spice rack. So a cinnamon and raisin, cinnamon and raisin bagel.
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Distinguished Member
Thought we'd spice up rock paper scissors by adding lizard Spock. That wasn't enough for her, she's added water fire too.
So rock paper scissors lizard Spock water fire.
She's not even 5 yet, silly child :confused:


Distinguished Member
Recently retired, my Wife was an Infant School Assistant Headteacher. The school’s cohort was mostly of Pakistani descent.

’Enterprise Week’ was the Year 2 curriculum theme on one occasion. During one of the sessions, the class Teacher asked if anyone knew what ‘profit’ meant? One pupil instantly responded: “It’s a Man dressed in a White Suit”. Most of the class nodded in agreement.

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