Funny things the kids have said

imightbewrong

Distinguished Member
Doing Park Run with the 6yo - she starts slowing.
"Are you okay?" I say
"No - I've got a shoulder stitch!"
 

TylerDurden

Well-known Member
I was playing Halo on the weekend when my 6 year old daughter came into the room and started watching, I explained to her that the aliens were the baddies and that I was saving planet earth. (I had considered turning it off but figured it was ok as the violence isn't gratuitous or nasty). At one point she asked me would it be good to kill a child alien as it wouldn't grow up to be an adult and get me (I reckoned she was talking about the smaller grunt aliens in the game). I told her that it would be bad to kill a child alien as its Mummy and Daddy would be very sad. At this point she said "That's OK as you've probably already killed its Mum and Dad" I had no comeback to this and turned the game off. :eek:
 

xar

Well-known Member
I was playing Halo on the weekend when my 6 year old daughter came into the room and started watching, I explained to her that the aliens were the baddies and that I was saving planet earth. (I had considered turning it off but figured it was ok as the violence isn't gratuitous or nasty). At one point she asked me would it be good to kill a child alien as it wouldn't grow up to be an adult and get me (I reckoned she was talking about the smaller grunt aliens in the game). I told her that it would be bad to kill a child alien as its Mummy and Daddy would be very sad. At this point she said "That's OK as you've probably already killed its Mum and Dad" I had no comeback to this and turned the game off. :eek:
I had a similar scenario recently with my 4 year old boy (not going to share as although it was totally innocent it would still be too controversial to write down and have recorded anywhere!).

However, after the initial shock my first (internal) reaction was 'ermmm, that's an advanced parenting query, you better ask your mum...!'
 

imightbewrong

Distinguished Member
5yo eating something, 7yo asks what it tastes like.

Description: "There's fish stick and cucumber, and it's a bit spicy."

Food being described:
cheesy coleslaw
 

jassco

Distinguished Member
I asked our 3 year old, 'am I the best daddy in the world?'

'no, just in the house'
 

KyleS1

Distinguished Member
Mine told me that I am her best daddy. I don't how many others she has... :eek:
 
We watched Justice League last week, once the movie was finished I visited the toilet, after a few minutes, Harry with his best gruff Batman voice said through the door

"IS IT THE BEST POO YOU'VE EVER HAD"

I totally lost it :D
 

sergiup

Distinguished Member
We'd just had lunch, and Leila was leaning on her mum (on the sofa), chilling. She fretted a bit, then got up came over and said "you're better, daddy" and decided to lie down on me instead :rotfl:

Wait, I think she means I'm better padded, as in fatter... Hm.
 
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shodan

Member
My boy has been a real sweetie lately and so I gave him a hug and told him he was my favourite boy. His 8 year old younger sister stuck her head round the door and smugly said "Practice Child" and strutted off like a boss!!!
 

imightbewrong

Distinguished Member
Reading 5yo a story - someone gets a wish - I ask her what she would wish for

<contemplation>
We haven't got any pets so I would wish for a pet. A cute pet. I would wish for a really cute kitten.
<short period of further contemplation>
and a laptop.
 

MrNismo

Active Member
When my son was 5 he came home from school.
"Daddy.......we learn about bones today.......and the teacher told me off :("
Why son?
"She said the smallest bone in the body is in your ear NOT in my willy!"
 

shodan

Member
My daughter WhatsApp me from upstairs asking if she can have a shower, and not enjoying my Daddy Joke....
 

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sergiup

Distinguished Member
Spent a bit of time teaching names, which she grasped We've also been making it clear that mummy and her are pretty, yet daddy is handsome.
Cue early morning conversation at nursery when another girl was asking about her mummy's name. She replied (correctly), so I asked "and what's my name?" "umm.. Handsome!"
And they say that toddlers don't really know what they're doing..!
 

Desmo

Distinguished Member
3 year old farts whilst sitting on my lap and then announces..."I've done a Donald" :laugh:
That's my girl :D
 

shodan

Member
So I had a bit of a moment today....
Kids were sitting down in the living room having lunch and so I had a captive audience.
Long story short, YouTube on the TV and I put it on Robbie Williams - Swing When You're Winning concert. After a couple of minutes of my 12 year old looking like someone had sh*t in his mouth, I went to the last song - My Way, which Robbie does with great gusto.
And so did I, holding the TV remote for a microphone, I belted it out, I absolutely smashed it! As the audience roared, I felt their love and adoration for me.. And in the quiet that followed my earth shattering, spine tingling crescendo, my 9 year old said "Oh Daddy, you aren't built for singing are you"....
 

imightbewrong

Distinguished Member
A four year old has not eaten their jelly - a worrying occurrence.

"Why haven't you finished your jelly?"
<cross face>"Because it's got food in it!"

Yep - it was one of those ones with bits of fruit in.
 
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Desmo

Distinguished Member
Kids are just mental. Our three year old will try to pick out a slightly brown Rice Krispie because she thinks it's dirty yet will happily pick up any old thing off the floor and eat it.
 

Desmo

Distinguished Member
I've no idea, because we're not funny or fussy about food at all. A bit of dirt never hurt anyone.
 

shodan

Member
I've no idea, because we're not funny or fussy about food at all. A bit of dirt never hurt anyone.
My dog is fussy about his dinner, but he'll eat 3 day old roadkill if given half a chance....
My kids wont even try roadkill.....
 

navarro67

Active Member
Saw this thread and thought I'd add one from my (almost) 3yo the other day;
I'd just washed her, drying her off, she points to her nipple, says 'what's that?'
That's your nipple
'can you kiss it for me daddy?'
:eek: Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Wha.. Why?
She then explains in toddler speak that she's been punched on the nipple by *the incredible hulk* and kissing better required :rotfl:

I did not kiss her on the nipple
 

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