Whats this Final Fantasy X all about, then? Knowing little about the game other than what I have read in these threads, I fork out forty tabs and load it up in anticipation Cue long intro, which is fine gives me time to swot up on the literature. Finally, the chance to start a new game. Having selected this, my brow furrows as we seem to be returning to the intro. Ah, patience is evidently required: finally it switches to something different, a futuristic scene with children and plinky-plonky (a scientific term) music. Cue movie scenes. I read the bumph a second time. Okay, were outside and ready to rock. Maverick, you have the ball, Im thinking. Lets try throwing some shapes here. Left joystick does what it should but none of the other buttons seems to do anything at all. A quick glance at the manual reveals that X lets me speak. I approach the crowd of kids and lay some lyrics. Will you sign my ball? Im asked. Er, no thanks. I could get arrested for that sort of thing. But I dont have any choice as the game launches into another film sequence. Time passes. It seems I need to have intercourse (literal, not paedophilic) with three groups of kids before I can move on. Then I find myself in front of a large poster. Is another film clip about to start? To my surprise I do have control so I trot off along some futuristic causeway not very challenging, although temptation gets the better of me and I chat to a couple of elderly dudes en route before the game takes over again. So, to the blitzball arena. Im back in charge and my task is to climb the stairs, avoiding autograph hunters. Im prepared to admit that I manage this with some aplomb, achieving an impregnable 5.5 seconds (Omega timing) before you guessed it Im reaching for the popcorn again. Once blitzball is out of the way and the arena has collapsed, I find myself outside. Wait, a grey map appears: Im the yellow arrow and I need to head towards the red arrow. Surely this is the moment Ive been waiting for. No. Another three seconds of control passes without any sort of workout for hands or mind. When will it all get going? Then Auron hands me a sword. Yes! Well, yes and no. Turn-based combat is fine, but my third battle involves a few swift thrusts at some creatures that are able to defy death, only to be told by Auron that I should, in fact, be aiming at some glowing, throbbing contraption off to the right (which was not an option, initially). Hmmm. [Man, this post is dragging thats how I felt last night.] I persevere. Im in some giant float tank with the helpful instruction: O: swim down. I flap around before the projectionist interrupts again. Then, a not-too-difficult swim and Im on dry land. Those narrow stone walkways look tricky but I decide to experiment: what if I jump off ? No, cant do that. Instead, the path collapses and I get to fight some giant lizard with an exposed ribcage. Theres no way I can beat this thing so I opt for the Retreat option. Hang on, thats been disabled. Before I can say my prayers, though, the film director spots an exit and has me swimming for it. I punch the Off switch and go to bed. A lot of people say this game is good. Can anyone assure me that things get better or should I be filing Final Fantasy X under P for Pants?