ALR screens that use glass beads reflect light back to the source (retro reflective) - so if you use a torch and walk around with the torch, it will reflect light back to the torch, so you won't be able to see any real drop off like would if you set the torch up in one place (like you would with a projector), and then walked around to see where it was brighter and dimmer. That's also why those screens don't work with UST projectors - most of the light is being reflected back to the projector which is on a table right in front of the screen, and not the audience. Those kinds of screens work for normal set ups because the audience is below the pj so although the reflection is going in the right direction, the audience is rarely right under the pj, so the viewers rarely get the full rated gain. They also tend to have more artefacts like a kind of 'speckle' from the glass beads Other screens with gain that are angular reflective, reflect the light away at the same angle it was received at, so still aren't ideal for USTs but are less problematic as they don't rely on glass beads, and are a bit more forgiving.
The best light meters to use are ones that are photopic as they have a similar response to the human eye. There are some cheap Robin RT24s on ebay from time to time and they are the same as the equivalent Tecpel and Extech meters - same meters just different coloured bodies. I found light meters to be more accurate and reliable than colorimeters for measuring contrast, though more modern, more expensive, more accurate meters may work better. I'd still be inclined to use a dedicated light meter though. Although this discussion is about measuring lumens, just thought I'd mention that if/when measuring contrast, make sure the meter is close enough to the projector lens that you get a god reading for black (not 0.001 as the margin of error there is huge, you want something more like 0.01 or higher in decimal places) and a good reading for white without overloading/oversaturating the meter.
Grey is just white at a lower luminance - when you calibrate a pj, you're calibrating the greyscales and each level of grey is calibrated to D65 - so each level (10%, 20%... 80%, 90%) all have the same balance of RGB. With a (calibrated) grey screen you have to let your eyes adjust to the dimmer level and not compare to the white which will affect your perception. We tend to be attracted to brighter images so if you compare you're probably not going to like the grey screen (assuming it's not so dim that the image really is dull and unappealing).