Don't Ask Friends For Favours

DrapedInDarkness

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I live in a remote area and was taking the bus into town to get to work, after a few months my friend who also works in town slipped into the conversation that he would be happy to take me into town for half what I pay for the bus.

It's a friend and a saving so of course I said yes, but what he never said was that I would have to walk ten minutes to his house every morning and he would never ever be out at the time he set, 7.50, he is always 1-3 minutes late and would not vary his routine to help me, for example the bus stop is about 3 minutes from my work and he drops me off where he works and it takes me 12 minutes to walk to work and then slightly longer to walk back at the end of the day.

He also likes to book single days off and not weeks, so every couple of weeks he will tell me that he cannot take me in, take me back, or take me at all and I have to buy a bus pass for the day.

So even though some months have actually ended up costing more than the bus actually does I never complained about it, because you know its a friend.

Anyway this week I was feeling really sick and did not go into work on Monday or Tuesday.........but I forgot to text him and tell him I would not be there and at 7.55, five minutes after he usually leaves I get a text asking where I am, I reply very apologetically and receive a single word reply......f.....ker.

I think nothing more of it and go back to my medicated state of distance and on Tuesday evening he texts me are you going to meet me tomorrow or not?

I decide to call him and apologise yet again for not letting him know and tell him that yes I will be back at work (Need the money) and arrange to meet him.

I get there nice and early like always and we go off to work, there is clearly an atmosphere in the car so I apologise again and start a conversation and everything seems good, then just before we get there he tells me he has to drop somebody else off in the other direction so he won't be able to take me back.

This morning I get up and it is absolutely peeing down, I walk to our meeting place on the road outside his house thoroughly drenched, no car......I walk up to the parking area and no car.........getting slightly worried now I send a text asking where are you?......I walk home again and by this time I look like I've been swimming, and about 4-5 minutes after getting home I get as text by reply, I left at 7.50. :eek:

I was there at 7.50 and he was not, he is supposed to be my friend and knowing that.....

A - I'm currently fighting the worst cold I've ever had
B - It's peeing down
C - That by meeting with him I miss the bus and the next bus is in two hours

He left early and left me completely screwed, he has sent me three texts since then with not one apology and sticking rigidly to his story of leaving on time and not seeing me approaching at all.

Because of him, I lost three hours pay and had to pay for a bus ticket and he has not even had the tiniest inkling that he should say sorry :(
 
sounds like a cock , but then you sound like a moaning git , if this has been going on for months why have you put up with it , sorry , i remember , you hoped to save money , i have considered car sharing for the same reasons as you , then i have forgotten about it for the same reasons you have experienced , i would rather be in charge of my own ****ings at work for being late ................
 
sounds like a cock , but then you sound like a moaning git , if this has been going on for months why have you put up with it , sorry , i remember , you hoped to save money , i have considered car sharing for the same reasons as you , then i have forgotten about it for the same reasons you have experienced , i would rather be in charge of my own ****ings at work for being late ................

Heh, I'm ill...I'm allowed to be a moaning git, I actually have decided to stick to the bus :laugh:

Was not just the saving money for why I put up with it, he is/was a friend as well. :p
 
Err, is it just me who thinks this is all very odd? Your "friend" is charging you to sit in his car on a journey he makes anyway. He's not picking you up, he's not dropping you off anywhere different so what's he charging for - extra fuel money to cover your body weight??

I wouldn't dream of asking any of my mates for money even when I go pick them up from a couple of miles away on a night out. Hell I have a mate who lives approx 18 miles away and sometimes he comes down to see me via public transport and I drop him home after cos it's usually the early hours of the morning by then and that's what mates do!

Really find it bizarre.
 
Err, is it just me who thinks this is all very odd? Your "friend" is charging you to sit in his car on a journey he makes anyway. He's not picking you up, he's not dropping you off anywhere different so what's he charging for - extra fuel money to cover your body weight??

I wouldn't dream of asking any of my mates for money even when I go pick them up from a couple of miles away on a night out. Hell I have a mate who lives approx 18 miles away and sometimes he comes down to see me via public transport and I drop him home after cos it's usually the early hours of the morning by then and that's what mates do!

Really find it bizarre.

I was about to post something very similar to this.

I would have been picking you up and dropping you off at your house.
 
Err, is it just me who thinks this is all very odd? Your "friend" is charging you to sit in his car on a journey he makes anyway. He's not picking you up, he's not dropping you off anywhere different so what's he charging for - extra fuel money to cover your body weight??

Same here.

My wife has to get a taxi to work on days that I'm coming off a night shift, but sometimes she gets a lift with her sister if she happens to be working that day. Her sister doesn't ask for money, as she's passing the end of the road anyway and they work in the same building. We're getting her an extra Christmas present and a thank you card, but if she asked for payment for the trip I'd probably tell her to sod off and would pay for the taxi instead in principle.

However my wife has been considering asking her father for a lift rather than booking a taxi and in that instance we would offer to pay. The taxi run is ÂŁ10 a time (6-7 times a month) and we were going to offer him the same amount. Might as well put money in his pocket instead of a stranger. He will probably argue and insist on doing it for free but if he does then we'll either haggle and get him to accept a lower amount, or he'll just get an anonymous gift through his letterbox every month...

Fully agree with other posters, your friend sounds like a complete ball bag.
 
Err, is it just me who thinks this is all very odd? Your "friend" is charging you to sit in his car on a journey he makes anyway. He's not picking you up, he's not dropping you off anywhere different so what's he charging for - extra fuel money to cover your body weight??

I wouldn't dream of asking any of my mates for money even when I go pick them up from a couple of miles away on a night out. Hell I have a mate who lives approx 18 miles away and sometimes he comes down to see me via public transport and I drop him home after cos it's usually the early hours of the morning by then and that's what mates do!

Really find it bizarre.

What he said.
 
He's not a friend. He's pretending to be whilst making a profit and what's more doing it on his own terms and at his own convenience. Go back to the bus and give a little thought as to why you consider him a......"friend".
 
Pass your driving test then sneak round his house one evening and pop his tyres...when he asks you for a lift tell him to do one.
 
Err, is it just me who thinks this is all very odd? Your "friend" is charging you to sit in his car on a journey he makes anyway. He's not picking you up, he's not dropping you off anywhere different so what's he charging for - extra fuel money to cover your body weight??

I think it's fair enough to ask for some contribution to the fuel. I mean that's what a 'lift share' is all about, sharing the cost.
I'd charge a fair amount though, based on the cost of fuel to get there and back, and would not be looking to rip someone off.
 
- extra fuel money to cover your body weight??

hold on, we dont know what he weighs yet?! :rolleyes:

seriously though, this.

He's not a friend. He's pretending to be whilst making a profit and what's more doing it on his own terms and at his own convenience. Go back to the bus and give a little thought as to why you consider him a......"friend".

clearly a selfish person who cares not for anyone else, wash your hands of them.
 
I think it's fair enough to ask for some contribution to the fuel. I mean that's what a 'lift share' is all about, sharing the cost.
I'd charge a fair amount though, based on the cost of fuel to get there and back, and would not be looking to rip someone off.

It's fair to some extent, it also depends a lot on the nature of the friendship and the people themselves. If the driver is doing nothing different compared to their normal routine (in terms of distance etc) then I would guess a lot of people would say that he shouldn't really be charging almost anything; if on the other hand he would be driving to pick the other guy up and also drive further to drop him off then yes of course it may be reasonable to ask for a little more.

But again, it's all down to the nature of the friendship and the people involved.
 
I think it's fair enough to ask for some contribution to the fuel. I mean that's what a 'lift share' is all about, sharing the cost.
I'd charge a fair amount though, based on the cost of fuel to get there and back, and would not be looking to rip someone off.

I'd totally agree if he were getting dropped to his door and getting collected, but as is i wouldnt. Especially the way this 'friends' attitude comes across.
 
I wouldn't dream of asking any of my mates for money even when I go pick them up from a couple of miles away on a night out. Hell I have a mate who lives approx 18 miles away and sometimes he comes down to see me via public transport and I drop him home after cos it's usually the early hours of the morning by then and that's what mates do!

When my friends and I went out regularly on a Saturday night, one of the group lived out of town and I used to drive and not drink at the time and didn't ask for anything for the 24 mile round trip to pick up and drop off (that felt like a long journey after a night cutting shapes). Isn't that what friends do.
 
When my friends and I went out regularly on a Saturday night, one of the group lived out of town and I used to drive and not drink at the time and didn't ask for anything for the 24 mile round trip to pick up and drop off (that felt like a long journey after a night cutting shapes). Isn't that what friends do.

It is, especially for social stuff, but its a bit different if its daily for an extended period, my friend used to drive me in daily and she'd refuse cash but occasionally i'd chuck her a couple of quid if we were at the pumps.

That said she'd come to mine to get me and drop me off at mine and it wasnt treated like a big deal.

I'd get back on the bus out of principle OP, this guy doesnt even sound like an acquantance, never mind friend imo.
 
Friend?

1. No he isn't. Dump him. From what you've said, he isn't even being partly friendly.
2. ASAP, find a better alternative if you can.
3. ASAP, find at least a different alternative if you can't find a better one.
4. Learn to be independent and not to be beholden to anyone.

This should motivate you to work hard, earn loads of money and buy a Lexus.
 
I'd charge a fair amount though, based on the cost of fuel to get there and back, and would not be looking to rip someone off.

If he's charging more than 1/2 the fuel cost, he's violating the terms of his insurance.
 

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