Do introverts get a hard time?

Are you introverted or extroverted?

  • I'm naturally introverted.

    Votes: 108 88.5%
  • I'm naturally extroverted.

    Votes: 14 11.5%

  • Total voters
    122

kav

Distinguished Member
It's a subject that greatly interests me because as a natural introvert I do strongly feel that society is geared towards and rewards extroverts. I have learned to adapt and can quite easily be an extrovert, but it's always a temporary thing and after periods of socialising I can quite happily spend ages on my own "recharging" to get ready for the next time.

It's not anti-social, which is often what my wife calls me when I express anything less than absolute excitement about whatever social engagement is coming up; it's simply that I find such occasions mentally exhausting and it takes a lot out of me.

Here's the full article on the subject - and because this is GC I thought I may as well add a poll. I'd be interested to see how many introverts are out there, given that we're traditionally seen in society as having less favourable personality traits.

Also, don't just vote - please comment. :)
 
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weetsie

Novice Member
I'm naturally introverted.
7 100.00%

:laugh:
 

MIghtyG

Well-known Member
I wonder why theres so many votes for introvert and so little comments? :laugh:

I feel pretty much the same as you Kav, I can psych myself up and get through a social gathering but I get tired/bored/cranky etc pretty quick and would much rather spend some time either on my own or with the misses just chilling out.

E: Although I dont follow this black/white philosophy where you are one or the other, as in all things in life I think there's shades of gray...
 

Mr.D

Distinguished Member
I'm naturally introverted but I made a decision/realisation a long time ago that acting extroverted brings massive gains in your lifestyle/career.

So making a concious effort to be act in a way in which you are percieved as being extrovert is the first step in genuinely becoming extrovert.
 

Courtjezter

Distinguished Member
It's a subject that greatly interests me because as a natural introvert I do strongly feel that society is geared towards and rewards extroverts. I have learned to adapt and can quite easily be an extrovert, but it's always a temporary thing and after periods of socialising I can quite happily spend ages on my own "recharging" to get ready for the next time.

It's not anti-social, which is often what my wife calls me when I express anything less than absolute excitement about whatever social engagement is coming up; it's simply that I find such occasions mentally exhausting and it takes a lot out of me.

Here's the full article on the subject - and because this is GC I thought I may as well add a poll. I'd be interested to see how many introverts are out there, given that we're traditionally seen in society as having less favourable personality traits.

Also, don't just vote - please comment. :)

I am similar to yourself i think. I am naturally introverted but learnt to switch on being an extrovert. I like to recharge my batteries by shutting myself away from the world and get accused of being grumpy because of it. I generally feel awkward in social settings and become very self aware so I hide behind an extrovert facade.

This then leads to some difficulty when someone tries to pierce the facade and get to know me, as i then feel i have to maintain the facade as that is what they want to see. This makes me come across as shallow and dismissive, which i am not.

My wife is the complete opposite though i believe she is an extrovert who is shy and very introverted. She seems to recharge her batteries through interaction though. Which is a great mix when i want to shut myself away.
 

Courtjezter

Distinguished Member
I bet we will mostly be introverted on this forum, as the very nature of the internet and the forum allow us to be introverted. We can do things on our terms and do not feel we have to socially interact with people. The exroverts are all stood around talking to people.
 

signs

Banned
A natural Introvert !! :laugh:

I've seen you dancing round a busy Birmingham hotel Bar at 2 in the morning in your PJ's :D:D
 

kav

Distinguished Member
20 votes to 0...who'd have thought a forum of AV geeks would produce a result like this? :D

A natural Introvert !! :laugh:

I've seen you dancing round a busy Birmingham hotel Bar at 2 in the morning in your PJ's :D:D

Took a lot out of me though, that did. I needed about a week to recover from meeting you. ;)
 

plazmoid

Novice Member
Yet another introvert here.

Always seem to be more than happy to do things by myself and find it much more relaxing.
 

kav

Distinguished Member
I'm naturally introverted but I made a decision/realisation a long time ago that acting extroverted brings massive gains in your lifestyle/career.

So making a concious effort to be act in a way in which you are percieved as being extrovert is the first step in genuinely becoming extrovert.

Fully agree, this pretty much sums me up too.
 

kav

Distinguished Member
E: Although I dont follow this black/white philosophy where you are one or the other, as in all things in life I think there's shades of gray...

I think that's true, very few of us will be purely one or the other, however I do subscribe to the notion that one or the other of the traits tends to be more dominant in each person's personality (aside from the few true "ambiverts"), which is what I based the poll on. :)
 

johntheexpat

Distinguished Member
20 votes to 0...who'd have thought a forum of AV geeks would produce a result like this? :D

The extroverts are out having fun. The introverts are sitting in front of a computer.

I'm only here 'cos I'm waiting for my lunch to warm through then I'm off out again into the sunshine to cut grass.:laugh:
 

Ruperts slippers

Distinguished Member
If i'm in the company of my partners family ,i'm very quiet,best behaviour,in fact i hardly say a word,but i make an effort for the sake of my mrs....

If i'm in the company of close friends its a different story,certainly not an extrovert,but the close group of friends is most definitely unpc and frank gallows humour,the mrs thinks it goes too far,should be an interesting wedding,when the two groups meet..:D
 

7ofnine

Well-known Member
I find it interesting that some people have commented that they can 'act' extroverted. How is this possible if you are a true introvert? I could not change my personality at will. Sometimes I feel more sociable and comfortable in social situations, but most of the time I don't. I can't make myself be more extroverted, it's just not in my nature.

And yes introverts do get a hard time. In particular I think that most extroverted people can't handle my quietness. I don't say a lot and I'm not good at banter. I get on best with people who accept my character, and don't expect me to be something else.
 

Courtjezter

Distinguished Member
I find it interesting that some people have commented that they can 'act' extroverted. How is this possible if you are a true introvert? I could not change my personality at will. Sometimes I feel more sociable and comfortable in social situations, but most of the time I don't. I can't make myself be more extroverted, it's just not in my nature.

And yes introverts do get a hard time. In particular I think that most extroverted people can't handle my quietness. I don't say a lot and I'm not good at banter. I get on best with people who accept my character, and don't expect me to be something else.

I think it states how in the article, and thats what i have based my answer on. To recharge my batteries i withdraw from things, making me introverted. An extrovert gets that same recharge from social interactions.

As i have said i learnt to act like an extrovert, as that was what was required of me especially when i was in the military.
 

KyleS1

Distinguished Member
I think I am slightly more biased towards being introverted but certainly have my extrovert side also.
I like to spend time of my own, or with my partner, but at the same time I like certain social gatherings. I like meeting up with groups of friends, but hate going to weddings and that sort of thing.
I think it depends largely on my mood, but I do find that I have make the effort to do certain things that my partner wants us to do, that I would probably rather not do.

This has changed a lot since I was younger (I'm only 30 now), but I used to always want to be at the big gatherings, with lots of people. I guess your priorities and outlook on life change as you get older.
 

nheather

Distinguished Member
I find it interesting that some people have commented that they can 'act' extroverted.

I'm very introvert and can't do small talk at all. I let my wife down quite a bit when we are invited to parties - she finds it so easy to talk to people and has a greate time but I usually have a dreadful time, find a quiet place and watch the minutes drag by on my watch - often I make an excuse not to go.

It takes me time to get comfortable with people and when I do I'm okay and those people tend to like my company.

I find that introverts have to get by on pure ability. For example at an interview, an introvert will get the job if he clearly has the proven ability to do the job. But equally he could lose out to a less qualified extrovert, he engages the intervewer with repartee, doesn't actually have so much to offer but is happy to make wild proactive claims about what he could do.

Introverts are usually more self-critical and honest. Ask an introvert and an extrovert whether they could do task A. The introvert will probably be very honest, explain the areas where he would have to learn the subject, perhaps question the realism of the timescales. The extrovert will say, sure I can do that. He will usually get the job and often it will go over schedule and over budget.

As an example of acting extrovert. A few years back I went to my company's world conference. I was jekyll and hyde there. In the mingle sessions and the evening meals I was terrible. I'd try and hang onto someone I knew and just talk to them, or go back to my room, or just generally do my best to be inconspicuous and hide. But I also have to give a presentation on Software Security to over 300 people. It was a subject I was comfortable with, I had the stage and the audience listened. When they talked it was to ask technical questions or seek my advice - all within my comfort zone. The feedback to my managers from other divisions and customers was that the presentation was great and I was a good speaker.

Cheers,

Nigel
 
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Courtjezter

Distinguished Member
I'm very introvert and can't do small talk at all.

Snap, i call it Grown up talk. I am 34 though, but i cant do it. I can talk to a group of people no problem and engage with them. This is due to the focus not being on me as a person, but someone who can make a funny comment or who can speak on a certain subject. I very rarely instigate conversations.
 

KyleS1

Distinguished Member
I'm very introvert and can't do small talk at all.

I'm happy to engage in small talk, but for me, it is mostly that I don't actually have anything to say or want to know, so struggle to think of things to talk about.

There is a woman at my work that could talk for Britain, and it's all [email protected] I have no interest in learning about her cat, or what she had for tea yesterday but she insists on telling me. Whereas if I like the person or am interested in them, I can happily talk for ages.
 

ODP

Distinguished Member
I am a bit of a socially awkward moron at times, and get a bit shy around people I do not know however I am shocked to find I am apparently the only extrovert on AVF! :laugh:
 

themediaman

Active Member
I voted introvert, but I don't mind socializing, however I find it more enjoyable being alone, or spending time with 1 or 2 other people.............

I have always enjoyed my own company, especially when watching film and so on.......

So I think I am introvert, but don't know if its just an age thing, only 28 but feel older........
 

GloopyJon

Distinguished Member
I'm naturally very introverted and have done a lot of work on myself over the years to get over that, lose my inferiority complex and overcome my innate lack of self-confidence, and have - after a long time - been fairly successful at that. I like socialising with close friends but I hate parties where I don't know anybody. I think that something I read recently is quite true, that extroverts gain energy from social interactions and introverts expend it.

One of the ways in which I have worked on myself to improve my self-confidence (&/or the appearance of confidence, two different things) is amateur theatre. I enjoy singing and I have almost always since university been involved in musical theatre. I've had a number of leading roles in amateur productions, and doing that really forces you to open up and put yourself on display, which is the opposite of what an introvert naturally does. This experience has been very helpful to me in the work environment, where so much of people's opinion of you is based on how you present yourself. It has helped me to be quite good at presentations and meetings - I'm quiet but confident, and I know how to project and overcome my natural tendency to speak very quietly, for instance.

On this topic, the Myers-Briggs personality tests and types are very interesting. For those of you who are familiar with it, I'm an INTJ - quite rare in the general populace but I suspect not so rare on AVForums! I read the description of this personality type on Wikipedia, and it's astonishingly accurate in many ways (e.g. hypersensitivity to signs of rejection).

Interesting topic, and it's good to read about other people's experiences. It's one of the ways in which one comes to realise that one is actually relatively normal, which was an important step in my process of self-analysis and work. Nowadays I realise that I am normal - not necessarily in comparison with everybody, but for a small, select group of special individuals... :D
 

KyleS1

Distinguished Member
I don't think you are either an introvert or extrovert, so the poll is a little unrealistic. As part of some company teambuilding, we did a series of tests to prove whether we were one or other, or a bit in the middle and the axis was in the shape of + where you could be put anywhere in any quadrant. I forget what the other axis measured though. So you can be less introverted/extroverted than a complete introvert/extrovert. :)
 

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