divorced at last

basserphil

Well-known Member
Just reading a post about a fella on here who feels paranoid about his wife............well, it made me remember a few things, this story is not made up and it is how it happened.

wife started to have no interest in me or us, no physical contact, affection or conversation.
she worked from home in sales and worked flexi hours.
i started to notice she was complaining about everything i did, or didnt do, i stacked the dishwasher wrong, didnt understand how depressed she was with her job etc?
strangely my works van front driver tyre kept getting slow punctures?
at 10.30 pm my legs would be throbbing and i needed to stretch a lot and felt totally exhausted?
i would get back from work and could smell tobacco in the house, i had stopped smoking 25 years ago?
her friends and people from the clubs i took my kids to started giving me funny looks and avoided talking to me?
we went on the family holiday in easter and i lost my mobile, asked if i could borrow hers, i was suspicious and went down to reception where the wifi worked , checked under her messages for a name that didnt seem right and blam, the evidence of her affair was all over the phone, stupidly i went back , calmly said "i think the kids need to know what your up to"! handed her the phone and walked out the hotel room.
after 2 days denying any wrong doing, she finally said it was just an infatuation , and it was someone i didnt know and it had only been going on a month?
after the holiday she acted like a heartbroken teenager, not getting up until 10 or 11 am at weekends, sulky and acting very weird.
to cut a very long story short, and boy is there a lot of story..........
she had been slashing my tyres with a stanley knife, dipping the blade in water and only going halfway in ( the water will not show a knife mark, the police informed me of this after 4 seperate tyres were slashed), as i did a lot of motorway driving, this was a attempt to bump me off i think?
i worked out that my tiredness and being unable to move when i woke in the middle of the night was down to the sleeping pills ( for her supposed anxiety and depression?) she was secretly putting in my bottles of beer and then handing me already opened , so she could talk to him after the kids had gone to bed at 11pm , thats why she was so lifeless in the morning.
i found this out as i paid the mobile phone bills, it told me there was massive data being used on her mobile on a friday/saturday night between 11pm-4am. this adds up as i had caught her downstairs at 2am on her phone before the holiday!!
checked her soundcloud account as its linked to mine and there was the culprit in her friends folder, he was a married man who lived near manchester, we lived in the midlands.
turns out he was a salesman who worked on her team and unknown to her a serial adulterer!
her plan was to get rid of me and move him in 3 months after she had me thrown out of the family home.
her plan failed because i......
found out what she was up to , he had no internet presence, being an adulterer he used google to remove all links to himself, so i pretended to be a customer and phoned up a supplier i thought he used, said i was in the manchester area that day and would like to know if that had any idea of his address.....they gave the town he lived in,i went to search him online in the town, got nothing as he lives with his wife in rented property, after he got her to leave her husband, get divorced and spent her money, this he was planning to do with mine i assume?
i spent £200 on a detective for his address and finally got it, x directory phone....damn, phoned up the next door neighbour who turned out to be a mobile sports masseur, i made up a cocknbull story about being his mate from work and planning a surprise party, but had lost his phone number, she got rightly suspicious and phoned his wife......who then phoned me!!!
i told her he was having an affair with my wife.....she said....oh no not again...this will be the 4th one from that company that she knew about.
i checked my google maps one day to see which job i was at on a previous month, turns out our phones were joined via google maps and a massive list of hotels came up, the list went back 2 years!!!!
working flexi hours , she was visting him during the afternoon at local hotels, or saying to me that she was at a works meeting!
contacting his wife tipped her over the edge, i was told to leave the family home as i was a bullying, abusive, threatening , violent character, she was scared for her life and phoned the police
The police arrived, i calmly told them what was happening and why i wasn't leaving, they said to her "if you phone us again about this you will be arrested".
next day she left with the kids and the day after i recieved a letter from her solicitor stating i must leave my home due to being an unreasonable character, she got a mate to back up her story, the court then removed me from my home a month later.
i spent the next 2 years in a bedsit that had no heating, just a electric shower.
she spent all the time lying about what had happened and how i was such a bad person.

She had to pay me off the mortgage, and i now happily live in a detached apartment where i am happy! I also have a new girlfriend who also had a messy divorce , and we have a lot of fun together.

I paid in excess of £10000 in legal fees, her mother paid hers, this was a complete waste of money, all she had to do was be honest and upfront with the kids and everyone we knew, but he was married, he worked in the same office and im pretty sure that their affair would not of been looked on as good business practice, so he made her do everything to keep it secret.

The real victims of this are my 2 kids , who have suffered endlessly during the whole mess and are still now, its a heartbreaking thing to slowly watch your 2 most precious people slowly disintegrate.
She is now single and lover boy has gone, the grass is always greener on the other side?
 
Last edited:

Ned Senior

Well-known Member
Just reading a post about a fella on here who feels paranoid about his wife............well, it made me remember a few things, this story is not made up and it is how it happened.

wife started to have no interest in me or us, no physical contact, affection or conversation.
she worked from home in sales and worked flexi hours.
i started to notice she was complaining about everything i did, or didnt do, i stacked the dishwasher wrong, didnt understand how depressed she was with her job etc?
strangely my works van front driver tyre kept getting slow punctures?
at 10.30 pm my legs would be throbbing and i needed to stretch a lot and felt totally exhausted?
i would get back from work and could smell tobacco in the house, i had stopped smoking 25 years ago?
her friends and people from the clubs i took my kids to started giving me funny looks and avoided talking to me?
we went on the family holiday in easter and i lost my mobile, asked if i could borrow hers, i was suspicious and went down to reception where the wifi worked , checked under her messages for a name that didnt seem right and blam, the evidence of her affair was all over the phone, stupidly i went back , calmly said "i think the kids need to know what your up to"! handed her the phone and walked out the hotel room.
after 2 days denying any wrong doing, she finally said it was just an infatuation , and it was someone i didnt know and it had only been going on a month?
after the holiday she acted like a heartbroken teenager, not getting up until 10 or 11 am at weekends, sulky and acting very weird.
to cut a very long story short, and boy is there a lot of story..........
she had been slashing my tyres with a stanley knife, dipping the blade in water and only going halfway in ( the water will not show a knife mark, the police informed me of this after 4 seperate tyres were slashed), as i did a lot of motorway driving, this was a attempt to bump me off i think?
i worked out that my tiredness and being unable to move when i woke in the middle of the night was down to the sleeping pills ( for her supposed anxiety and depression?) she was secretly putting in my bottles of beer and then handing me already opened , so she could talk to him after the kids had gone to bed at 11pm , thats why she was so lifeless in the morning.
i found this out as i paid the mobile phone bills, it told me there was massive data being used on her mobile on a friday/saturday night between 11pm-4am. this adds up as i had caught her downstairs at 2am on her phone before the holiday!!
checked her soundcloud account as its linked to mine and there was the culprit in her friends folder, he was a married man who lived near manchester, we lived in the midlands.
turns out he was a salesman who worked on her team and unknown to her a serial adulterer!
her plan was to get rid of me and move him in 3 months after she had me thrown out of the family home.
her plan failed because i......
found out what she was up to , he had no internet presence, being an adulterer he used google to remove all links to himself, so i pretended to be a customer and phoned up a supplier i thought he used, said i was in the manchester area that day and would like to know if that had any idea of his address.....they gave the town he lived in,i went to search him online in the town, got nothing as he lives with his wife in rented property, after he got her to leave her husband, get divorced and spent her money, this he was planning to do with mine i assume?
i spent £200 on a detective for his address and finally got it, x directory phone....damn, phoned up the next door neighbour who turned out to be a mobile sports masseur, i made up a cocknbull story about being his mate from work and planning a surprise party, but had lost his phone number, she got rightly suspicious and phoned his wife......who then phoned me!!!
i told her he was having an affair with my wife.....she said....oh no not again...this will be the 4th one from that company that she knew about.
i checked my google maps one day to see which job i was at on a previous month, turns out our phones were joined via google maps and a massive list of hotels came up, the list went back 2 years!!!!
working flexi hours , she was visting him during the afternoon at local hotels, or saying to me that she was at a works meeting!
contacting his wife tipped her over the edge, i was told to leave the family home as i was a bullying, abusive, threatening , violent character, she was scared for her life and phoned the police
The police arrived, i calmly told them what was happening and why i wasn't leaving, they said to her "if you phone us again about this you will be arrested".
next day she left with the kids and the day after i recieved a letter from her solicitor stating i must leave my home due to being an unreasonable character, she got a mate to back up her story, the court then removed me from my home a month later.
i spent the next 2 years in a bedsit that had no heating, just a electric shower.
she spent all the time lying about what had happened and how i was such a bad person.

She had to pay me off the mortgage, and i now happily live in a detached apartment where i am happy! I also have a new girlfriend who also had a messy divorce , and we have a lot of fun together.

I myself, i paid in excess of £10000 in legal fees, her mother paid hers, this was a complete waste of money, all she had to do was be honest and upfront with the kids and everyone we knew, but he was married, he worked in the same office and im pretty sure that their affair would not of been looked on as good business practice, so he made her do everything to keep it secret.

The real victims of this are my 2 kids , who have suffered endlessly during the whole mess and are still now, its a heartbreaking thing to slowly watch your 2 most precious people slowly disintegrate.
She is now single and lover boy has gone, the grass is always greener on the other side?

What a mess relationships can often turn into
I feel sorry for the children hopefully they will get through life well and it won’t mess up their future friendships......
I see my ex stepdaughter and feel so sorry for her again all down to the mother I believe
 
Last edited:

SDMDAM

Distinguished Member
What a sorry tale, do feel sorry for you and the children but glad to see things going well for you now.
 

busterbenny2001

Distinguished Member
Yes agree sounds like a tough time glad you came through ok, hope kids are ok hate the fact that the ,kids are the ones who suffer.
 

Wahreo

Distinguished Member
Did you get an AIDS test once you found out. First thing I would do.

Some women can be so manipulative.

Incindentally, my Ex wife is getting married on Saturday. We don’t talk about the past anymore. Been over it enough already. Good luck to her.

I still pay her money every month. My Divorce was the best thing to happen to me.
 

The Dark Horse

Well-known Member
she had been slashing my tyres with a stanley knife, dipping the blade in water and only going halfway in ( the water will not show a knife mark, the police informed me of this after 4 seperate tyres were slashed), as i did a lot of motorway driving, this was a attempt to bump me off i think?
i worked out that my tiredness and being unable to move when i woke in the middle of the night was down to the sleeping pills ( for her supposed anxiety and depression?) she was secretly putting in my bottles of beer and then handing me already opened , so she could talk to him after the kids had gone to bed at 11pm , thats why she was so lifeless in the morning.

Did the police take this any further?
 

Trollslayer

Distinguished Member
Could that be described as attempted murder?
 

basserphil

Well-known Member
the police just told me its difficult to prove,i had the 2 tyres as evidence but it went no further, she actually admitted to doing it on the holiday, but laughed at me and said prove it!! the worst part about it was it always happened at major events...ie....twice at xmas, then just before a holiday and also just before my birthday/holiday.there is more to this sorry tale, but it would of been to much to type and take in one go,
 

Trollslayer

Distinguished Member
"Because I like people treating me like I have a disability?"
 

robel

Well-known Member

NicolasB

Distinguished Member
Not that this is likely to be much of a comfort, but I seriously doubt she was trying to kill you with the tyre thing - it was probably just a bit of unfocused lashing out, or possibly intended to keep you away from the house a little longer while you fixed it. There are far more efficient ways to murder someone than that if she had really wanted to. (Even just tampering with the brake line instead of the tyre would be a more obvious option, for example).

It sounds like your wife has some pretty serious mental health issues. :( I have to wonder how much the manipulative lover was to blame for some of this, too.... Still, regardless, certainly a situation you want to get as far away from as possible, and not have anything more to do with!

One thing does puzzle me: why did you put so much effort into tracking down the boyfriend? I mean, hiring a detective...? If you knew she was cheating, why did it matter who she was cheating with?
 

Hixs

Distinguished Member
Sounds like she needs a good **** punt.
 

basserphil

Well-known Member
Not that this is likely to be much of a comfort, but I seriously doubt she was trying to kill you with the tyre thing - it was probably just a bit of unfocused lashing out, or possibly intended to keep you away from the house a little longer while you fixed it. There are far more efficient ways to murder someone than that if she had really wanted to. (Even just tampering with the brake line instead of the tyre would be a more obvious option, for example).

It sounds like your wife has some pretty serious mental health issues. :( I have to wonder how much the manipulative lover was to blame for some of this, too.... Still, regardless, certainly a situation you want to get as far away from as possible, and not have anything more to do with!

One thing does puzzle me: why did you put so much effort into tracking down the boyfriend? I mean, hiring a detective...? If you knew she was cheating, why did it matter who she was cheating with?



The policeman who visited me, said he has experience of this sort of crime, if your going down the motorway at 70 mph and the tyre blows....your in trouble....its not so obvious as a tampered brake pipe,
theres more to this unhappy tale....a lot more , but it would of been too much to read in one go.....even my closet friends have said its just like a crime novel and very hard to believe ( that she was capable of such creulty)....finding him and telling his wife, made his life hell for a month....small beers compared to the pain my 2 kids have had to endure, please understand that i tried everything to save our marriage......but it was a foolish choice that backfired on me.
 

NicolasB

Distinguished Member
Wouldn't you want to know who you were being cheated on for?
Well, my perspective on that is rather different from yours: I'm a big fan of ethical non-monogamy.

But if I think of it in terms of some other kinds of fundamental betrayal, then no, I wouldn't. Knowing that someone has betrayed me is more than enough. Knowing the details of precisely how they did it would only make me feel even worse.
 

Kailash

Well-known Member
what a nightmare! glad youre out the other side
and everyone is in such a big rush to get married it seems. thats all i get from folk , 'are you married yet' 'whens the wedding' 'bought a ring yet'. surely a lot of people get married partly because of this peer pressure? (not pointed at op, general question)
 

wiz

Distinguished Member
Nothing wrong with getting married, just got to be able to put up with the others faults (28yrs in).
 

The latest video from AVForums

Samsung S95B Update, B&W Panorama 3 & Q Acoustics Reviews, HDR PQ EOTF/Gamma Calibration Discussion
Subscribe to our YouTube channel

Latest News

Netflix confirms ad-supported option is on the way
  • By Ian Collen
  • Published
Rotel announces 60th Anniversary Diamond Series Hi-Fi duo
  • By Ian Collen
  • Published
Paramount+ launches in the UK and Ireland
  • By Ian Collen
  • Published
Hisense launches A9H 4K OLED TV
  • By Ian Collen
  • Published
What's new on UK streaming services for July 2022
  • By Andy Bassett
  • Published

Full fat HDMI teeshirts

Support AVForums with Patreon

Top Bottom