Depression , keen to know other peoples coping mechanisms and experiences .......

Foster

Distinguished Member

paulyoung666

Distinguished Member
Anything really but nothing is taking my fancy, Last of us II looks good though!
good man , at least you don't have an xbox !!!! , ive never played that , maybe I should expand my horizons , I mainly ps+ for a year , got it from shopto for £30 and they are doing psnow for the same price , that should keep me occupied for a bit !!!
 

Jamjones

Active Member
So, as I've said in previous messages, I'm going through the motions of grief and trying to make sense of everything and prior to lock down I was doing OK. Lockdown has somewhat stripped my life back and exposed the reality of everything. I've done a lot of work on myself and finding out the person I am. The past few weeks have seen a lot of tears and I burst into tears nearly all the time and everyday, where for the past 6-7 months I had cried very little. My doctor suggested a consult over the phone to explore anti-depressant medication and I dismissed the offer but it has been playing around my head over the past few days.

I feel like I am just grieving and that it is something I need to do and 'get it out' but I am usually quite a strong person that this is also alien to me. I don't like the feeling of not being in control of my emotions. Yesterday I had the in-laws over for a picnic and I cried for hours before they arrived and then again once they left. If I'm busy I'm OK and I've thrown myself into the garden and painting the house. I can't seem to get motivated to work and that was something I loved and enjoyed doing above anything. I have a dog and a daughter so I'm getting exercise but I have noticed my general mood is a lot lower. I'm usually a very positive and happy person and I still have that to a degree but not to the scale I used to have.

I'm wondering if everything will be better come September (back to school and 'normal' routine) and I should just ride the wave or take the meds and see if they help? I don't know what to do for the best.

Footnote: My husband took his life at home and I found him. The event it's self causes no emotion and very little impact but the loss of him has now hit me. I understand to others this seems an obvious 'traumatic experience' thing, but personally to me I don't see it that way.
 

paulyoung666

Distinguished Member
So, as I've said in previous messages, I'm going through the motions of grief and trying to make sense of everything and prior to lock down I was doing OK. Lockdown has somewhat stripped my life back and exposed the reality of everything. I've done a lot of work on myself and finding out the person I am. The past few weeks have seen a lot of tears and I burst into tears nearly all the time and everyday, where for the past 6-7 months I had cried very little. My doctor suggested a consult over the phone to explore anti-depressant medication and I dismissed the offer but it has been playing around my head over the past few days.

I feel like I am just grieving and that it is something I need to do and 'get it out' but I am usually quite a strong person that this is also alien to me. I don't like the feeling of not being in control of my emotions. Yesterday I had the in-laws over for a picnic and I cried for hours before they arrived and then again once they left. If I'm busy I'm OK and I've thrown myself into the garden and painting the house. I can't seem to get motivated to work and that was something I loved and enjoyed doing above anything. I have a dog and a daughter so I'm getting exercise but I have noticed my general mood is a lot lower. I'm usually a very positive and happy person and I still have that to a degree but not to the scale I used to have.

I'm wondering if everything will be better come September (back to school and 'normal' routine) and I should just ride the wave or take the meds and see if they help? I don't know what to do for the best.

Footnote: My husband took his life at home and I found him. The event it's self causes no emotion and very little impact but the loss of him has now hit me. I understand to others this seems an obvious 'traumatic experience' thing, but personally to me I don't see it that way.
I am sorry to hear that you are not getting over this , I have no experience so I honestly don't know how long it should take and guess that there is no set time.

Before I go any further , all of the things I say are from a layman's point of view.

if your GP is suggesting tablets then I would accept them , I know people will look in horror and say don't go near them , but they are nowhere near the horrible things they were years ago , and if your GP is as good as mine was they will start you off with a low dose and build you up as required over a period of time , it took me about 2 months to settle on a dose that worked , thankfully with no side effects , equally I have heard of people trying several different tablets before finding something that worked.

There is no shame in taking them.

To be honest , what you have experienced would have finished a lot of people off , so take some solace in the fact that you are still trying to get to terms with it and not hiding behind close doors.
without hunting the whole thread , am I correct in thinking that you have had some form of counselling ?

I'll leave it there for now otherwise I'll lost the plot and you won't be able to make head nor tail of it !!!

And finally , a 🤗 , even if its only a virtual one .........
 

Jamjones

Active Member
@paulyoung666 I've had counselling and got to a point where I was OK and then restarted when I felt I needed it again. I've worked in mental health for years so I know all the signs, I have loads of strategies and I'm OK at helping others but I cannot work out what is going on with myself at the moment. It's just like someone has closed the curtains on half of my brain. It may just be a delay of the grieving process but as I don't know what that's like, I can't relate!!

I've done research into people in similar positions but I can't read their stories and relate to how they have reacted. I guess I just wanted to sound off and see if anyone had been through grief and depression and could identify differences between the two.

Thank you for the virtual hug! ;)
 

k17chy

Distinguished Member
Well after going in to work today to have our safety induction ready for a return on the 22nd, then finding out 250 lads are not getting their contracts extended, I'm feelling quite anxious and stressed about the future. And here's me thinking my drinking was starting to come back down.
 

paulyoung666

Distinguished Member
Well after going in to work today to have our safety induction ready for a return on the 22nd, then finding out 250 lads are not getting their contracts extended, I'm feelling quite anxious and stressed about the future. And here's me thinking my drinking was starting to come back down.
Knacker 😩
 

paulyoung666

Distinguished Member
Just thought I wold check in and see how people are doing , with that announcement it looks as though I will be off for another 5 weeks at least .......
 

paulyoung666

Distinguished Member
Always good to keep this thread up near the top!

Hope everyone is doing better/ok/not terrible

:thumbsup:
thanks , not been to bad apart from getting the run around from the doctors and chemists over my sertraline prescription , they were hell bent I wasn’t due any but I was , managed to calm myself down , but the thought of not having the tablets was quite overwhelming to say the least 😢
 

BB3Lions

Distinguished Member
The worst thing about anxiety, depression is thinking your frustrating your partner/friends with the nonstop continuous request for support/reassurances.

Thats why this thread is excellent. You can pour your thought, fears, anxieties out and no one will judge you for it.

Keep going. I'd rather read your thoughts than your loved one accessing the platform to leave a message.
 

Trollslayer

Distinguished Member
There are a couple positive experiences I would like to share.
There are a lot of pine trees around here and an awful lot of pine cones.
Out for a walk I started to think how pine cones developed and noticed the tip of a branch that looked odd with little swellings on it.
Over a few days I saw it change and the cone is starting to form.
There are a lot of blackbirds here and at this time they look for worms and grubs in lawns. It is for their young so I don't mind the small holes they sometimes leave.

The small things can make life better.
 

paulyoung666

Distinguished Member
So that’s me getting my shielding letter , be at least the beginning of august before I will be back to work .......
 
Last edited:

mij

Well-known Member
There are a couple positive experiences I would like to share.
There are a lot of pine trees around here and an awful lot of pine cones.
Out for a walk I started to think how pine cones developed and noticed the tip of a branch that looked odd with little swellings on it.
Over a few days I saw it change and the cone is starting to form.
There are a lot of blackbirds here and at this time they look for worms and grubs in lawns. It is for their young so I don't mind the small holes they sometimes leave.

The small things can make life better.
The small things are often the overlooked important things.
 

paulyoung666

Distinguished Member
I can’t remember how long it’s been since I had a counselling session but I’m going for another this week , I don’t know whether it’s prospect of having to go back to work after nearly ten months or the prospect of the job not being there much longer or the fear of this Covid thing coming back or what or or or ....

i really don’t know , I am struggling to get access to the doctor who helped me in the first place that isn’t helping .....

I’m just so bloody confused at the moment , I’m not sleeping very well again .....

and I’m rambling .....
 

BB3Lions

Distinguished Member
I can’t remember how long it’s been since I had a counselling session but I’m going for another this week , I don’t know whether it’s prospect of having to go back to work after nearly ten months or the prospect of the job not being there much longer or the fear of this Covid thing coming back or what or or or ....

i really don’t know , I am struggling to get access to the doctor who helped me in the first place that isn’t helping .....

I’m just so bloody confused at the moment , I’m not sleeping very well again .....

and I’m rambling .....
I hate it when that happens. Ive tried so many ways of trying to figure it out, and in the end, something works, can never put a finger on it.

Once you've spilled your beans you'll figure it out mate.
 

richp007

Distinguished Member
I can’t remember how long it’s been since I had a counselling session but I’m going for another this week , I don’t know whether it’s prospect of having to go back to work after nearly ten months or the prospect of the job not being there much longer or the fear of this Covid thing coming back or what or or or ....

i really don’t know , I am struggling to get access to the doctor who helped me in the first place that isn’t helping .....

I’m just so bloody confused at the moment , I’m not sleeping very well again .....

and I’m rambling .....
Rambling is what this thread is for. Especially in the early hours of the morning. When the mods are all asleep :D

I've got a fair bit of anxiety at the moment. Definitely related to what's happening out there with the virus, as opposed to anything personal. If that makes sense.

I'm not a fan of crowds anymore so I won't be out there this weekend jostling about town with all the unwashed. But I'm anxious about what's going to happen when people are set free. I fear we might see a lot of degenerate behaviour. That notion is fuelling my anxiety.
 

BB3Lions

Distinguished Member
Rambling is what this thread is for. Especially in the early hours of the morning. When the mods are all asleep :D

I've got a fair bit of anxiety at the moment. Definitely related to what's happening out there with the virus, as opposed to anything personal. If that makes sense.

I'm not a fan of crowds anymore so I won't be out there this weekend jostling about town with all the unwashed. But I'm anxious about what's going to happen when people are set free. I fear we might see a lot of degenerate behaviour. That notion is fuelling my anxiety.
Plenty of wide open spaces to venture out too, shopping can be done online or in the evening and well, to the rest, sod them all, look after you, your family, your neighbours and the rest isn't your problem.
 

paulyoung666

Distinguished Member
Well I think I’m officially fed up now , my knee has started playing up big style , doped up on codeine , still hurts like hell , had a steroid injection which has made zero difference , can barely walk , just when I thought I was making progress this happens , highly likely I’ll be having an operation sooner rather than later 🤬🤬🤬
 

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