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Depression , keen to know other peoples coping mechanisms and experiences .......

paulyoung666

Distinguished Member
......... I've searched without any luck but didn't want to create another thread about it if we have one , thanks :)

Edit ---- thanks for the replies so far , I think I will see how this one fairs .......

Edit 2 ---- I know most people are going to give good advice , but please if anyone thinks its funny to be clever then just remember , this can get anyone at any time ........
 
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richp007

Distinguished Member
If you search there looks to be quite a few, but I'd see no harm in starting a new one if you need to. Some are old.

Perhaps in the health section?
 

Jamjones

Active Member
I tried to start a thread about mental health but didn't seem to get anywhere. I think it's important, especially this time of year, to help each other out and give each other support in some way to get through each day. I hope you're OK. The festive period can make the best of us feel lonely even if we're surrounded by people and the short days become isolating. Talking, as much as it can be hard and not always wanted, is the best way of getting through.
 

drhcnip

Well-known Member
hope you're ok, fella...battled the black dog for many years including two breakdowns and supporting my daughter through suicidal ideation, attempts, and years of issues so here for an ear-bending if you need someone
 

richp007

Distinguished Member
Yep, good to talk.

Or in this case 'type'.

Biggest mistake is thinking you are the only one and everyone else is fine. I can assure you that isn't the case.
 

MSW

Distinguished Member
It’s none of my business so, feel free to ignore, may I ask do you drink alcohol or have had any say in last 7 days. It’s terrible for worsening depression
 

mjn

Distinguished Member
What are the leading causes for depression for users here?

I should imagine it is predominately white males, married with children, between 30-65 and good jobs.
 

mjn

Distinguished Member
It’s none of my business so, feel free to ignore, may I ask do you drink alcohol or have had any say in last 7 days. It’s terrible for worsening depression
Alcohol is a weird one. Sometimes you can feel fine before you start drinking then it can make you sad. Or you can feel sad, and it makes you worse. But also, if you’re happy, it can improve that already good mood.
 

paulyoung666

Distinguished Member
ok , I'll give it a go here , need to think what I am going to write and how to write it , so I'll be back later on , if anyone wants to start the ball rolling then please feel free :)
 

reiteration

Member
What are the leading causes for depression for users here?

I should imagine it is predominately white males, married with children, between 30-65 and good jobs.
who knows...

me, lack of family and what family I've had never ever offered any support - for some reason they saw me as a strong person, whereas I saw myself as the opposite (tho, I was the first to goto Uni, but had to otherwise I'd end up like my parents? but doesn't make one a strong person..), never had a strong social life since 1999 when i left newcastle, but before then it all got a bit messy anyway and i needed to 'recover' - but not sure I've recovered?

so, with myself, it's issues since I was a kid, and the main issues are my family, I have fcuked most of them off (whilst drunk) over the last 5 years, and not entirely that was wise...
 

MSW

Distinguished Member
What are the leading causes for depression for users here?
I started writing a list, when I re-ead it everything I had written was “selfish”, “Focused on only me” and “all about me”

nothing I wrote focussed on sick children, sick adults, homelessness, people in countries that we would call oppressed or people who do not have anywhere near the opportunities we in the U.K. have

Not good and made me rethink so I deleted my list as well
 

kal77

Standard Member
I started writing a list, when I re-ead it everything I had written was “selfish”, “Focused on only me” and “all about me”
you should still share your list... it’s not selfish, everything has it’s own perspective. what hurts me, may not hurt you...
but i understand what you’re saying and those very thoughts are the reason i find it difficult to even ever feel “happiness”... how could i given all the pain happening at every moment. but you should enjoy what you can...

don’t be so hard on yourself.
 

reiteration

Member
I started writing a list, when I re-ead it everything I had written was “selfish”, “Focused on only me” and “all about me”

nothing I wrote focussed on sick children, sick adults, homelessness, people in countries that we would call oppressed or people who do not have anywhere near the opportunities we in the U.K. have

Not good and made me rethink so I deleted my list as well
it's not to say we can't have issues ourselves...

sometimes i think i need to man up...we're going out tomorrow with a couple of my partners friends - we'll be drunk, and I'll take control of the conversation (tho, my right ear's tinnitus has caused a ringing sound when i talk so who knows what will happen..), but it doesn't mean I'm not happy... could it be that if I had more friends and family actually contacted me without wanting something would make me happy?
 

CooperUK

Well-known Member
In my experience being honest with yourself and others when you feel low is important....acknowledging the issue is the first step in dealing with it.

Go and talk to your GP - don;t be afraid of taking medication. I've been taking various meds for about 25 years, the latest type for about five years, and they make me into a *relatively* functioning human being.

I find making time to see friends is good, and have to force myself to do so, as I know it will be good for me, even though my brain tells me not to go out.

Getting into a good book, or binging a series, can help to switch my brain off from the swirl of thoughts that often invade my head.

A walk in the fresh air (by the beach generally for me) is good for my mood.

Avoid self-medicating with alcohol, despite the temptations.

Try and eat fruit / veg - balanced meals are important for mental and physical wellbeing.

Drink plenty of water - hydration is good for wellbeing - or failing that, cups of decaf tea do the trick.
 

reiteration

Member
the last thing I want is medication... I take supplements from amazon like cod liver oil, zinc etc for health, and also 5htp (not sure they work tho..)...tho, what meds you on, Cooper?

i train 4 times a week, and drink 3 pints of water at work (and an additional 1 litre at the gym) - but i think the reasons are vast and varied and probably too complex for a forum, but listening to each other thoughts can help..
 

raduv1

Distinguished Member
......... I've searched without any luck but didn't want to create another thread about it if we have one , thanks :)

Edit ---- thanks for the replies so far , I think I will see how this one fairs .......

Edit 2 ---- I know most people are going to give good advice , but please if anyone thinks its funny to be clever then just remember , this can get anyone at any time ........
An on going battle against ones self as we /I have dealt with it by shutting all and everything out . A vain hope that if one shuts out those feelings then those feelings you have are diminished. It does not work mate as the only way to kill this beast is to accept it and talk to your closest family and friends how you are feeling . You have to confront it , share it and ( hopefully ) control it . It's hard work and not to be fought alone as one needs sounding boards . But , believe me there is light at the end of that tunnel and a life to live without it.

I was once told that we who suffer think to much about the outcome .
 

reiteration

Member
the thing is with shutting out emotions - you can't control what emotions you shut out - if you shut out / numb unhappiness, then you also shut out / numb happiness etc... it's a tricky one, but talking certainly helps...it's a luxury I've never had face to face..
 

paulyoung666

Distinguished Member
So me , been off work since the beginning of October after a bout of pneumonia where I ended up in hospital for 8 days nd a chest drain in for 7 of them , scared the life out of me when I went to the doctors and as she checked me out she said im getting you an ambulance now !!! , I really didn't feel that bad !!!

Anyway , after a month I felt I was ready to go back to work , despite more than 1 person , qualified and unqualified telling me It was to soon , did it anyway and really struggled despite working short hours , then I made a mistake at work , genuine bit of forgetfulness which didn't cause a massive issue , but I lied to the boss about it , of course I got found out , got reamed out and sent in front of personnel.

Due to the medical issues they have in their own words 'parked' that issue to concentrate on getting the medical side sorted , we have medical cover which for some unknown reason I had never enrolled in , they got me sorted with that and suggested I contacted them for some counselling.

I did a web chat to see if they could help , and after that they offered 10 sessions of CBT , went to the first one before xmas , went ok until she started to poke about a bit and I broke down in tears , never thought that would happen !!! , she has suggested that I don't go back to work until I have seen her for at least 5 times , and with my permission has sent a letter to work stating so.

After that I was going to the doctors , saw her and again burst into tears when she asked if I was ok , that's the first time any doctor has asked me and she said she could see I was troubling by my face , after I told her what the psychiatrist said she has put me on 50mg of sertraline to try and lift my mood which im hoping will help along with the counselling.

Trouble is im really worried about work , its a good paid job and something I am unlikely to match in terms of wages , but i'm not really happy there , its a means to end to be honest and not the sort of thing I fell comfortable with , I like to enjoy my work , and I'm not to be honest.

Anyway , that's enough ramble for now , good luck if you read all the way through it .......
 

reiteration

Member
glad you replied, and hope you're ok now healthwise...work tho, I'm not a fan of my place and won't go into it just now (it's a cause of stress for me too) - but not many companies imo truly value their staff unless the company needs them more than the staff needs them - so take as much time off as you need to recover...


lots of this sh*t is down to people, situations, and environments and most which of is out of our control... :(
 

Jamjones

Active Member
The charity Mind is amazing and can help. I'm the first to tell people to talk and yet when it comes to me I have no idea where to start. Depression, or feeling sad about your life is perfectly OK and should not be shut down. Yes there are horrendous things happening around the world and even in our neighbours house but your life, happiness and self worth is important and should be addressed. If I were to write a list of all the reasons I am sad it would be completely selfish because that's the reason I am sad.

I've been very fortunate to escape life for 3 weeks, flying 9000 miles away and forgetting all my worries but it's hit hard now and Christmas has made me realise just how numb I am inside. Tonight is the first night of being on my own for 8 days in 32 years. The thought is really daunting and although I enjoy my own company, I'm not looking forward to my first new year on my own and the anxiety is kicking in already.

I hope that gets the ball rolling
 

MSW

Distinguished Member
Trouble is im really worried about work
clearly your health has not been good but, you don’t really mention any concern for future health issues which possibly suggests that health worries are not really the driver for your mood.

Your reply centres very much on work suggesting that success in work and having a meaningful role are important (A famous footballer once said “alcoholics can often be the most successful workers around because they realise if they lose their job they lose everything” (Not saying you are an alcoholic by the way, this is a just a way of explaining how people can often view the job they have)

what actually is it about work that you are really worried about?

if it’s “losing you job” then the next question is “why”, then the next question is “why” and so on. Doing this excerise wont make you feel better but, it might just begin to help you see more clearly what is causing some of the issues for you.
 

Jamjones

Active Member
@paulyoung666 your health is so incredibly important and when that is compromised it will give you really dark days. I had a really bad infection a couple of years ago and it took me over 2 months to get the energy to do anything. I pretty much spent 2 month laid up and it made me feel completely worthless. Once I was better, it put life into perspective and I quit my job, putting the family at risk but worked my arse off to make it work and make life better for myself. Every sh*t situation that has been thrown at me in 2019 (which has been the worst) has been manageable because I can say I love my job. Had I have stayed in my well paid, career driven job I probably wouldn't be here today.

CBT is a good place to start and will help uncover things you didn't realise had an impact. I really do hope you can start to feel better soon and heal yourself. It's a sh*t place to be but it does get better.
 

leo79

Well-known Member
Two biggest things I've done this year are giving up the booze and slowly getting myself to talk about things.
It's worked wonders for me although I'm not ashamed to say I started crying the other weekend which I never do, last time would have been my grandads funeral 7 years ago.
I think if I hadn't made those changes earlier on in the year I could have possibly have had a breakdown instead of a few tears.
I think things come around at different times for different people but I completely agree now that talking, not necessarily fixing anything, is worth a lot.
 

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