D
DebtAdvice
Guest
I am hoping this thread will give some advice and help some people that may have found themselves in the same place as me. Drowning in debt and wondering if its possible to ever turn it around, this is my story and I’ll happily answer any questions and advise. As this is a sensitive subject for some I implore those that do not want to open up publically to PM me if they want, anything said to me I will keep in complete confidence!
Firstly let me state that I am a long standing member of this forum, however some people I know in real life frequent these forums and I have asked the admin of the board if I could post this anonymously. Most of my friends and family know my situation but the odd person could be a little vindictive with it so I would prefer them not to know.
So where to start…. I have debt…..a lot of debt, in total in December last year it hit £67,000, all unsecured in various forms and to top it off my wife was completely unaware!! I could go into detail about how I got to this point but I doubt it will help much, if anyone is interested then I will happily go into it but this is more about how to help yourself once you get to that point where its all consuming!
My debt is in a number of different forms, overdrafts, loans, store cards, you name it, if there is a way to get credit I have probably done it. Over the last 4-5 years those debts have increased almost exponentially as I have taken loans to pay off credit cards, maxed out the cards again, taken other loans, always chasing the debt thinking that one day I will start to see it reduce. It never does!!!!
I feared talking to my wife about it, worried about what she would do, I should have trusted her, I should have talked to her sooner. For me its being ten plus years of worry, sleepless nights, trying to work out how to make ends meet each month. My outgoings on debt were so high that I would more often than not get a message from my bank within a week of getting paid telling me I was exceeding my overdraft, I was already out of money and still had 3 weeks until payday.
In December last year it came to a head, I simply could not cope with it anymore, I couldn’t get any more credit, I couldn’t afford to pay for a weekly food shop, I had nothing! I finally spoke to my wife about it, suffice to say she was pretty angry with me, more so for lying to her and keeping it from her, but she was also very understanding that we needed to find a way out.
It was then that I spoke to Stepchange, they are a charity setup to help people who are in debt, I can’t implore people enough, if you are in any kind of debt that you cannot cope with speak to these people, they have been absolutely amazing. They went through the full details of my debts, listing each one and the value. We then went through a detailed budget of our outgoings on what we need to live. Mortgage, bills, childcare etc, everything in fine detail.
At the end of this they make their recommendation, in most cases it will be a Debt Management Plan (DMP)
With a debt management plan, stepchange take full control of your debts, they will calculate a monthly payment which you make to them and they will then pay your creditors. They contact your creditors on your behalf to tell them that you are in a DMP with them and request that they freeze the debt, stop charging interest and accept a flat monthly payment which will eventually clear that debt. I was quite surprised at how each of the creditors very quickly accepted this plan, every single one has frozen the interest and accepted said payment without issue! Of course this does mean in many cases that a default notice is logged to my credit rating but gaining any form of credit is not exactly something I plan to ever do again!
My payment to stepchange is quite high, however it is far less than the sum total of my individual payments to my creditors, by more than half!! It does not stop us from living a normal life and the major bonus of this is that my debt is expected to be cleared in 5 years. That might seem like a long time but when you have been suffering with this for over 10 years its finally a light at the end of the tunnel, I will be debt free, I will be free of this all and the weight that is off my shoulders is incredible.
My wife will now take full control of my finances, she has access to my online banking and my credit file so she can see clearly what is happening. Its incredibly cathartic to know that I don’t need to think about it anymore! I have some work to do to prove to her that I can be trusted again and she has moments when she is reminded of what I have done and I am in the doghouse again. That’s part of my penance, its still early days and very raw for her but we are strong and we will come through this together.
So to anyone out there with debts that they cannot manage, speak to someone! Do not suffer in silence, do not think that it will just solve it self, get help from people that know how to help you. There is a way out of it but only if you take that first step and ask for help!
Firstly let me state that I am a long standing member of this forum, however some people I know in real life frequent these forums and I have asked the admin of the board if I could post this anonymously. Most of my friends and family know my situation but the odd person could be a little vindictive with it so I would prefer them not to know.
So where to start…. I have debt…..a lot of debt, in total in December last year it hit £67,000, all unsecured in various forms and to top it off my wife was completely unaware!! I could go into detail about how I got to this point but I doubt it will help much, if anyone is interested then I will happily go into it but this is more about how to help yourself once you get to that point where its all consuming!
My debt is in a number of different forms, overdrafts, loans, store cards, you name it, if there is a way to get credit I have probably done it. Over the last 4-5 years those debts have increased almost exponentially as I have taken loans to pay off credit cards, maxed out the cards again, taken other loans, always chasing the debt thinking that one day I will start to see it reduce. It never does!!!!
I feared talking to my wife about it, worried about what she would do, I should have trusted her, I should have talked to her sooner. For me its being ten plus years of worry, sleepless nights, trying to work out how to make ends meet each month. My outgoings on debt were so high that I would more often than not get a message from my bank within a week of getting paid telling me I was exceeding my overdraft, I was already out of money and still had 3 weeks until payday.
In December last year it came to a head, I simply could not cope with it anymore, I couldn’t get any more credit, I couldn’t afford to pay for a weekly food shop, I had nothing! I finally spoke to my wife about it, suffice to say she was pretty angry with me, more so for lying to her and keeping it from her, but she was also very understanding that we needed to find a way out.
It was then that I spoke to Stepchange, they are a charity setup to help people who are in debt, I can’t implore people enough, if you are in any kind of debt that you cannot cope with speak to these people, they have been absolutely amazing. They went through the full details of my debts, listing each one and the value. We then went through a detailed budget of our outgoings on what we need to live. Mortgage, bills, childcare etc, everything in fine detail.
At the end of this they make their recommendation, in most cases it will be a Debt Management Plan (DMP)
With a debt management plan, stepchange take full control of your debts, they will calculate a monthly payment which you make to them and they will then pay your creditors. They contact your creditors on your behalf to tell them that you are in a DMP with them and request that they freeze the debt, stop charging interest and accept a flat monthly payment which will eventually clear that debt. I was quite surprised at how each of the creditors very quickly accepted this plan, every single one has frozen the interest and accepted said payment without issue! Of course this does mean in many cases that a default notice is logged to my credit rating but gaining any form of credit is not exactly something I plan to ever do again!
My payment to stepchange is quite high, however it is far less than the sum total of my individual payments to my creditors, by more than half!! It does not stop us from living a normal life and the major bonus of this is that my debt is expected to be cleared in 5 years. That might seem like a long time but when you have been suffering with this for over 10 years its finally a light at the end of the tunnel, I will be debt free, I will be free of this all and the weight that is off my shoulders is incredible.
My wife will now take full control of my finances, she has access to my online banking and my credit file so she can see clearly what is happening. Its incredibly cathartic to know that I don’t need to think about it anymore! I have some work to do to prove to her that I can be trusted again and she has moments when she is reminded of what I have done and I am in the doghouse again. That’s part of my penance, its still early days and very raw for her but we are strong and we will come through this together.
So to anyone out there with debts that they cannot manage, speak to someone! Do not suffer in silence, do not think that it will just solve it self, get help from people that know how to help you. There is a way out of it but only if you take that first step and ask for help!