Dismiss Notice
Attention AVForums app / Tapatalk users
Sadly GDPR means that, from 25th, we can no longer offer access to AVForums via the branded app or Tapatalk.
Click here for more information.

Darwin Awards...2005

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Yugo1, Jul 6, 2005.

  1. Yugo1

    Yugo1
    Guest

    Products Owned:
    0
    Products Wanted:
    0
    Ratings:
    +0
    Not sure if this is the official list or if it has been posted already.

    Darwin Awards...2005

    Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. Here then, are the glorious winners:

    1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder.
    He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again.
    This time it worked...

    2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine, and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

    3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space.
    Understandably, he shot her.

    4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.
    The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

    5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

    6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter.
    The total amount he got from the drawer, $15.
    (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)

    7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly.
    He decided that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window.
    The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious.
    The liquor store window was made of Plexiglass...the whole event was caught on videotape.

    8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID to which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

    9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash.
    The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order.
    When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast...
    The man, frustrated, walked away.
    A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!

    10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle Street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage.
    A police spokesman said that the man admitted trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
     
  2. Mr Cat

    Mr Cat
    Banned

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2003
    Messages:
    2,215
    Products Owned:
    0
    Products Wanted:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    51
    Location:
    Weardale
    Ratings:
    +57
    wasn't this in previous years awards..??? hmm...
     
  3. dc007

    dc007
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2000
    Messages:
    1,294
    Products Owned:
    0
    Products Wanted:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    London, U.K.
    Ratings:
    +47
    Thought the whole point of the Darwin Awards was that to be nominated you had to die, in order to improve the gene pool.... ??
     
  4. themoid

    themoid
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2001
    Messages:
    879
    Products Owned:
    0
    Products Wanted:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    31
    Location:
    Staffs
    Ratings:
    +30
    i like the bus driver one :D the dangers of using public transport ....
     
  5. Yugo1

    Yugo1
    Guest

    Products Owned:
    0
    Products Wanted:
    0
    Ratings:
    +0
    Actually, the dying point rings a bell. Oh well, still funny :D
     
  6. Mr.D

    Mr.D
    Well-known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2000
    Messages:
    11,167
    Products Owned:
    0
    Products Wanted:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    133
    Ratings:
    +1,209
    A lot of these are urban myths . The Darwin people normally vet them a bit better than that.
     
  7. ReggieDaMole

    ReggieDaMole
    Standard Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2004
    Messages:
    189
    Products Owned:
    0
    Products Wanted:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    19
    Location:
    The fields of Anfield Road
    Ratings:
    +0
    You have to DIE for the darwin awards.. These are just the same old stories coming out again....
     
  8. mrtbag

    mrtbag
    Well-known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 17, 2002
    Messages:
    3,652
    Products Owned:
    0
    Products Wanted:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    106
    Location:
    Anywhere I want
    Ratings:
    +394
  9. t-force

    t-force
    Active Member

    Joined:
    May 2, 2001
    Messages:
    1,852
    Products Owned:
    0
    Products Wanted:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    66
    Location:
    Southampton, UK
    Ratings:
    +143
    Technically you don't have to die. You just have to ensure your genes cannot be passed on to the next generation - hence the one a few years back where some bloke dangled his testicles over a bowling machine, and they were ripped off!!
     
  10. Yugo1

    Yugo1
    Guest

    Products Owned:
    0
    Products Wanted:
    0
    Ratings:
    +0
    :rotfl: At least they came back to him !!!!!
     
  11. t-force

    t-force
    Active Member

    Joined:
    May 2, 2001
    Messages:
    1,852
    Products Owned:
    0
    Products Wanted:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    66
    Location:
    Southampton, UK
    Ratings:
    +143
    No, no. Wrong kind of bowling machine. This was a CRICKET bowling machine, as I recall, so they went away from him very quickly!
     

Share This Page

Loading...
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice