right I've been looking at not really found much, I've got some bose SoundLink® around-ear wireless headphones II. i plug them into my controller and play like that, can i get mic to plug in so i can chat with my mates, or can i pair my AirPods pro???
Not that one, that's just a headphone splitter. If you look at the plug, it has 2 black rings on it. That's a 3 pole TRS connector, which is just for audio. You want a 4 pole TRRS connector, so have a look for a headset splitter that has marked headphone and mic inputs.
Something like this:
Something like a ModMic is designed to connect to a regular pair of headphones. Or maybe a lavalier mic.
Alternatively, you could get a USB microphone and plug that into the PS4.