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Class lyrics / Appalling lyrics

Discussion in 'Music & Music Streaming Services' started by juboy, Aug 28, 2002.

  1. juboy

    juboy
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    Just heard a tune with the best title/lyrics of the year so far...

    'It's Just Porn Mom' by Trucks.

    Worst lyrics of the year so far go to Scooter's 'Nessaja' which actually contains the lines:

    "Its not a bird, its not a plane,
    it must be Dave who's on the train"

    Anyone beat that for terrible rhyming couplets?
     
  2. gringottsdirect

    gringottsdirect
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    Efficiency and progress is ours once more
    Now that we have the Neutron Bomb
    It's nice and quick and clean and gets things done
    Away with excess enemy
    With no less value to property
    No sense in war but perfect sense at home...

    The sun beams down on a brand new day
    No more welfare tax to pay
    Unsightly slums gone up in flashing light
    Jobless millions whisked away
    At last we have more room to play
    All systems go to kill the poor tonight

    Gonna
    Kill Kill Kill Kill
    Kill the poor...Tonight

    Behold the sparkle of champagne
    The crime rates gone, feel free again
    O life's a dream with you, Miss Lily White
    Jane Fonda on the screen today
    Convinced the liberals it's okay
    So let's get dressed and dance away the night

    While they...
    Kill Kill Kill Kill
    Kill the poor...Tonight

    ( Kill The Poor...........Dead Kennedys )
     
  3. enajh2

    enajh2
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    U2 - Elevation

    Well, Bono really for..

    "..like a mole, digging in a hole." !!!!!!! :( :eek:

    C'mon? And this from the guy who came out with something like One off the top of his head in '91-92 in Berlin jamming in a room with the rest of the band!
     
  4. gringottsdirect

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    Never win first place, I don't support the team
    I can't take direction, and my socks are never clean
    Teachers dated me, my parents hated me
    I was always in a fight cuz I can't do nothin' right

    Everyday I fight a war against the mirror
    I can't take the person starin' back at me
    I'm a hazard to myself

    Don't let me get me
    I'm my own worst enemy
    It's bad when you annoy yourself
    So irritating
    Don't wanna be my friend no more
    I wanna be somebody else

    I wanna be somebody else, yeah

    L.A. told me, " You'll be a pop star,
    All you have to change is everything you are."
    Tired of being compared to damn Britney Spears
    She's so pretty, that just ain't me

    Doctor, doctor won't you please prescribe somethin'
    A day in the life of someone else?
    Cuz I'm a hazard to myself
    Don't let me get me

    I wanna be somebody else.


    ( Don't Let Me Get Me...........Pink )
     
  5. lmccauley

    lmccauley
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    mmmmm - yes, class song & album.

    Gotta respect Nelly Furtado for managing to get "Mobius strip" int her lyrics...

    Cheers,
    Liam
     
  6. paiger

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    I'm ever upper class high society
    God's gift to ballroom notoriety
    I always fill my ballroom
    The event is never small
    The social pages say I've got
    The biggest balls of all

    CHORUS:
    I've got big balls
    I've got big balls
    And they're such big balls
    Dirty big balls
    And he's got big balls
    And she's got big balls
    But we've got the biggest balls of them all

    And my balls are always bouncing
    My ballroom always full
    And everybody comes and comes again
    If your name is on the guest list
    No one can take you higher
    Everybody says I've got
    Great balls of fire

    CHORUS

    Some balls are held for charity
    And some for fancy dress
    But when they're held for pleasure
    They're the balls that I like best
    My balls are always bouncing
    To the left and to the right
    It's my belief that my big balls
    Should be held every night

    CHORUS

    And I'm just itching to tell you about them
    Oh we had such wonderful fun
    Seafood cocktail, crabs, crayfish...

    Bon Scott
     
  7. dc007

    dc007
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    Spinal Tap for quality lyrics such as

    'My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo,
    I like to sink her with my pink Torpedo....
    Big bottom.... big bottom,
    Talk about mudflaps - my girls got 'em.....

    and from the classic 'Sex Farm' -

    Working on a sex farm,
    Ploughing through your beanfield,
    Getting out my pitchfork,
    Poking your hay....

    Have got the original soundtrack (Smell the Glove), plus the wonderful follow up, 'Break like the Wind'. Both are jam-packed with hysterical lyrics....
     
  8. david plunkett

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    How about...

    I would hate to see a ghost
    Its the sight that i fear worst
    rather sit and eat some toast
    watching the evening news

    Desree - life
     
  9. gringottsdirect

    gringottsdirect
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    Outside another yellow moon
    Punched a hole in the night time, yes
    I climbed through the window and down the street
    Shining like a new dime
    The downtown trains are full
    With all those Brooklyn girls
    They try so hard to break out of their little worlds

    You wave your hand and they scatter like crows
    They have nothing that will ever capture your heart
    They're just thorns without the rose
    Be careful of them in the dark
    Oh if I was the one
    You chose to be your only one
    Oh baby can't you hear me now

    Will I see you tonight
    On a downtown train
    Every night it's just the same
    You leave me lonely , now

    I know your window and I know it's late
    I know your stairs and your doorway
    I walk down your street and past your gate
    I stand by the light at the four way
    You watch them as they fall
    They all have heart attacks
    They stay at the carnival
    But they'll never win you back

    Will I see you tonight
    On a downtown train
    All of my dreams just fall like rain
    All upon a downtown train

    ( Downtown Train..........Tom Waits )
     
  10. Gambit

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    seven a.m.,
    the garbage truck beeps as it backs up
    and I start my day thinking about what I've thrown away.
    Could I push rewind?
    The credits traverse signifying the end but I missed the best part.
    Could we please go back to start?

    Forgive my indecision

    Then again, you're always first when no one's on your side.
    But then again, a day will come when I want off that ride.

    eleven a.m.,
    by now you would think that I would be up
    but my bedsheets shade the heat of choices I've made.
    And what did I find?
    I never thought I could want someone so much
    'cause now you're not here and I'm knee deep in
    that old fear.

    Forgive my indecision... I am only a man

    Then again, you're always first when no one's on your side.
    But then again, a day will come when I want off that ride.

    Twelve pm and my dusty telephone rings.
    Heavy head up from my pillow, who could it be?
    I hope it's you.

    Incubus, 11a.m.
     
  11. gringottsdirect

    gringottsdirect
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    I'll tell you a story, believe me, it's true
    A tale you'd best hope never happens to you
    Old Spicy McHaggis, how he met his fate
    You I can save, but for him it's too late

    Spicy was big, burly, and strong
    His pipes were gigantic, and so was his schlong
    From city to city, running around
    Looking for chicks over four hundred pounds

    One night at the pub, a girl caught his eye
    Big as a house, just the right size
    The broad was enormous, stacked to the hilt
    Spicy soon noticed a bulge in his kilt
    The piper delivered his best pick-up line
    Thought to himself, " This beast is all mine "
    The portly young lady could stand for no more
    Grabbed his cahones and went for the door

    They got to her house and dimmed all the lights
    Spicy was in for one hell of a night
    He said that he loved her, he'd always be true
    " But Mr McHaggis, I've only just met you ! "

    By now he saw double through his drunken eyes
    Neither had looks or appropriate size
    He came to his senses, thought to himself
    " At this time of night I won't find nothing else "
    He took off his shirt, she lifted her skirt
    They pulled out his unit and started to play
    She asked for a glove, he gave her a shove
    Had baby McHaggis nine months to-the-day.

    Three packs a day, he'll smoke 'till he dies
    Spicy McHaggis, One Hell Of A Guy !!


    ( The Spicy McHaggis Jig.................Dropkick Murphys )
     
  12. gringottsdirect

    gringottsdirect
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    Muscle baby won't let go
    Week-end baby won't say no
    Is she an active beauty ?
    I should say so

    Wooden bones and pretty lashes
    Iodine for your baby's gashes
    Little tombs for your baby's ashes
    If something goes wrong

    Tiny steps almost real
    Tiny fingers you almost feel
    Make her walk or make her kneel
    Oh, she's almost human beneath that cuban heel

    Who's that down at the bottom of the garden ?
    Who's that hiding underneath the sofa ?
    Who gets blamed whenever you're in trouble
    She's your friend and she's your double

    Pretty little fashion face
    Pick anyone up off the shelf
    Though you say it's a disgrace
    You know you owe it to yourself

    You can even shop around
    Though you won't find any cheaper
    She's your baby now
    You can keep her...


    ( Tiny Steps...............Elvis Costello )
     
  13. perrdl

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    Worst Lyrics have to be Feeder, Buck Rodgers:

    He's got a brand new car
    Looks like a jaguar
    It's got leather seats
    It's got a CD player

    But I don't wanna talk about it anymore

    I think we're gonna make it
    I think we're gonna save it
    So don't you try and fake it
    Anymore, anymore

    We'll start over again
    Grow ourselves new skin
    Get a house in Devon
    Drink cider from a Lemon
     
  14. juboy

    juboy
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    Here's the full lyrics to that Scooter nonsense:

    Free I am!
    The painted cow!
    Hiaaaaa!!
    You aint stoppin' us now!

    Wonderful human beings

    Yeah !
    I am the junglist soldier.
    Come On!
    The rocket launcher stops ya.
    It's not a bird, it's not a plane
    It must be Dave who`s on the train
    Wanna wanna get's ya, gonna gonna get's ya
    Tell em that I told ya
    Yeah!

    Allright
    Are you ready? It's not a game
    I chat so much, I turn you insane
    Wanna wanna get`s ya, gonna gonna get`s ya
    Messing up the area
    Yeah!

    Come On !
    I am the fresh man
    Messing up the jam!
    Turning on the stereo
    Join the caravan

    Skippy, the rainbow cow!

    (I removed the pitched up woman's vocal... which actually has OK lyrics!)

    What the hell does 'Skippy, the rainbow cow' mean?

    Maybe they wrote their lyrics in their native language and used Babel Fish for the English version :)
     
  15. Gambit

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    "Karate"

    With karate I'll kick your ass
    Here to Tiennamen Square.
    Oh yeah, mutha****a,
    I'm 'onna kick your ****in' derriere.
    You broke the rules,
    Now I'll pull out all your pubic hair,
    You mutha****a.
    You mutha****a.

    Kyle betrayed me
    And then he lied tried to hide
    And I died deep inside
    And you know the reason why.

    I'm 'onna kick your ass
    From here to right over there.
    Oh yeah mutha****a,
    I'm 'onna kick your ****in' derriere.
    You broke the rules,
    Now I'll pull out all your pubic hair,
    You mutha****a.
    You mutha****a.

    Karate- Tenacious D
     
  16. gringottsdirect

    gringottsdirect
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    Oh my name it is nothin'
    My age it means less
    The country I come from
    Is called the Mid-West
    I's taught and brought up there
    The laws to abide
    And that land that I live in
    Has God on it's side

    Oh the history books tell it
    They tell it so well
    The cavalries charged
    The Indians fell
    The cavalries charged
    The Indians died
    Oh the country was young
    With God on it's side

    Oh the Spanish-American
    War had it's day
    And the Civil War too
    Was soon laid away
    And the names of the heroes
    I's made to memorize
    With Guns in their hands
    And God on their side

    Oh the First World War, boys
    It closed out it's fate
    The reason for fighting
    I never got straight
    But I learned to accept it
    Accept it with pride
    For you don't count the dead
    When God's on your side

    When the Second World War
    Came to an end
    We forgave the Germans
    And we were friends
    Though they murdered six million
    In the ovens they fried
    The Germans now too
    Have God on their side

    I've learned to hate Russians
    All through my whole life
    If another war starts
    It's them we must fight
    To hate them and fear them
    To run and to hide
    And accept it all bravely
    With God on my side

    But now we got weapons
    Of the chemical dust
    If fire them we're forced to
    Then fire them we must
    One push of the button
    And a shot the world wide
    And you never ask questions
    When God's on your side

    In a many dark hour
    I've been thinkin' about this
    That Jesus Christ
    Was betrayed by a kiss
    But I can't think for you
    You'll have to decide
    Whether Judas Iscariot
    Had God on his side

    So now as I'm leavin'
    I'm weary as Hell
    The confusion I'm feelin'
    Ain't no tongue can tell
    The words fill my head
    And fall to the floor
    If God's on our side
    He'll stop the next war.


    ( With God On Our Side..........Bob Dylan )
     
  17. jGrahamD

    jGrahamD
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    MacArthur's Park is melting in the dark
    All the sweet, green icing flowing down...
    Someone left the cake out in the rain
    I don't think that I can take it
    'cause it took so long to bake it
    And I'll never have that recipe again
    Oh, no!
     
  18. gringottsdirect

    gringottsdirect
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    When I was seventeen, it was a very good year
    It was a very good year for small town girls and soft summer nights
    We'd hide from the light on the village green when I was seventeen.

    When I was twenty-one, it was a very good year
    It was a very good year for city girls who lived up the stairs
    With perfume hair that came undone
    When I was twenty-one.

    When I was thirty-five, it was a very good year
    It was a very good year for blue blooded girls of independent means
    We'd ride in limousines
    Their chauffeurs would drive when I was thirty-five.

    But now the days are short, I'm in the autumn of the year
    And now I think of my life as vintage wine from fine old kegs
    From the brim to the dregs.

    It poured sweet and clear.

    It was a very good year


    ( It Was A Very Good Year.............Frank Sinatra )
     
  19. lechacal

    lechacal
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    Madness also made the tragic mistake of rhyming Jaguar with car:
    I like driving in my car
    Even with a flat ty-ar
    I like driving in my car
    It's not quite a Jag-u-ar

    Who was the ****** who made that Godawful song - French I think - might have been called 'Where do you go to' or 'Inside your head'. Un-be-lieeee-vably bad lyrics. Please don't quote them.

    There's not enough people talking about class:
    Aimee Mann - Save Me
    ...Save me
    From the ranks of the freaks
    Who suspect they could never love anyone
    (Mind you, it has got the 'radium' line in it: You struck me dumb, like ra-di-um. Euch!)
     
  20. gringottsdirect

    gringottsdirect
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    That night her kiss told me it was over
    I walked out late into the dark
    The misty gloom seems to soak up my sorrow
    The further I went on I felt a spreading calm
    Then suddenly my eyes were bathed in a light
    And the lovely lady in white was by my side
    She said " Like me I see you're walking alone
    Won't you please stay? " I couldn't look away

    She said I love the night
    The day is OK and the sun can be fun
    But I live to see those rays slip away
    I love the night
    There's so much I can show and give to you
    If you will welcome me tonight
    If only you had been there my dear
    We could have shared this together

    No mortal was meant to see such wonder
    One look in the mirror told me so
    Come darkness I'll see her again
    Yes I'm gonna go 'cause now I know

    She said I love the night
    The day is OK and the sun can be fun
    But I live to see those rays slip away
    I love the night

    There's so much that I can show and give to you
    If you will welcome me tonight
    If only you had been there my dear
    We could have shared this together


    ( I Love The Night.............Blue Oyster Cult )

    Dedicated to SMG and JM.
     
  21. lynx

    lynx
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    How about Ivor Biggun's 1978 classic ''winkers song''? Could be a spelling mistake there folks. :D I won't take this oppertunity to spell out the lyrics :blush: :D
     
  22. captaindobie

    captaindobie
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    I'm as serious as cancer when i say rhythm is a dancer !
    Indeed.
    Cracks me up every time.
    I think it was by SNAP (?)
     
  23. Mindcrime

    Mindcrime
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    Best lyrics ever written????

    Dead Kennedys - A Tribute To Jimi Hendrix

    Goes Somethin' like this:

    "You're Dead!"



    3 seconds of pure brilliance:eek:
     
  24. juboy

    juboy
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    Was it not the mighty S.O.D. that did 'The Ballad of Jimi Hendrix'?
    I think they also did The Ballad of Jim Morrison and The Ballad of Freddie Mecury at various live shows.
     
  25. holtehero

    holtehero
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    Peter and the test tube babies

    "Elvis is Dead"

    With the lines:

    Elvis had a heart attack
    Cos he was to ******* fat

    Quality :)
     
  26. slayerad2000

    slayerad2000
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    slick back the wack
    and repack my sack
    kid rock

    it stinks in here cause i'm the sh*t
    kid rock again
     
  27. stevegreen

    stevegreen
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    It just doesn't get any better than this!

    The Handsome Family:

    Drunk by Noon

    There once was a poodle who thought he was a cowboy, but he lived in a cage the size of his thumb. And, though his white horse was a box of toothpicks, he galloped around until hit by a car. Sometimes I flap my arms like a hummingbird just to remind myself I'll never fly. Sometimes I burn my arms with cigarettes just to pretend I won't scream when I die. Sometimes I can't wait to come down with cancer. At least then I'll get to watch tv all day. And on my deathbed I'll get all the answers even if all my questions are taken away.
    If my life was as long as the moon's, I'd still be jealous of the sun. If my life lasted only one day, I'd still be drunk by noon.

    :D
     
  28. Guest

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    Worst lyrics :

    "I really really really wanna zig-a-zig aah"

    Wannabe - The Spice Girls. (And anything else by them)
     
  29. gringottsdirect

    gringottsdirect
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    Is this some kind of joke you're really a bloke ?
     
  30. gringottsdirect

    gringottsdirect
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    I got a sixty-nine Chevy with a 396
    Fuelie heads and a Hurst on the floor
    She's waiting tonight down in the parking lot
    Outside the Seven-Eleven store
    Me and my partner Sonny built her straight out of scratch
    And he rides with me from town to town
    We only run for the money , got no strings attached
    We shut 'em up and then we shut 'em down

    Tonight , tonight the strip's just right
    I wanna blow 'em off in my first heat
    Summer's here and the time is right
    For racin' in the street

    We take all the action we can meet
    And we cover all the northeast state
    When the strip shuts down we run 'em in the street
    From the fire roads to the interstate
    Some guys they just give up living
    And start dying little by little , piece by piece ,
    Some guys come home from work and wash up ,
    And go racin' in the street.

    Tonight , tonight the strip's just right
    I wanna blow 'em all out of their seats
    Calling out around the world , we're going racin' in the street.

    I met her on the strip three years ago
    In a Camero with this dude from L.A.
    I blew that Camero off my back ,
    And drove that little girl away ,
    But now there's wrinkles around my baby's eyes
    And she cries herself to sleep at night
    When I come home the house is dark
    She sighs, " Baby did you make it all right , "
    She sits on the porch of her Daddy's house
    But all her pretty dreams are torn ,
    She stares off alone into the night
    With the eyes of one who hates for just being born
    For all the shutdown strangers and hot rod angels ,
    Rumbling through this promised land
    Tonight my baby and me , we're gonna ride to the sea
    And wash these sins off our hands.

    Tonight , tonight the highway's bright
    Out of our way , mister you best keep
    ' Cause summer's here and the time is right
    For racin' in the street.

    ( Racing In The Street.............Bruce Springsteen )
     

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