Bullying at School.

For all that may be (unfortunately) interested Fathers for Justice are not overly interested in individual cases they are more about changing the legal aspects of a Father's rights, although i did speak (via correspondence) at length and actually developed the impression that there were some highly intelligent and dedicated members, rather than the sensationalist stuff you tend to see on TV. Families Need Fathers i found to be a far better source of current and correct legal understanding and support and i would recommend them, if for no other reason than in giving a clear sense of direction. It is important to understand and fight the fight's you can win. Solicitors are only too willing to take on any and all "fights" regardless of predictable outcomes, and at some expense.
 
Steve.EX said:
Slightly off-topic......

I've just finished reading this post and it's both heartbreaking and enraging.
I don't know how I would cope with what you're having to cope with. Its like a world gone mad.
I don't not what to say, words fail me.
I can only wish you good luck and the strength to cope as best you can.
 
Hope your meeting with the school goes well GJC.

Your school should have an anti-bullying policy in place, so don't accept any half-arsed excuses. They are responsible for your child's safety and wellfare, not just his education.

If all else fails, you could try the "Hollywood Solution": try and arrange for the bully to pop by your house one evening, while your son is busy outside painting fences and waxing cars [note: requires the assistance of kindly handyman / martial arts master to be truly effective].

Once word gets out that your son can catch a fly with a pair of chopsticks and do the crane technique, he'll have no more problems. :smashin:
 
I still think you should bang the mother and then brag about it to the kid. That'll knock the wind from his sails!
 
Have you joined fathers 4 justice?
Please don't mention them when someone is making a geniune attempt to sort out a terrible situation. FFJ is full of absent parents (some of whom I have dealt with)trying to get out of maintenance by getting shared care for their children. Yes, they are that cynical.

Families Need Fathers i found to be a far better source of current and correct legal understanding and support and i would recommend them, if for no other reason than in giving a clear sense of direction.
Agreed. They seem much easier to deal with and have the childrens and fathers interests at heart.

The trouble is, the statistics show, that 70% of fathers who left the family home before the CSA arrived, did so willingly, and a further 80% made no attempt to contact, whatever the relationship with the mother, their children after 5 years. The average maintenance payment prior to the CSA's arrival was..................? Have a guess. You WILL be shocked.

This has led to the current, and unacceptable swing, away from fathers, both in legal terms and in the courts misguided perceptions. Groups like FFJ are NOT helping.

What we need is a proper overhaul of the system, and a change in the perception of fathers in the modern World to stop people like Steve.ex getting shafted.

Your school should have an anti-bullying policy in place, so don't accept any half-arsed excuses. They are responsible for your child's safety and wellfare, not just his education.
Exactly.
 
Blimey Steve.Ex - that's just insane!

Try and remain positive: a very good friend of mine went through a similar situation with his ex, but after years of misery and denied access / involvement, his daughter now lives with him full-time.

You see his ex made one fatal mistake - she forgot that as kids grow-up they get smarter and more aware of what's going on. Once my friend's daughter reached 11, she'd had enough of the way her mother was using her as a weapon to hurt her dad, and so she insisted that she be allowed to go and live with him instead. :thumbsup:

Despite her mother's protests, the daughter (as kids invariably do!) got her way.

All this and your example have made me realise how lucky I am to have a great relationship with my ex - I've never had a moment's cause for concern in 11 years.
 
ahhh Overkill....don't mention the CSA!

Dealing with those idiots was like talking to a brick wall, only you got more sense from the wall.
 
Steve.EX said:
I have to say that the general sense of helplessness has been overwhelming at times. I have sought the service of local MP's, Newspapers, in fact anyone who would listen as to the utter futility of the Family Courts Service, whilst no end of good will is on offer, what is the point of a system that has no power (or indeed willingness) to enforce any Orders that THEY produce?

reliable "Hit men" can be had for £1000, cheaper and far more effective than litigation.

Divorce is a life sentence for most men, murder is only 8 years (if you get caught)
 
pjclark1 said:
reliable "Hit men" can be had for £1000, cheaper and far more effective than litigation.

Divorce is a life sentence for most men, murder is only 8 years (if you get caught)
Not my style i'm afraid.
I would settle for a bit of equality and recognition for the 7 years where i was allowed to be a Father.
 
Dealing with those idiots was like talking to a brick wall, only you got more sense from the wall.
While working for them was a nightmare, the feeling, I assure you, was mutual. I think I heard, read, and exposed more lies working in that depressing place than reading ten years worth of Hansard. Not to mention being messed about on a daily basis, sworn at, shouted at, and whatever you tried to do to help, only ending up with one side or the other slagging you off :rolleyes: An absolute bloody mare'.

That's why it's in such a mess now. No-one with half a brain cell will work there anymore.

I would settle for a bit of equality and recognition for the 7 years where i was allowed to be a Father.
Here, here.
 
Thank god I no longer have to deal with those idiots!!!

It took them four years to acknowledge that I now live in Cambridgeshire and not Hertfordshire. How difficult is it to update an address field on a computer screen? Obviously way to complicated for the CSA dimwits that I had to deal with.

Anyway...my ex and I decided to opt out last month, and came to a private arrangement re maintenance.

When my ex put the call through to tell them of our decision, she was told "OK. No problem."

When I did the same thing, I was given a "settlement figure" that I had to pay...which differed considerably from the figure my ex had been told I would have to pay (I think the people at the CSA assume all parents they deal with no longer speak to each other).

When I challenged the girl I was speaking to, she said that the figure now included an £85 administration fee that I was liable for (note: no 50:50 split with the child's mother; the father foots the bill).

I refused to pay the fee, and to my utter amazement her reply was: "OK. No problem. We've been told to waive the fee if anyone objects."
 
I was bullied at secondary school

I stopped it by beating up one bully and trying to strangle another
 
MartinImber said:
I was bullied at secondary school

I stopped it by beating up one bully and trying to strangle another

I just banged his old lady and showed him the pictures. Didn't come near me again... same can't be said for his maw though!


Or his sister!
 
I just banged his old lady and showed him the pictures. Didn't come near me again... same can't be said for his maw though!
MR D that story sounds awfully familiar? :D You didn't use to live in Surrey did you? I knew a bloke who did that very thing.................. The bully in question is still sharpening up his knife collection for revenge to this day! :D
 
It took them four years to acknowledge that I now live in Cambridgeshire and not Hertfordshire. How difficult is it to update an address field on a computer screen? Obviously way to complicated for the CSA dimwits that I had to deal with.
Trouble is nebby, is that if you put that down in writing and it was actioned straight away it would be fine. However, if it went into the case officers ten mile high stack of paperwork it might have been filed and forgotten.

Or, and here it comes, if your ex originaly disputed the address (nothing sinister, as she may have just not been sure about it to start with), then it would be have to 100% verified. As as result you would be asked for a dozen pieces of info to prove it. Most AP's don't bother to reply (I'm not saying you didn't). As a result, chaos, backlogs - and more pain.

Or, as periodically happens, to keep 'staff on their toes' they, and all the case loads would be moved around. Of course in a job as complex as that, this is an utterly brain dead move, as it takes the CO months then to get straight again. By which time - all change again. I was there two years (not including 6 months off for a serious illness) and was moved, along with everybody else, dept/caseload/section, four times! Utter madness..............

No excuses here, just pointing out why we all used to end up hating eachother. AP, PC, and CSA staff.

No wonder that hideous place broke my health...........
 
Shortly before my ex and I opted out and stopped dealing with the CSA, I had cause to ring them. During the course of the conversation, I mentioned (again!) that my address details were still incorrect. The girl I was speaking to got all defensive bleating on about how overworked everybody is. Frankly this just p****d me off (I don't care how busy you are, it shouldn't take four years to up-date someone's address details), so I asked her to in-put my address details as we spoke. "OK," she said, "just read it out to me."

After giving the girl my address I asked that she read it back to me, just to make sure...and guess what, she couldn't because she hadn't actually been in-putting it onto the system at all - nor had she written it down!!! At this point I was ready to explode...and sensing this she hung up.

I rang back and had to go through the entire process again, with some other dim wit. I say dim wit because when I contacted the CSA about a week later to finalise the details of opting out...guess what, according to their computer I still lived in Hertfordshire!!!!!!!!

At this point I had just about given up the will to live...I just laughed and asked the girl to send me something in writing confirming that my case was closed.

Last Friday I recieved just such a letter from the CSA....

....re-directed from my old address in Hertfordshire.

You just couldn't make it up.
 
You just couldn't make it up.
No, you couldn't.

After giving the girl my address I asked that she read it back to me, just to make sure...and guess what, she couldn't because she hadn't actually been in-putting it onto the system at all - nor had she written it down!!! At this point I was ready to explode...and sensing this she hung up.
I have to ask what this girl was doing. Although the telephone section can input data, the case officers don't like it because it isn't verified. You could have (not that it matters now) asked to speak to your case officer and got them to do it. Sadly, as before, the 'system' does rely on people writing data in. Bizarre in a computer age.............. :rolleyes:

The telephone section was orginally meant to help speed things up. From speaking to my old colleauges all its done in recent years is make matters worse.

Still, the CSA is finished. Let's hope what replaces it is a 100 times better! It can hardly be worse............
 

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