Breast Cancer


Outstanding Member

My wife is very high risk on breast cancer due to many member's on her side of the family having a history with cancer of some sort.

As such she has yearly breast scans and we both check throughout the year for lumps . As such over the last six or seven years we hope for the best but we're prepared for the worst .

Well yeah this is a shock. My sister was diagnosed with breast cancer a couple of weeks ago . Well it's a shock to say the least as there is nothing in our family gene pool for cancer ( sorry for the wording as hatfmd to emote ) and a real shock. She put on a brave face as in well someone from the family had to go first , me older sis is a trooper.

Had her first treatment last week and we went round Sunday to visit . Poor girl is struggling and sick to the stomach and easy to see that its hit home hard now treatment has started and the effects of said treatment .

Thought I was prepared for this but obviously not as I was shocked at how poorly me sis looked .

Life side swipes one always . Even my wife is taken aback as a bolt out the blue .


Distinguished Member
sorry to hear that, pal - know what you mean, though - my wife was diagnosed with a massive kidney tumour totally out of the blue earlier this year...we had been told it was kidney stones, were waiting for an ultrasound to check them then she ended up in a&e one day in agony, ct scans done and a massive growth found so took us completely by radical nephrectomy later and we've been in a total bubble with our world flipped upside down for months, only now returning to some sort of normality until the next scanxiety kicks in...

all the best to your sister...


Distinguished Member
All the best, take it a day at a time.
The treatment does bring it all home, but once going, you learn that it is a good thing and will become part of the journey.
Sorry and look after yourselves.


Distinguished Member
I was diagnosed with breast cancer (grade 3, stage 3) 3 years ago. Everyone reacts differently to Chemo; I was ill enough to end up in hospital on several occasions.

Also the Chemo for breast cancer can take a long time to get out if the system. I was still experiencing some minor side effects two years later.

I suspect your sister's brave face is just that. A cancer diagnosis is terrifying as those from the prostate thread will tell you. And very few are prepared for just how horrible the treatment is, so neither you nor her are alone in this respect. Although, how bad she is will depend on where she is in the treatment cycle, be prepared for her to be progressively worse as time goes on. Once her hair goes and that includes eyelashes and eyebrows she will look ill! The hair does go quite suddenly so be ready for another shock.

I had no idea how long Chemo would go on for let alone how tired it would make me.

However, before you want to jump off the cliff, there is still hope. She will find it hard not to think that every little thing is the cancer spreading, but many breast cancer sufferers still live long lives. I hope she (and I!) will be among the lucky ones.

Regarding checking your wife for lumps. It's not just lumps, but any changes. Mine just felt like a thickened milk duct no lump as such. Also try to remember that just because you sister has it, does not mean your wife is any more at risk

Is your sister on her own or does she have a partner?

I know you haven't asked but things you can do as the Chemo really starts to take hold:
- visit little and often (half an hour exhausted me when I was ill but I hated being on my own for long stretches)
- try to think of topics other than cancer (I'm not saying avoid it, but there's nothing like gossip to act as a distraction)
- pre prepared home cooked meals but in small portions and bear in mind that Chemo kills your taste buds and makes most things taste horrid.
- Offer to take her for treatment. If the Chemo is too long or her partner is doing that then offer to do the blood test run with her
- Maybe take her out occasionally. My husband used to take me to national trust properties. We'd park in the disabled slots, never a problem, spend 15mins in the property 15mins in the tea room and I'd fall asleep on the way home. Lol.
- never, ever visit if you have a cold/think you have a cold/are at the tail end of a cold.

Post chemo, op and radiotherapy don't expect instant recovery. It takes longer than most people realise. However, I'm three years since diagnosis and 21 months since end of treatment and having a great holiday in Germany. Today we have been on a walk of almost 6 miles that climbed well over 360m. 2.5 years ago I could barely make it up the stairs. Life will never be the same again, I will never be cured, but hopefully will remain in remission.

Wishing your sister luck an minimal side effects
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