Breaking up

neilo

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Can you win her over if she tells you there is no hope ?
Or do you just resign yourself to single life ?
 
Mourn.
Move on.
Simple really.
 
neilo said:
Can you win her over if she tells you there is no hope ?
Or do you just resign yourself to single life ?

would you really want to..?? move on, find someone else...
 
Shag her best mate. See how she reacts to that! :D
 
Mr Cat said:
would you really want to..?? move on, find someone else...
Yes I still love her
Im 39 this year feel too old to start again
 
Games Guru said:
Shag her best mate. See how she reacts to that! :D

Good gracious me! :eek:
 
Games Guru said:
Shag her best mate. See how she reacts to that! :D

I've often tried to kop off with ex's mates - never worked, and my ex's have always found out!!

so, any slight chance of us getting back together were simply blown out of the water...!
 
neilo said:
Can you win her over if she tells you there is no hope ?
Or do you just resign yourself to single life ?


You can win anyone over if you really want to. The thing you have to ask yourself is she the right one for you. If the answer is yes then fight for her. Do what ever it takes.

If there is someone else involved then I would wave good bye. Once someone has betrayed your trust it is near impossible to trust them again or love them in quiet the same way.

Sorry to hear you are having problems mate. I hope it is resolved one way or the other. Good luck. :)
 
Razor said:
You can win anyone over if you really want to. The thing you have to ask yourself is she the right one for you. If the answer is yes then fight for her. Do what ever it takes.

If there is someone else involved then I would wave good bye. Once someone has betrayed your trust it is near impossible to trust them again or love them in quiet the same way.

Sorry to hear you are having problems mate. I hope it is resolved one way or the other. Good luck. :)
Cheers mate
No no one else is involved
I told her last night I wont give up on us , she said I have to ..If i dont we have to stop speaking all together
 
neilo said:
Yes I still love her
Im 39 this year feel too old to start again

I broken up with a woman I was living with just over a year ago now - I do still think about her (mixed emotions tho) - but I knew we weren't right for each other tho...

I've had some flings since then and hopefully found the right woman now :smashin:

but it didn't stop me feeling emotional when I found out my ex had moved out of the village I live, I haven't a clue where she is, tho I could ask her sister who still txt's me from time to time...
 
I understand totally where Razor is coming from, but imagine if you were her and you really wanted to end the relationship, the last thing you would want is for your ex to keep on harassing you IMHO. Personally, it would put me off even more. But then I imagine you know her better than most people, and it is up to you to make that judgement call at the end of the day mate.
 
I'd say move on.

39 isn't old, heck, you will be at your prime with the skill of 'wooing' the opposite sex by now :D If someone does not appreciate you the way you are, then it is time to move on. Be yourself, the thrill of the chase could well be yours again, it's the most fun part :)

I've been lucky and been happily married for four years now, but you need a mutual understanding of each other.

If this woman doesn't appreciate you, I'd take the opportunity to go and have some fun :). Strike up a conversation with someone you like, has there ever been someone you thought to yourself "What if things happened this way with her?" if so, call them :) find them, and enjoy for a little while :)
 
Games Guru said:
I understand totally where Razor is coming from, but imagine if you were her and you really wanted to end the relationship, the last thing you would want is for your ex to keep on harassing you IMHO. Personally, it would put me off even more. But then I imagine you know her better than most people, and it is up to you to make that judgement call at the end of the day mate.
I hear ya , but I asked her if she wanted us to stop speaking , she sais no
 
Give it up Neilo. From (bitter) experience, if she's saying it's over, then it is. Women, once they've made their mind up on a relationship, have already moved on in their heads. Theres still a chance if you noticed she's unhappy about things before the crunch, but if it's come out of the blue..........

Sorry to hear it's that serious, and hope I'm wrong, but it's well nigh impossible to talk em' round once the female mind is set. :(

As a last desperate move, have you tried to get her to see a MGC? If you're married that is? That sometimes buys you some time to lay on the wine and roses and follow that by talking it through.
 
Going through something similar at the moment, although it looks like there is light at the end of the tunnel I can offer the following:

1. You have to find out what is causing her to take this stance. As irrational it seems to you, it may be a very good reason to her.
2. Decide if it is worth it to you and keep making this decision all the time. It will keep things in perspective.
3. Talk but listen more. Don't argue whatever you do. Try for instance just to agree with everything she says through out one conversation.
4. Let her go. Tell her is she really wants to go and can't see any hope for the relationship, she should organise to go because you would prefer it if she is happy. Trust me this does make them think!!!
5. When she is willing to talk about things and starts asking you questions, be honest, both logically and emotionally.

Other than that, feel with you heart but don't let it ruin your life.

Good luck mate, these are hard situations.
 
I have to agree with Games Guru ... it sucks and I'm sure most of us here know how much. Sometimes it is really hard to let go, and you know what honestly you may never get over it who can tell. However it is all about how you choose to live your life - you can choose to keep chasing her and then when you don't get her back (and that is the most likely outcome) you will be even more upset then now. Cry weep howl at the moon whatever it takes for how ever long it takes, mourn the loss and all that but start resigning yourself to the fact it is over now, I'm not saying that is easy it will be tough but probably the best you could do for yourself. ..

Condolances but these things happen. Final aside she may have said she doesn't want you two to stop speaking but it also sounds like she has made it perfectly frankly clear that it is over - you can't hear one thing and not the other. As GG sais hassling won't help.
 
overkill said:
Give it up Neilo. From (bitter) experience, if she's saying it's over, then it is. Women, once they've made their mind up on a relationship, have already moved on in their heads. Theres still a chance if you noticed she's unhappy about things before the crunch, but if it's come out of the blue..........

Sorry to hear it's that serious, and hope I'm wrong, but it's well nigh impossible to talk em' round once the female mind is set. :(

As a last desperate move, have you tried to get her to see a MGC? If you're married that is? That sometimes buys you some time to lay on the wine and roses and follow that by talking it through.
Cheers Overkill
No we are not married ...Yup she is a stubborn one ..bl**dy infurriating it is
 
neilo said:
I hear ya , but I asked her if she wanted us to stop speaking , she sais no

The friends thing is hard after a break up. It's usually better to have a clean break, otherwise it makes things more difficult.
 
overkill said:
Give it up Neilo. From (bitter) experience, if she's saying it's over, then it is. Women, once they've made their mind up on a relationship, have already moved on in their heads.

Sorry overkill but your name comes to the forefront in this one.:)

Neilo, don't do it because of this. I understand where overkill is comming from but really don't listen because if a relationship is really important to you, you should fight for it just from an honesty with yourself point of view. If we just gave up on things that were really important to us???

Go for it, just keep in mind that your long term happyness is the most important thing.
 
colinwheeler said:
Sorry overkill but your name comes to the forefront in this one.:)

Neilo, don't do it because of this. I understand where overkill is comming from but really don't listen because if a relationship is really important to you, you should fight for it just from an honesty with yourself point of view. If we just gave up on things that were really important to us???

Go for it, just keep in mind that your long term happyness is the most important thing.
Cheers Colin
I have tried telling her to fight , its a stupid argument
 
neilo said:
Cheers Colin
I have tried telling her to fight , its a stupid argument

Yeah, I nearly f&(^ed everything up big time with mine like that, constantly harping on and it felt pathetic to me so imagine what it looked like to her. You just need to focus and be charismatic about the whole thing. Show them what made them fall for you in the first place and listen to what they are saying.

Back with the warning though, remember that you are trying to take care of yourself and your wellbeing here! Keep that in mind at all times and don't get into a situation where you are damaging yourself and her.
 
I guess the annoying thing is , she left her husband for me ..she gave all that up for me ....and is now willing to just throw this away after all the hassle we went through in the begining .. her family against it all from the start
 
In my experiance women always want what they cant have.

If there is truely no one else involved this is how I would play it.

I would give her a bit of space maybe a week or so, this will be very hard on you, but hopefully your missus will start to miss your friendship and companionship. Do not even phone her for a few days to a week, hopefully she will make first contact for what ever reason.

After that week I would talk to her, not pressure her but talk to her. Get yourself togeher and be strong. Maybe suggest a meal out or a date of sorts.
Talk about your problems and listen had to what she has to say. Be confident with in yourself this is important, a confident strong charater is more attractive than a weak one. Tell her that you love her etc and you dont want to loose her. At the same time tell her that you cant just be friends, its all or nothing. I do beleive if you are charming enough and persistant enough and there is no other party you can be successful. After all she fell for you before. This will take time Neilo and wont happen over night. Do not be weak around her, you can be sad but not weak if that makes sense.
 
Don't worry, there will be other things that annoy you about the situation too...never just 1!!!!!:)

In South African we used to say "Vasbyt" which means "bite hard" and refers to when a surgeon in the field used to make you to bite on a leather belt or something during a painful proceedure. Just persist through it try my advice.

Oh, and don't let it torture you all the time. Go out for a drink with some of your mates and just forget about it for a night.

Me and mine are hopefully going away in a week or two's time just to sit and talk for a while.
 

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