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Bad timekeeping.

BB3Lions

Distinguished Member
My holiday has been (to put it mildly) constantly disrupted by our friends who without fail turn up late. To the point I lost my temper quite aggressively last night & today it a put a right damper on the festivities.

Timekeeping/punctuality is not the quaint relic of a forgotten time. It is an obligation; a discipline of responsibility, respect and courtesy.

And the first step on the path to personal accountability is punctuality.

They missed the first flight out here & we wasted half a day there, we then had to cancel the next days plans to go pick them up. Every time we planned a meal, going out etc they would turn up 15/25 mins late.

I have to say 1945 assuming they'll get here for 2000hrs but yet they'll arrive at 2010 for example.

I have a temper but it never shows its ugly face but last night we were out & there son fell asleep so we said we will all go back & call it a night. We carried there son to a taxi whilst they finished the last dance. We waited outside at the taxi rank for 10mins, no show. I went back in & they'd disappeared. I sent the missus home in the taxi & I went looking, no joy

2 hours later they arrive at our apartment & I just lost total control, pretty badly to be frank & I have them whatsfor.

My wife understands my timekeeping and how important it is but she thinks I went OTT because they don't even wear watches..

Safe to say we won't be holidaying with them ever again, but what are people's perceptions on timekeeping?
 

johntheexpat

Distinguished Member
Organise things so you do what you do st the allotted time.
The taxi arrives at eight. So take it. If they aren't on board, they can look after themselves.
 

Jules Winfield

Prominent Member
People seem to be lacking manners more and more these days, and poor time-keeping is just one small part of that. Being self-absorbed is the name of the game, aided by social networks such as Twitter and Facebook that seduce you into posting pictures of your lunch and the badly-parked car outside your house.

I think you're doing the right thing by not going on holiday with them again. If they can't be considerate (I assume you're the hosts), why should you bother at all? Life's too short for idiots.

If they don't have watches (why?), I assume they still had a mobile phone with a (gasp!) clock on it. Yet they still failed to check the time. Sounds like they're taking you for granted. And did they think about their son at all? He could have been anywhere.
 

Desmo

Distinguished Member
If people annoy me I tend to avoid them. Keep life simple :)
 

BB3Lions

Distinguished Member
I agree to the taken for granted point you made, however my wife disagrees.

I mentioned it to her last night that they knew we would take the kids home & put them to bed. I was peeved off as its there son who fell asleep not ours & it should have been them going home whilst we stayed out to enjoy the evening.

We're setting off back home tomorrow evening & I truly cannot wait!

Downside is it ruined today as I've kept myself at a distance & my son saw me flip which he's never seen before (quite rightly) & it scared him - which again I'm upset about..

I just feel bad timekeeping means the other person either a. does not respect you & b. they think there time is more important than yours.

Meetings, doctors, school run, everything has a time that needs keeping too - even on holiday. If we say outside 0930 for the beach & they don't arrive till 0945 then we've lost 15mins playing on the beach waiting in the car.

Missus is really annoyed with me & this has flagged some issues too.
 

Trollslayer

Distinguished Member
It sounds like they are very self centred.
At some point I would tell them where to go.
 

BB3Lions

Distinguished Member
Do you not think (as my wife does) that we are on holiday & I should "just chill"?

I'm really wondering if I'm a stressed relic.!
 

Cobb

Distinguished Member
I have zero patience for people not being punctual. Certainly things can sometimes be out of a persons control and delays happen, but when it's a trait of theres it is something I loathe.
 

hippo99

Distinguished Member
It's not even just poor timekeeping is it though.

If someone is waiting in a taxi & you decide you're staying & not taking the taxi, at the very least you should call the person waiting & tell them (never mind that you're looking after their son).
It's a complete lack of courtesy towards others. Sounds like people with a certain sense of 'entitlement' in their behaviour.

If they had a baby sitter for the evening, they sound the type who'd decide to stay out all night, wouldn't bother calling the baby sitter & expect the baby sitter to stay all night looking after their baby without even checking the baby sitter is ok with it.
 

=adrian=

Distinguished Member
People seem to be lacking manners more and more these days, and poor time-keeping is just one small part of that. Being self-absorbed is the name of the game, aided by social networks such as Twitter and Facebook
I totally agree with this. I see more and more examples of this, especially in younger people (20+ and below) but not only, people that have absolutely no respect for anybody and think they are the center of the world. The only thing they are interested in is to post about themselves online and talk about themselves all day.

As for timekeeping, for me it is important. It is a matter of respect, if both sides agree to a certain time, both should respect the other side and be on time. How difficult is it. Worst case scenario, call in advance, apologise and reschedule the meeting - whether on holiday or in business.
It annoys me, because I always strive to be on time and hate to be late.
 

a l e x

Distinguished Member
Annoys me so much. If I say I'll be there at a certain time then I'll make sure I am. I usually ignore it once but if people mess me around each time then I quickly no longer bother arranging things with them!
 

Trollslayer

Distinguished Member
The odd occasion can be forgiven but what was described was plain selfish.
 

balidey

Distinguished Member
As others have said, its not so much the time keeping, but the terrible manners and taking the pee.
Best get them back, arrange to take them back to the airport, but disappear for 2 hours. See how they like it.
 

Pisto_Grih

Distinguished Member
I just feel bad timekeeping means the other person either a. does not respect you & b. they think there time is more important than yours.

This, basically.

(Exclusions apply: invites to parties are open-ended as far as I'm concerned, depending on the person inviting. Dinner party - arrive on time, drinks party - arrive later.)
 

fragdude

Prominent Member
I think you were right to say something, and the fact that you all agreed to call it a night as THERE kid was falling asleep, so you allowed them to have a last dance while you got the taxi organised, then they vanished for 2 hours, i say hats off to you for not sparking them out.

Had a friend just like this, always late, cancelled at last minute, i just stopped arranging things with him in the end.

only lesson to be learned is, dont let your kids see you like that.
 

imightbewrong

Distinguished Member
Sorry I'm late - can somebody catch me up?
 

Eric

Distinguished Member
Being late with a valid reason, taxi late etc.. No problem. Being late just because, I would also not be happy.
I would however, just go out and sod them!
 

BB3Lions

Distinguished Member
I would on occasion just go ahead walk the 1/2 mile into town and wait at the bar. Going to the beach etc was different as they were using our hire car & I'd be sitting in the car waiting..

I'm not one for confrontation but I would drop subtle hints. I need to conquer that part of my life tho.
 

Sloppy Bob

Distinguished Member
I had friends who were like that constantly. Eventually I refused to organise them and let them know their time wasn't more important then everyone else's.

We'd go for nights out and they'd not make it because I'd arranged everyone to be somewhere for Taxis or a lift and they wouldn't turn up on time. I didn't bother waiting, I didn't wait to order meals so when they turned up we were halfway through and we'd leave them when they were barely started.
They eventually accused me of ostracising them as I couldn't understand and didn't have kids. Cue 4 other couples we were out with who did have kids telling them they set themselves apart with their ignorant and selfish behaviour.

Never seen them again other than I occasionally see her doing the school run with the kids in the car, usually about 10 mins after schools started.
Life is too short to spend time with people who just annoy you, have no respect for you or your time.
 

PSM1

Distinguished Member
I am not the most punctual person but what they did that night is completely unacceptable. But as you have already said you need to find a way to confront this earlier in a direct but calm way. Subtle hints are not a good way to deal with this unfortunately.
 

BB3Lions

Distinguished Member
What did they have to say for themselves?

I've not spoken to them directly as I've kept myself locked away from pretty much the world today as I try & work out a few problems that arose from the wife & I arguing - but that's another story.

My wife's been with them today & apparently they left the bar, nipped to the toilet & didn't have money to get home so they had to walk.... Which is tosh, but it is what it is.

When I told the wife I walked home to calm down on the assumption they'd be back before me & it took about 35mins, she knows they're lying but she's worse than me for not wanting to confront people, so she just lets it go/doesn't back me up - which makes it worse.

I've sacrificed my Christmas Day & with that, taking my son to the beach as I promised, because of what happened last night. Its our last night here & although I spoke at length with my son last night & a few times today saying everything is ok. He knows that when I'm quiet & out of sight something is wrong, so home it is and away from these for good.

I feel terrible at the moment, my son's face last night was something that has cut me deep.
 

Trollslayer

Distinguished Member
:hug:
And "Sod 'em", their selfishness has hurt you and those around you.
 

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