Any advice...Care homes..?


Got an assessor coming around tomorrow to see my mother,regarding putting her into a has got to hard for me to look after her anymore,memory loss,falls..e.t.c....

Has anyone been in a similar situation,how hard was it to get a residental care home?

I am aware of the costs...but my mother comes under the threshold ,so,should get financial assistance ,is there any hidden costs to look out for?

Any advice would be great ....Thanks.....:)


Novice Member
The only advice I can offer, is that my great aunt was put into care, and you have to be very careful. The home she got put in wasn't very good, they left her soaked in her own urine, didn't brush her hair for her, and it was generally horrendous.

I am led to believe that the standard of NHS care homes is poor to say the least.
hi hun i actually work as a care assistant in a private care home for elderly and mentally infirm(senile dementia) after 17 years of working in the care sector i can honestly say i have only just found a residential home that i would consider to be a good place and that i would be happy to put one of my relatives into ... council or nhs homes tend to be more impersonal and more institutionalised than private homes and if you decide to put youur relative into a care situation please realise that their needs must come before your own and consider other options that are available i.e personal carers, is she requireing 24hr care does she only have mild memory loss or quite extensive does she have any terminal illnesses always check that they have experienced permanant staff and are not just run with agency workers .
how extensive are the activities ,menus ,private homes will let her take some of her personal furniture with her to make it more homely and if she goes into residential care you can always ask the other residents when viewing places what they think of their home etc if i can be of anymore help plz ask and i hope all goes well
pix xx


Thanks for that..good info,i will see how tomorrow goes and what they have to offer,good to be armed with some questions....thanks....:)


Novice Member
It's like anything, you need to see as many places as possible and personal recommendations count for a lot. Sometimes the better places have a waiting list.

Are there communal areas and is there anyone using them, that kind of thing.

Wherever you find it doesn't have to be permanent, you can put her on a waiting list for somewhere else or move her if she's not happy.


Distinguished Member
Hiya Pave.
Care homes as anything businesses. Making money is the objective weather its NHS COUNCIL or Private sector ( I would use the private sector as a very last resort) . Choose very carefully.
Ensure the case home has been inspected by C.S.A and READ THE REPORT. You are well within your rights to ask questions.
IS THE MANAGER registered with the CSCI?**** are they qualified top do the job etc.
ALSO ask if they have a 24 hour nurse available for emergencies ( if I'm not mistaken they must have a nurse on stand by) ask about the food are they given a menu?
Majority of private run care homes employ low wage unqualified staff. Ensure I.e visit and make they speak ENGLISH! if you cannot understand them how is your poor mom.
Are there any day outs any group excursions, in house bingo etc also ask if they HIRE OUT THE HALLS/MEETING ROOMS as then its a pain in the ass for residents.
Also ask what time is lock down ( see if your mom is happy with it etc).
Also ask if there is an onsite warden ( they have removed them now due to cost cutting) if there is what is their role sound stupid I know but you will be sorry if you don't.
Ask about medications, who will bring them to the "site" who is administer the medication again sounds stupid but if you have never seen medication before how are you going to administer it?( this rolls into the nurse issue I was ranting about.
If you need any further help ask.

****** .

My 2p worth.


Great,thanks....good timing....they will be here soon...:)


Distinguished Member
I don't have any experience I'm afraid, just wanted to say good luck - I can imagine this is a difficult time for you and your family.


Active Member
I have recently been though this process, I started by getting a list of all the homes in my area from the local Social Services, which provided the level of care required for my Mother, in her case it was EMI, (Elementary Mental Incapacity), I then phoned them all and asked if there was a place available, those that had, I visited and asked a lot of questions. I then decided on one, let the Social Services people know and they sorted out the paper work As my Mother lived outside my area, and she was in hospital, there were two lots of S.S. departments to deal with. It was all sorted in about four weeks and she is very content there, and as she is quite close to where I live I am now able to visit most days. There is about £21 left weekly from her pension after the Care Home fees, which is more than enough for the items which needs to be paid for, hairdressing etc. Good luck, and when you visit, do as I did, and pick the room you prefer, if you get a choice that is.


First of all thanks for all the advice and tips.....:thumbsup:

It went very well, mainly talking to my mum, I did not interfere too much, she could see what mental state my mother is in as they talked,i.e....the little girl she see's and a black labrador that comes into her room sometimes......:rolleyes:

There are a few homes locally and she is getting the ball rolling trying to find a placement, my mother is totally in agreement, so ,it does make the whole process easier, I have a list of homes and will be going to see a few this weekend,
So, it’s onto the next stage, I do feel sad, but it's the best for all concerned, I have had my mother living with me for 3 years now and it has become a real strain..still,I am sure she will be happy to be somewhere where she can have more contact during the day with people.........

She can be a stubborn old bird, but even she realises that it is best for all

Once again Thanks to everyone......:)
im so glad it went well and that your mum is happy with the situation one thing i will say is that when visiting these places sometimes they will let your mum stay for 2 or so days to see if she likes it and thinks she will settle which may be a good idea i have seen it all too often when some people cant cope anymore and put their loved ones into residential care and leave them with no visits and do make sure they have plenty of activities as there is nothing worse than being sat in front of a tv all day its so fraustrating for them anyway dinner calls
all the best
pix xx

Similar threads

The latest video from AVForums

Podcast: Panasonic HX800 TV + Sony HT-G700 Soundbar reviews, movie and TV show news and reviews
Top Bottom