Another joke thread- There were these two..

Stick a (stamp) hinge on it :)
 
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My wife and I went to the auction mart at Tralee the other week and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said,

'THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR'
My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs ......smiled and said, 'He mated 50 times last year, that's almost once a week.'
We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said,
''THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR'
My wife gave me a healthy jab and said, 'WOW~~That's more than twice a week ! ...........You could learn a lot from him.'
We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters,
'THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR
'My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, and said,
'That's once a day ..You could REALLY learn something from this one.'
I looked at her and said,
'Go over and ask him if every time was with the same old cow.'
My condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and I should eventually make a full recovery.
 
Well I'm not blond, but I did spend 30 odd of my 50-something years of life buying and using 'for dry hair' shampoo because my hair is naturally quite greasy. Until the wife started doing the shopping and collapsed in a heap of laughter once she'd sussed what I'd been doing...
 
If that's your biggest mistake you're doing OK.
 
Well I'm not blond, but I did spend 30 odd of my 50-something years of life buying and using 'for dry hair' shampoo because my hair is naturally quite greasy. Until the wife started doing the shopping and collapsed in a heap of laughter once she'd sussed what I'd been doing...

What a Himbo :laugh::rotfl:
 

Which reminds me of.....

....the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways aircraft, call sign Speedbird 206 - some years ago.

Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway."
Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven."
The BA aircraft pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.

Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"
Speedbird 206: "Stand by Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."
Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?"
Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark, -- And I didn't land."
 
No Friday joke tonight. Just a question.

This sentence contains exactly threee erors. What are they?

Have a great weekend.
 
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"If you don't pay, you will be shot."
 
I only asked a question :laugh:
 

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