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Another joke thread- There were these two..

smallieboy

Member
My son's school took them to the zoo today.

When he came home I said to him, "what was the zoo like, son?"

He answered despondently, " They only had one animal ................... it was a shih tzu"
 

imightbewrong

Distinguished Member
My son's school took them to the zoo today.

When he came home I said to him, "what was the zoo like, son?"

He answered despondently, " They only had one animal ................... it was a shih tzu"
Ahh - takes me back

I went to a zoo the other day but all they had was one dog....

It was a Shih Tzu! :D
I guess this zoo hasn't expanded over the years - a wonder it is still open.
 

sue_hall

Well-known Member
Don’t bother going to Dublin Zoo to see the tree frogs!

The lying feckers only have two..
 

jonna

Distinguished Member
My new girlfriend's car got a flat tyre as we were on our way to see my parents, so I called them up and said, "Sorry Mum, I'm going to be late, my girlfriend's got a puncture."
"Oh Danny”she sighed. "I thought you had a real one this time!"
 
Last edited:

imightbewrong

Distinguished Member
When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it's fully groan.
 

deans6571

Member
There is a beautiful desert island in the middle of nowhere where the following people are stranded:

2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
2 French men and 1 French woman
2 German men and 1 German woman
2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
2 English men and 1 English woman
2 Macedonian men and 1 Macedonian woman.

One month later on this beautiful desert island in the middle of nowhere...

The first Italian man killed the other for the Italian woman.
The 2 French men and the French woman are living happily together in a "menage a trois".
The 2 German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they alternate with the German woman.
The 2 Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.
The 2 English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.
The Macedonian men took one look at the endless ocean, one look at the Macedonian woman and started swimming
;)
 

maxwell

Distinguished Member
Three men, a Scouser, a Manc and a Rasta all in the maternity ward waiting for their partners to give birth. The midwife comes out and tells them congratulations, they're all fathers of beautiful healthy boys, however unfortunately they've run out of the name tags, and the babies have been mixed up, so if they could each go in and identify their sons from any family resemblance etc. The Manc wants to go first, so in he goes and comes out with a black baby The Rasta looks a bit confused, "excuse me", he said, "but don't you think he's likely to be mine ?" "Probably", said the Manc, "but one of them in there's a scouser, and I'm takin' no chances !!!!!"
 

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