Another joke thread- There were these two..


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my g/f says that having a small penis doesnt affect our sex life, to be honest, i just wish she didnt have one at all....:D


Just heard there was an explosion at a pie factory in Huddersfield. 3.1415927 dead.


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I once took a piece of rubber from the from U2 who were playing in our gym, and they wouldn't let me back.

I was banned from the gym for taking a band from a band from the gym.

BT Bob

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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who understand binary, and those who don't.
Gyms, nursing homes... Who cares? It's Friday................ :)

A little old lady was going up and down the halls in a nursing home.

As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say


She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair, flipping her gown at him.

She said, “Supersex.”

He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, “I'll take the soup.”

And it gets worse...........................................

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car. Both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The traffic light was red, but they just went on through.

The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, 'I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light.'

After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the traffic light was red.

Again, they went right through! The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting very, very nervous.

At the next intersection, sure enough, the traffic light was again on red and yet again, they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman and said, “Sallie, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row?
You could have killed us both!”

Sallie turned to her and said, “Oh, ****! Am I driving?"


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Got an autograph from a very famous guy today.

He was stood inbetween two houses with a large stack of meat on his head, I asked him his name & he said if I place some extra meat on top of his head, he would give me his name.

So I placed a little bit more & he told me his name was Mohammed Ali.


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That is horrendous.

Your joke is too bad for a bad joke thread...

After that incident they refused to let bands have bands anymore and this band became knows as the banned band band band.


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I got stopped by the police last night whilst driving my car, accused me of drink driving. I refused a breath test so they took me to the police station where I again refused a breath test and blood test.

Eventually gave them a urine sample. Managed to see the open door so grabbed the sample and legged it but they managed to catch, now being charged with taking the p1ss...


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The finest use of the English language in this thread was the reference to 'horrendous'



Active Member
I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted,
"Oi you! What's your disability?" :mad:

I said, "Tourettes!! Now f:censored: off you c:censored:!!" :devil: **Twitch** :p:smashin:


Always chuckle at that one. :blush:

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