Annoying Neighbours anyone? Part II

If we assume they are cowering in fear and confusion, yes, they are worthy of pity, anyone is.

Alcohol fuelled rage and anger leading to self harm is perhaps different.

Any attempt at suicide has to be taken in context, many people do so without having been a monster in the community, they certainly need our sympathy.

I totally agree. It is about reason, tolerance, proportion and context.

What I am arguing about is the seeming attitude that because a person has done something that there should never be any room for compassion, sympathy and pity. In fact it seems many think that people should even wish them dead. I contend that in many cases there should be such compassion and whilst you may not shed a tear if they die to wish it and even revel in it is just reprehensible.

If she had died I can understand the attitude thank god it's over but it's a shame that it had to be over due to her death. What I can't understand is the attitude of thank god she is dead it is about time.

I am afraid I get more a sense of the latter response than the former in some of the posts.

Cheers,

Tony.
 
Busy here tonight.
FYI I would assist and give encouragement if my neighbour was goin to top herself. Unfortunately I doubt that will happen. I rarely have such luck.

Without fully understanding the background, the causes and the effects I think that is an appalling attitude and response to take. To consider it lucky if the situation was resolved is one thing but to consider it lucky that it is resolved in such a way is terrible.

It is almost as if given the option of her moving out or her taking her own life you would prefer the latter. Please feel free to correct me if I have misinterpreted your desires.

Cheers,

Tony.
 
Without fully understanding the background, the causes and the effects I think that is an appalling attitude and response to take. To consider it lucky if the situation was resolved is one thing but to consider it lucky that it is resolved in such a way is terrible.

It is almost as if given the option of her moving out or her taking her own life you would prefer the latter. Please feel free to correct me if I have misinterpreted your desires.

Cheers,

Tony.

Our neighbour is responsible for the death of our unborn child, we blame her due to the stressful situation she's caused. Breakdown in our relationship. On anti depressants and now off work because of this woman. I am now £5000 out of pocket because of that and wonder how the hell I'm going to pay next month's bills and mortgage. While this dole sponging druggie has no cares or worries in the world and can sit at home and not need to think about working cos everything is served on a plate. So forgive me if I hope she dies in the worst possible way is wrong of me. I would certainly be able to sleep better at night if she was 6 foot under.

The council won't move her
 
Our neighbour is responsible for the death of our unborn child, we blame her due to the stressful situation she's caused. Breakdown in our relationship. On anti depressants and now off work because of this woman. I am now £5000 out of pocket because of that and wonder how the hell I'm going to pay next month's bills and mortgage. While this dole sponging druggie has no cares or worries in the world and can sit at home and not need to think about working cos everything is served on a plate. So forgive me if I hope she dies in the worst possible way is wrong of me. I would certainly be able to sleep better at night if she was 6 foot under.

The council won't move her

And I am sorry for everything that has happened to you and sympathise with your plight.

However it is not fair nor right for me to respond to you other than to say the world isn't as black and white as you seem to have painted it.

I only hope that in time you are shown to be the better person.

Cheers,

Tony.
 
If she moves out she is just someone else's problem, I wouldn't wish some of these people on anyone else.

Exactly. So what is the solution? Is death a proportionate, fair and just response?

Does anybody know why she is the way she is and how her life seems to her? Is it wrong to wonder and display some sense of caring?

I don't contend any of the above. What I do say however is assuming death is a fair, proportionate and justifiable outcome that it does not mean as a human being that I can't display humanity with compassion as I am swinging the axe rather than revelling in her death.

Have we all become so cold and detached from what it is to be human? Is there no merit in what we have become?

There really is more here to discuss than this thread can address but the answers do seem to come very easy to some people.

Cheers,

Tony.
 
I see myself as the better person. We have gone down the official route to sort this woman out instead of retaliation. 4 years on and not a thing has changed. Which proves that being the bigger man and going about things the right way doesn't always work as she gets to continue with her selfish ways while we have to suffer and nothing gets done.
 
Well I'm certainly not going to cry or give any sympathy to someone who tries to take their own life after making other people's lives hell just because they are unhappy with their own lot.
 
I see myself as the better person. We have gone down the official route to sort this woman out instead of retaliation. 4 years on and not a thing has changed. Which proves that being the bigger man and going about things the right way doesn't always work as she gets to continue with her selfish ways while we have to suffer and nothing gets done.

Is it really a surprise to you that it doesn't always work? Of course things have changed. You have said as much yourself although it seemingly has all been for the worse. Where does responsibility and culpability lie? What role does the system and wider society have in this?

Do you feel that she deserves to die and that it would be acceptable to you if it was directly or indirectly as a result of your hand? If she could spend the rest of her life alone on an island or be killed would you rather the former, the latter or wouldn't you care either way? Does your answer depend on what you perceive she has done to you?

Cheers,

Tony.
 
Well I'm certainly not going to cry or give any sympathy to someone who tries to take their own life after making other people's lives hell just because they are unhappy with their own lot.

I can understand you not crying. But really to categorically show no sympathy at all for what her life must have been like to reach such ends? I would say that to think that people would genuinely try to take their own life simply because they are unhappy is ignorant and in almost all cases incorrect if they are a balanced and rational individual. Not that we know this was genuine attempt and not a cry for attention or that she is indeed balanced and rational.

Cheers,

Tony.
 
What a silly question.

Not at all. Yes it has an obvious answer, in fact you could argue that there can only ever be one answer to such a question, but the answer makes a point that people seemingly fail to be able to grasp.

The only silly thing is your response. A obvious answer isn't indicative of a silly question especially when it has a point that you have missed.

Cheers,

Tony.
 
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I have better things to worry about. She's ruined our lives and the life of her child that was taken into care last year. She's a drain to society and contributes nothing but pain and anguish to others with no remorse what so ever. We would be better off and the country would stop paying for another oxygen theif
 
I am sure you do. As do I. Is that the extent of your compassion? Do you have so little?

She may be. Is that for you to decide? Maybe it is or maybe it should be.

This obviously isn't going anywhere and being so emotive isn't going to end well. You all have my sympathies and that is all I have to say about that.

Off to open some wine and watch a film.

Cheers,

Tony.
 
I am truly finding it difficult to understand how you expect someone to show compassion to something that has caused so much grief :confused:

He'll be saying we should show compassion to Hitler next because the poor guy took his own life, and we don't understand from his own perspective the plight that he was in.

;)
 
I am truly finding it difficult to understand how you expect someone to show compassion to something that has caused so much grief :confused:

Because some people really aren't fully responsible for their own actions. There are, through no fault of their own, many mentally ill and psychologically unstable people out there that cause grief to their neighbours and no matter how much you hate what they do, surely, a well adjusted person should be able to feel sympathy, even a little, for the reasons behind why they do it.

Yes, there are hateful people that do things just because they can but in my experience, most of the chronic trouble makers I've heard of, seem to do it because of deep seated psychological issues and/or substance addiction. Now, this may not make it any easier to live next to them, or make you want to hug them and sing kumbya around a camp fire with them, but it should at least allow you to feel sympathy because of the why.

My father lived next door to a maniac. A mid 30's, 4 kids by different fathers, drug and alcohol abusing, thief and party slag. She tried to make his life hell. She used to have gangs - up to 10 of them - of 20-something guys hanging around outside her house,. She was banging some of them in turn and talking crap in their ears. They, at her bidding tried to steal things from my fathers garden and vandalize it. My father being the awesome 70-something dude he was back then, just opened the door and let the dog out. This happened several times over a period; at the very least 2 guys were sent to hospital bleeding profusely with bites to their legs and another lost a finger. That was nothing to the young guy that knocked on my then 74-year old father's door, pushed him to the ground and climbed on top of him to give him a beating until the dog bit off the end of his nose. Of course, each time the police would threaten my father with action, especially when the dog was involved - all they managed over the years was to confiscate a hammer he kept by the door, "just in case". lol

Was my father a whinging, self pitying nervous wreck that ate too much to make himself feel better after years of crap like that and more besides? No, he wasn't. He used to phone me several times a week with a laugh in his voice about the latest goings on and "incidents" involving the neighbour. But he kept plugging away at the police, the council and the housing association until eventually they, after 6 years or so, got her moved. And he always, always stated that he felt sorry for her and her kids.

If people are making your life such a hell. Move. If you lose money in the process, tough. Life is too short. If you think you are letting them "win" by moving, don't be silly; they lost a long time ago by becoming the people they are. Don't let their illness infect your life too. Move. Move. Move. Or, do as my father did, change your attitude and stop caring about what they do. You don't have to like it, but you don't have to let it eat at you and destroy your life either.

FWIW, I heard that the maniac neighbour killed herself some time afterwards and my father felt sorry for her still.
 
He'll be saying we should show compassion to Hitler next because the poor guy took his own life, and we don't understand from his own perspective the plight that he was in.

;)

Pathetic. I had expected such a post but hoped that people on here were better than that. You have really let yourself down.

Cheers,

Tony.
 
If people are making your life such a hell. Move. If you lose money in the process, tough. Life is too short. If you think you are letting them "win" by moving, don't be silly; they lost a long time ago by becoming the people they are. Don't let their illness infect your life too. Move. Move. Move.

If you have had problems with neighbors do you still need to declare it? I know previously if you didn't the new owners can sue the previous owners.
 
I don't know whether kevy has tested the waters at all, but there is a good chance that, with its history, his property is pretty much unsellable :thumbsdow

I'd be tempted to leave the key at the desk of the mortgage holder and walk away...
 
I don't know whether kevy has tested the waters at all, but there is a good chance that, with its history, his property is pretty much unsellable :thumbsdow

I'd be tempted to leave the key at the desk of the mortgage holder and walk away...

When i had trouble I couldn't sell my house so I took just under a 20% drop in value, which was pretty much all my equity, and part exchanged it with a large national builder. Not ideal but I was just glad for some peace.

Cheers,

Tony.
 
When i had trouble I couldn't sell my house so I took just under a 20% drop in value, which was pretty much all my equity, and part exchanged it with a large national builder. Not ideal but I was just glad for some peace.

Cheers,

Tony.

And therefore inflicted the nuisance on someone else , I thought you were one for helping people etc .....
 
And therefore inflicted the nuisance on someone else , I thought you were one for helping people etc .....

Don't be so stupid.

I have never advocated helping anyone in this thread so stop putting words in people's mouths. I merely suggested that people could show sympathy in the face of adversity. I inflicted nothing on anybody. I am not, was not, and will never be responsible for the actions of others. To suggest otherwise is specious, flawed and just incorrect.

I am however curious as to what you would suggest I had done instead.

Cheers,

Tony.
 

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