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Always Seem To Be The Bad Guy

Solomon Grundy

Distinguished Member
Morning...why is it that people can't seem to have a conversation these days and accept when they are messing up?

Neighbour hires some guy to come and clean his car and caravan on his driveway. The guy proceeds to Foam everything up and power wash it all over my garden, plants and trees covered in foam and muck and salt from the road.

Went out to ask him to spray in the other direction away from my stuff. Asked extremely politely and friendly, no confrontation from my side. He apologises and changes his work to the other direction. I get back inside and can now hear from the open window this guy calling me all the names he can think of and swearing with the neighbour who is basically agreeing with him...

What's wrong with people???
 

Dwayne Dibley

Well-known Member
this guy calling me all the names he can think of and swearing with the neighbour who is basically agreeing with him...
Obviously I don't know your neighbour and your relationship with him, BUT maybe your neighbour is "agreeing" with him to pacify him?
 

Solomon Grundy

Distinguished Member
Obviously I don't know your neighbour and your relationship with him, BUT maybe your neighbour is "agreeing" with him to pacify him?
Nah they were saying when we built our fence down the side of the house (at their request, by the way) the workmen left muddy boot prints on their driveway so im a "two-faced arsehole" apparently.
 

Dwayne Dibley

Well-known Member
That is so sad. Why are people so nasty. I despair sometimes.

Anyway chin up. In the words of Bono .... "Don't let the barstewards grind you down"!
 

ssbib

Well-known Member
There’s no consideration. Let him moan about you, at least he listened and moved his spraying to the other direction. Thank goodness he didn’t give you any direct grief. It’s a shame that you had to have that word with him to begin with though.
 

richp007

Distinguished Member
You're a better man than me as I would have been back out to confront him like a shot.

I doff my cap to you for keeping your cool.
 

mitchec1

Distinguished Member
Tbh reading this for the op, life's too short to really give a **** what your neighbor thinks/says.

Drink a beer, go for a walk and avoid the politics section on here you'll feel better.
 

shodan

Distinguished Member
Morning...why is it that people can't seem to have a conversation these days and accept when they are messing up?

Neighbour hires some guy to come and clean his car and caravan on his driveway. The guy proceeds to Foam everything up and power wash it all over my garden, plants and trees covered in foam and muck and salt from the road.

Went out to ask him to spray in the other direction away from my stuff. Asked extremely politely and friendly, no confrontation from my side. He apologises and changes his work to the other direction. I get back inside and can now hear from the open window this guy calling me all the names he can think of and swearing with the neighbour who is basically agreeing with him...

What's wrong with people???
Why the hell are your windows open in this weather!!! :rotfl:
The bit I've put in bold is because after nearly 20 years of professionally listening to people talking about their problems, I've learned that when one person says they asked someone something politely/friendly/nicely/respectfully it is very often not received that way. Please note, I'm not saying you spoke to the man in any other way other than what you are saying, but offence is taken, not received so you may think you were extremely polite but it wasn't received that way.

Tell you what, have a search through this site alone for threads where someone has gone to remonstrate with someone politely/friendly/nicely/respectfully and see that the point of the post is to talk about a recent problem or argument they got themselves in as a result of it.
 

IronGiant

Moderator
I disagree :devil: :D

(We used to have one but it was misused to antagonise people)
 

safcalibur

Distinguished Member
just to be clear - i dont find your post useful but wanted to see if you could get a full set of emoji's along the bottom of your post :D
I just gave him a thanks all he needs now is a sad and we’ve got a full house!!
 

Solomon Grundy

Distinguished Member
Why the hell are your windows open in this weather!!! :rotfl:
The bit I've put in bold is because after nearly 20 years of professionally listening to people talking about their problems, I've learned that when one person says they asked someone something politely/friendly/nicely/respectfully it is very often not received that way. Please note, I'm not saying you spoke to the man in any other way other than what you are saying, but offence is taken, not received so you may think you were extremely polite but it wasn't received that way.

Tell you what, have a search through this site alone for threads where someone has gone to remonstrate with someone politely/friendly/nicely/respectfully and see that the point of the post is to talk about a recent problem or argument they got themselves in as a result of it.
You're right. I was more worried about being nice about it than I was to tell him to stop spraying stuff over the garden. Maybe me being polite about it gives them currency to be mean and if I went out screaming "what the eff are you doing..." they would back down...like an alpha male thing?
 

safcalibur

Distinguished Member
He may have been annoyed with himself but he was just taking it out on you so nothing personal. People don’t like to be corrected most of the time especially when they are doing their job, it’s like one of the few things you should be good at and not make rookie mistakes. Maybe that’s what he did and it took for you to point it out to him rather than him realising himself so he got mad at himself but directed hat anger towards you?

Sure it’s nothing personal though mate, still not nice to hear such things.

Thanks

Saf
 
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IronGiant

Moderator
sadded, for humour only :smashin:

Edit: Seriously though, is it the images you don't like?
 

shodan

Distinguished Member
You're right. I was more worried about being nice about it than I was to tell him to stop spraying stuff over the garden. Maybe me being polite about it gives them currency to be mean and if I went out screaming "what the eff are you doing..." they would back down...like an alpha male thing?
Or you could just learn how to talk to people and not go from to extremes or be sarcastic.
Your reply makes me doubt your "extremely politely" and non confrontational even more! 😂
 

Doug the D

Distinguished Member
I've learned that when one person says they asked someone something politely/friendly/nicely/respectfully it is very often not received that way.
This resonates with me a lot. I had a run-in with a neighbour over her dog barking about a year/ 18 months ago. As far as I'm concerned, I still believe on reflection that I remained polite when I asked her to stop her dog barking.
My wife however, having known me for 23 years puts a different spin on such situations. I am a fairly big guy and have been known to sport a 'resting bastard face' (in my loving wife's words). I frown an awful lot, 90% through concentration alone though, but it does mean that unless I'm giving you a big grin or actually laughing, then I can probably come across as a bit surly or intimidating, even if I don't feel that way.

Couple this general air of Victor Meldrew with a genuinely polite and friendly request to stop your dog barking could definitely be seen by the recipient as anything but friendly or polite, I fully acknowledge.

The bloke in his 20's that she sent to my house afterwards to confront me about my 'angry, agressive shouting' and using the F-bomb got a completely different experience though. He got the full-on 'Dad, here's my new boyfriend' frown.

More efficient, less polite words were used with him.
 

leamspaceman

Distinguished Member
I get back inside and can now hear from the open window this guy calling me all the names he can think of and swearing with the neighbour who is basically agreeing with him...

What's wrong with people???
When you went back in, maybe you closed your front door too loudly?
 
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leamspaceman

Distinguished Member
I think there's more to this.

I think there must be some history here.

I think there's something you're not telling us.

Oh wait...

Nah they were saying when we built our fence down the side of the house (at their request, by the way) the workmen left muddy boot prints on their driveway so im a "two-faced arsehole" apparently.
 

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