Alcohol at 14y party

Discussion in 'Parents Forum' started by springtide, Jul 2, 2018.

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  1. springtide

    springtide
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    I'm separated (not that it matters), but my ex has just mentioned that my daughter has been invited to a party at where the mum hosting it has stated there will be alcohol there.

    My daughter only turned 14y a couple of weeks ago and it seems a bit young.

    It's seems only 6 girls and the mum will be there, so risk is probably not high for things to go wrong, but I kind of disagree more in principle than anything else.

    My ex is on the same page as me. I think 15 would have been what I thought was the youngest age they should be introduced.

    I've not seen the invitation, so don't know what has been fully stated.

    Anyone with opinions? My daughter has said she is happy to not drink if that is what's needed to let her go.
     
  2. IronGiant

    IronGiant
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    14, bloody hell... why? :eek:

    I'm with your and your ex- on this, far too young.

    How many of the six going need alcohol to be there :eek:

    Having said that, if you trust the mother organising it, if your daughter can attend and not drink, is there any reason she shouldn't attend?
     
  3. springtide

    springtide
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    I don't know the parent, but I don't understand the need for alcohol to be there in the first place... it's not clear whether it was driven by the child or the mum thought it was cool.
    My daughter said, lots of the kids her age go down to the park and smoke pot, and she has been invited to join them, but has said no.

    My gut feeling is she should go, and maybe say she can either (a) not drink or (b) have one drink. It's a school night, so assume it's not going to be a big bash
     
  4. IronGiant

    IronGiant
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    My 16 year old just attended her "prom" (shudder). She met up at a friends house nearby where six or seven of them met up to get ready and do their hair and make up, (all girls ). The hosts had laid on bucks fizz, both alcoholic and non, but very discreetly, and hardly any went for the alcohol. A lot of young adults around here don't drink. None of mine do (bad example ? :blush:)
     
  5. busterbenny2001

    busterbenny2001
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    Totally agree with the big no at 14, a 15 year old died in the village 2 weeks ago suspected drugs, kids need to be kids so much time for booze and the likes later.
     
  6. Bl4ckGryph0n

    Bl4ckGryph0n
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    We've been allowing our children a sip of alcohol from a very young age. Sometimes they want to sometimes they don't. Their choice under our supervision. Our thinking is that it doesn't become a naughty thing to do, something they don't have to use in secret, something that is normalised and not binged. A bit like the rest of the European countries.

    But as IronGiant says, they hardly ever go for it despite plenty of opportunity.

    To me this is all about how well you know the supervising adult, if they are as sensible as you are then I see no problem. But if you don't know them, and have no idea what they are like I'd be more concerned. Saying that, they are 14 and only six girls staying in one location. Trust your daughter ;)
     
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  7. Davidc7230

    Davidc7230
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    Personally,

    Growing up I got drunk for the first time at 14/15 at a friends BBQ that his mum was hosting. At that age we used to sneak out a few beers in the Summer or club together to get a case of carling from the offie, my parents allowed us (me and sister) to have a drink at family do's etc. Their attitude was that by the time we were 18 and legal to drink, it wouldn't be this new thing that we'd abuse. Infact for me when I turned 18 and didn't have to sneak into bars and clubs drinking lost alot of it's fun.

    That being said, I was reading somewhere that todays teenagers are miles more sensible than my generation, with a large majority who were surveyed, abstain from drink and drugs and getting knocked up at 16 to chase education and a career.
     
  8. A.I.

    A.I.
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    Party is likely over by now but if not -

    Underage drinking has been a part of life for ever but more recently most sensible kids prefer to steer clear. She won't be the only one standing out for the right reasons.

    Trust your daughter.
     
  9. gavinl1967

    gavinl1967
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    What was the final outcome of this? We have a 14 year old (boy) and would be interested to hear what happened, if anything? Our boy has been at a couple of party's over the last year, but I don't believe any alchohol was present and he certainly didn't smell of beer when we picked him up.

    To be honest, he has shown zero interest in anything alchoholic any time we have offered him a 'tatse'. He tried a shandy when on holiday last year, but left 95% of it.
     

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