i've read this over the past couple of days, wanting to offer help, but wondering what to say. it's obviously a very difficult situation you are in. it's pretty much a case of in for a penny, in for a pound, as you are selling up and relocating for this job, so it's not a simple case of if it doesn't work out in 3 or 6 months she can get another job. even then, leaving a permanent contract after such a short period of time doesn't usually look good on a CV, particularly not if you are looking for reasonably high up jobs, well paid jobs, or jobs where long term comittment is sought. sure, many people might disagree with that, but if say 50% of recruiters thought that way, it greatly reduces chances of employment elsewhere
the other thing that makes the situation difficult is the heirarchy of the business. i get the impression there is no proper HR department/setup, so no formal greivance procedure is in place, and even then, if the boss is an owner or major shareholder, they will likely have the power and influence to overrule any normal procedure and decision if a formal complaint was to be made
now strangely enough, that could work to your benefit...
due to the short period of time your wife has been employed so far, it's not that difficult or costly to terminate her employment this far in, without her being able to do much about it. the reason i mention this is because an attempt to discuss the issue with the boss in question could result in him wanting to terminate her employment. some bosses have the opinion that they pay £xK PA and they expect people to work without complaint for the money, as they are paid well enough to do it, and they will get someone else to do it if you won't. now regardless of your thoughts on that, those people still exist, and this guy could well fit that profile.
you don't mention examples of what he has done that you or your wife don't like. the thing is, people have different thresholds and ideas of what they consider aggressive or bullying. whilst you say your wife enountered people in the past that she considered rude or agressive, other people might not have shared the same views. i've worked in a few different workplaces, and what could be considered the norm in one environment (such as a factory floor), would be considered rude in another, and on the other hand, the lack of forcefulness in some environments might not get the job done, or be what bosses are looking for, as not every company is that interested friendliness, the intention of most companies is to make a profit after all. using myself as an example, most people in my organisation are so damn nice, that if i don't write "could you pretty please with sugar on the top, possibly just"... (do your ****ing job like your supposed to!) and preceed it with a load of crap like "i hope you had a fantastic weekend, isn't the weather lovely, the daisies look fantastic in the garden", then even though i fill my request with please and thankyou's and offer any help to them, i'm considered rude and agressive by some, as i ask for requests in what i believe would be considered a professional and formal manner in most work environments, and even polite in most places i've worked for (as i have to bear in mind that most of the people i deal with have fragile personalities, so i water things down).
now if the guy isn't personally rude, agressive, etc towards your wife, it's probably best to let it slide. if it is particularly bad and aimed personally at your wife to the degree where she simply can't stand the situation, she should make note of the issues and the dates/times, and if they occur frequently, to the state where she can no longer stand her job, she should seek advise from the likes of ACAS or CAB, as it might then be a case where she has to take official action, which under the circumstances of him being an owner, would likely be along the lines of resigning and claiming unfair dismissal, however the rules of those claims have changed to make it harder to claim, and there are specific steps and actions you have to follow in order to make your claim stick. IF successful, if all the appropriate steps are followed correctly (and make sure advise is taken to ensure this is the case), your wive COULD be awarded favourably, moreso under the situation that you have both relocated, etc. but of course this is a final straw situation, as again it can prove difficult to regain further employment if your prospective employers are aware that the previous job ended in a disciplinary tribunal. of course it shouldn't, and recruiters wouldn't admit to it going on, but trust me it happens. bosses don't want to take risks. personally, i wouldn't want to take that risk in employing someone who didn't like the last job so much they took them to a tribunal, just in case they don't like working for me and do the same to me. tribunals can be won or lost on technicalities, so no matter how much i think i toe the line, a simple mistake could be costly to the employer
so basically, you are left with 2 main options, stick with it, your wife bites her tongue and puts up with things to see if they improve (as someone else points out, the guy could just be going thru a bad time - asking some others she might find out if thats the case), or the other option is to break things off now, get her to leave the job and don't sell the house and stay where you are. a big hard decision, but if you really think it's not going to work out, now is maybe the best time to pull the plug, otherwise things might get ugly
hopefully things will work out fine. sorry to sound so negative above, but i'm just trying to be helpful. i reckon stick it out a year and see how things go with the new job, but it's not my decision