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A tosspot writes...

Discussion in 'Music & Music Streaming Services' started by the_pauley, May 19, 2005.

  1. the_pauley

    the_pauley
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    :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
    Just stumbled on this while on Amazon.

    Funniest thing I have read in ages. Check out his reviews for "Sgt Pepper", "Pet Sounds" and Blonde On Blonde".

    The reviews of "Fight Club" and "2001" are a hoot too.

    Note how in the header he describes himself as a "Teenage Genious" - while failing to spell the word "genius" correctly. :suicide:

    The entire downside of The Internet condensed into three glorious pages!

    :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
     
  2. Miyazaki

    Miyazaki
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    He is obviously a wind-up merchant.
     
  3. Miyazaki

    Miyazaki
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    He gave ***** to 'Kangaroo Jack' :rotfl:
     
  4. the_pauley

    the_pauley
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    My impression at first, but after having read everything on there I'm not so sure.

    He's American, a teenager and he's on The Internet. How scary is that? :eek:
     
  5. Mroizouk

    Mroizouk
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    What a ja-fool.

    I like how he puts "later." at the end of each verbal excretion like he's got a fanbase who are waiting to see what he'll write next!

    nice stumble, the-pauley
     
  6. Mroizouk

    Mroizouk
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    haha, and here's us reading it! :rotfl:
     
  7. the_pauley

    the_pauley
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    I'm his Number One fan... :devil:
     
  8. Kenny Glasgow

    Kenny Glasgow
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    His review of 2001 is a must read :eek: :rotfl:
     
  9. Marc

    Marc
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    love the review of fight club..

    "Anyways, if I were you I would only get this DVD to fast forward to all the great fighting, skip all of the long talking parts, and all parts with the girl because they will bore you to death."

    by 'long talking parts' i assume he means the plot?
     
  10. Mroizouk

    Mroizouk
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    Yeah, Fight Club really is marred by all the over-complicated scenes of characters talking . If this sage reviewer can't make out the dull talking parts, what hope is there for the rest of us?


    Gotta love this comment from the Donnie Darko director's cut review:

    Is he suggesting Donnie should have been played by Patrick Swayze? :rotfl:

    I'll be looking out for this guy in future. Cracking! :thumbsup:
     
  11. Marc

    Marc
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    get the feeling he missed the point? donnie was meant to me dreary as he was depressed and on all kinds of meds, and who the heck did jake gyllenhall play in spiderman?
     
  12. manny

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    genius-sorry genious!!! i haven't read them all yet, but yes, he's obviously a bit of a comedian. he reviewed a lawnmower for god's sake!! nice to see someone taking the whole review thing to it's true level of meaninglesness (is that a word?).
    the sad thing is, the real middle-american teenagers who will read them and take them seriously...and yes, the uk, and the rest of the world, has middle american teenagers now. lars von trier isn't wrong (on that anyway).
     
  13. manny

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    you gotta read his finding nemo review, i'll never see it again without thinking "filet o' fish", bwah ha ha...
     
  14. bowenjones

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    Well, a total of 63 people thought he was helpful ......


    out of 540!!!!
    I think he's after Paul Ross' job!
     
  15. the_pauley

    the_pauley
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    I've been reading again and I've changed my mind. I think it's a spoof.

    Too articulate at times for one so inarticulate at other times.

    We could be in at the birth of a cult figure. :)

    Or maybe it's real... :confused:

    I dunno.
     
  16. Mroizouk

    Mroizouk
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    LOL

    It does all seem a bit tongue-in-cheek...





    This guy is ridiculous! I think you're right, the-pauley about him being suspiciously eloquent at times. Nary a spelling mistake either, which I'd definately expect given some of the sh*te he comes out with!

    Probably some bored college kids. I guess it would be funnier still if it was a genuine guy though! :)
     
  17. AgentCool

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    I don't care if this kid is for real or not, the fact is that he is clearly a complete ******. Having read some of his reviews, I feel like throwing up all over him like the kid does in the 'Finding Nemo' review. He claims to be a genius but cannot spell or even get his facts right. He seems to think 'Nemo' is meant to be realistic and thinks the characters are puppets. He also thinks that Jake Gyllenhall was in Spider-Man.

    This kid should be put down.
     
  18. the_pauley

    the_pauley
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    Getting the distinct feeling this isn't a kid at all.

    If he's not for real then all of mistakes and thicko attitude will all be part of the act.

    If it's a spoof then it's a very good one and great fun. If it's not, then it's very scary and even more fun! :smashin:

    Loved the "Sgt Pepper" review where he wondered if they'd made the album after Lennon had died, and failed to see the name "The Beatles" on the front of the sleeve! :rotfl:
     
  19. Buck Swope

    Buck Swope
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    on Donnie Darko:

    Pure. Comedic. Genious!!! :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
     
  20. goodtimes

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    this guy/girl doesnt read like a kid some words he chooses just dont sound like a kids mentality.
    I love him he/she, Im out for all the entertainent I can get these days.
    On a bit more sober note I really find it hard to choose new music based on music reviews I read on amazon, I always look at the reviewers history and try to make a judgment on the reviewer than on the cd/dvd. They dont give a definative score on SQ or Video Q you dont know if they really know.
    Ive seen some real crap reviews on some products from reviewers who dont understand the music they are reviewing
    Perhaps this person is taking the mickey out of all of those reviewers after all who would give 1 star on a cd they hadnt even heard.

    Im his no2 fan
    I hope he will do a review on ROTS when its out on DVD
     
  21. Mep

    Mep
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    he is clearly a comedian...don't get upset people (he doesn't really think the fish are puppets or that the talking in fight club ruins it... :rolleyes: !)...I expect his plan is to publish a book of his spoof reviews......great find 'the pauly'....this guy is really funny!
     
  22. Gorshin

    Gorshin
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    :rotfl:
     
  23. CrispyXUK

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    Anyway, Im off to rent Planet of the Apes :)
     
  24. eviljohn2

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    The Jack Frost review is great. :rotfl:

    Added to my bookmarks as I don't want to spoil myself with so much fun reading in one day... :)
     
  25. the_pauley

    the_pauley
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    Bump.

    The reviews continue!!! Check out his latest batch. :rotfl:

    Brilliance! :smashin:
     
  26. Kenny Glasgow

    Kenny Glasgow
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    Must get some bear repelent :rotfl:
     
  27. manny

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    i don't know if any of you noticed, but he now has his own website! howardtuttleman.com. you can even buy a howard tuttleman pin badge! i don't know how long i can resist getting one!
     
  28. Adrenochrome

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    Ordered mine today :D
     
  29. Pbryanw

    Pbryanw
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    On Pink Moon by Nick Drake

    Almost tragic. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. A great find however. If it's true then when the Film's coming out. :)
     

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