AVP: Alien vs. Predator Review

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by AVForums Dec 1, 2005 at 12:00 AM

    AVP: Alien vs. Predator Review
    I'm sure you've all read reviews on this particular movie, so for those who haven't and mostly for those who have, here's the speed version of the synopsisWeyland Industries have identified a pyramid under the ice in the arctic, via satellite. It only was noticed due to heat/power signatures that appeared over night so to speak. Weyland himself decides to get a party to go and claim this archaeological find, all the time not knowing this is a Predator battle arena for training/rites-of-passage and the foes are the Aliens. Of course, a pod carrying 3 more Predators is on its way, its passengers about to test their mettle against the Aliens, however the humans element is going to get in the way and generally mess things up, as is the norm.

    Well that's the plot, basically to enable what you hoped would be some great action between Aliens and Predators, either mass battle, one on one or some other setup, with lots of acid, blood, carnage and other assorted action elements. What we've got is a Paul W.S. Anderson movie, which managed to offend, no, insult completely the fans of the movies, but the movies themselves that came before this. It's a struggle to say something nice about the movie......erm.... well the Aliens and Predators look nice/right but that's about all I can say. From B-movie talent (although Lance Henriksen is an under-rated talent) to a plot with more holes than a teabag, this is dire. It screamed for an 18 certificate, but gets watered down, it's written and directed by the second worst/most hated director known (Uwe Boll is first obviously) and is just so wrong, words fail me. There're moments that will get fanboy type “pops” such as seeing the Alien Queen again, but do we really need face-huggers in bullet-time? Do we only want 3 set pieces? No, we wanted something meatier, bloodier and certainly better written with more respect shown to the originals than we have here. The only thing nice I can say about the director is he is engaged to Milla Jovovich (there's another how-did-THAT-happen question), as the evidence here makes me struggle with how he could ever get another movie green-lit again (although Event Horizon isn't too bad), although a quick look sees not only is he making DeathRace 3000, he's writing Resident Evil: Afterlife. I guess we love to hate his movies and this is no exception (although I really would love the 90mins back I wasted).

    The Rundown

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