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An office coffee conundrum

Discussion in 'General Chat Forum' started by PocketBunny, Mar 2, 2012.

  1. PocketBunny

    PocketBunny Active Member

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    So today i was presented with a problem which i have encountered a couple of times before, but am yet to find a solution to.

    Im at the office and someone brings me a coffee from Costa. All well and good and much appreciated. The problem is the coffee delivery coincides with a much needed bowel movement.

    So without one of those weird USB coffee hotplate things, or microwaving it (that just seems wrong to me) how can i keep my coffee hot, while disappear for 10 mins to make myself comfortable?
  2. Chox1988

    Chox1988 Well-Known Member

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    I'd have thought it would have stayed warm long enough :laugh:, failing that insulate the cup with something, not sure what you've got at hand but a tea towel or something like that would work nicely
  3. PocketBunny

    PocketBunny Active Member

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    I shouldve stated that the coffee shop is a 5-10 min walk away. I like my Mocha with an extra espresso shot to be HOT!
  4. kav

    kav Well-Known Member

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    Bring a newspaper and drink it on the throne.
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  5. PocketBunny

    PocketBunny Active Member

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    Thats just not sanitary!
  6. MIghtyG

    MIghtyG Active Member

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    Grit your teeth and pinch it off quick?
  7. GaseousClay

    GaseousClay Active Member

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    Fashion a suitable jacket out of bubble wrap.. or educate your bowels to loosen earlier
  8. imightbewrong

    imightbewrong Active Member

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    Get a thermal mug and transfer it - doesn't have to be powered if a good one.
  9. Ivor the Engine

    Ivor the Engine Member

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    Just what I was thinking.

    Equally, what the hell are you doing on the crapper for 10 mins - waiting for your coffee to go cold? :)
  10. johntheexpat

    johntheexpat Active Member

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    So the journey from the coffee shop takes the same time as the bowel movement. Seems you need an app for your phone that lets you know when the coffee has been bought so that you can go to the loo and get back to your desk at just the right time.

    I offer no suggestions as to what this app might be called.

    If it was a 2 minute warning and hence you needed to be quick in the loo then you could call it the expresso crap app. But 10 minutes?
    Last edited: Mar 2, 2012
  11. Courtjezter

    Courtjezter Active Member

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    Why? what you are doing is drinking a drink from a cup, with a lid for that matter, on the toilet. At which point are you doing something unsanitary in the process of drinking? Unless you have some strange toilet habits? In fact the smell of the coffee should counteract any other noxious emissions that are produced during the process, leaving the loo a more pleasant place for all.
  12. Stinja

    Stinja Active Member

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    Are you sure this person is not actually trying to offer you a "hot coffee", instead of the drink sort? You could be in! :smashin:
  13. Crocodile

    Crocodile Well-Known Member

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    I think that's the KR app...
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  14. tonyrees687

    tonyrees687 Active Member

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    Thinking the coffee buyer is after your job. 10 mins down the pan = 10mins down the pan.
    Just a thought
  15. Begonia

    Begonia Active Member

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    Sounds like just one of the hazards of bad panning, sorry, planning.

    Bite your bottom (lip?) and move(???) on.
  16. NoMansLand

    NoMansLand Member

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    10 minutes in the crapper? Seriously... :eek:

    If that whole 10 minutes is taken up laying a brick, then you've got issues.
  17. IronGiant

    IronGiant Moderator

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  18. Gerbil

    Gerbil Member

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    10 minutes :confused: Maybe a bit more fibre in your diet is called for. That way you'd be healthier and enjoy hotter coffee :)

    Alternatively have an office block as poorly maintained as ours, with loos that have poor ventilation, a very weak flush and co-workers who think it's good practice to lay down a carpet of cushioning toilet paper, curl one off on top and then leave it.

    You can't afford to take 10 minutes in our loos, I can feel brain cells keeling over everytime I set foot in there.
  19. baldrick

    baldrick Active Member

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    I like to take my time when it comes to my morning constitutional, read the Daily Mash, maybe an email etc...

    You could always hold it in whilst you drink your coffee and then with the extra oomph from the caffeine you'll be in and out of trap 1 in no time...
  20. gbcasual

    gbcasual Active Member

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    What's wrong with microwaving it when you get back? If you ask for it extra hot from Costa, that is all they will do anyway.
  21. BAN5HEE

    BAN5HEE Active Member

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    Don't you have a microwave in the office? Reheat it. We have a costa in our building. :thumbsup:
  22. Steven

    Steven Senior Moderator

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    Have a flask at work and use the excuse you are a slow drinker? :rolleyes: :)
  23. Rog69

    Rog69 Member

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    You could always get one of these for the office, no need to move from your desk then -

    Bored.com Funny Photos - Toilet Office Chair

    Actually, all this has given me a great idea for a new thread where people can name a type of coffee to describe their last bowel movement :devil:.
  24. IronGiant

    IronGiant Moderator

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    Let's not... :)
  25. dejongj

    dejongj Well-Known Member

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    I always get my coffee at the wrong moment, so I have learned to just drink it cold or any state it is in :)

    A good way to change your taste buds is have children, you will guaranteed be learning to have luke warm dinners, cold teas and coffees :)
  26. Jenn

    Jenn Active Member

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    Or C(offee)R(eminder) app
  27. Mr.D

    Mr.D Active Member

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    I've never understood this obesession with spending a long time on a bowel movement.

    I'm 5 mins max unless I've got the squits and that includes washing my hands.

    I probably spend longer wiping my harris than chopping the wood.

    If you spend so long in there you need literature you need to get some more fibre in your diet.

    Just cannot understand this preoccupation with lingering in the cludgey.
  28. hyperfish

    hyperfish Active Member

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    **** and run is my preference. Least time possible basking in turd vapour.
  29. CraigofScotland

    CraigofScotland Active Member

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    Coffee just help poops brew. Save the poo for after coffee and it'll fly out at light speed.

    Might not even have to wipe.
  30. Pecker

    Pecker Well-Known Member

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    Quite agree - all these people with magazine racks and books next to the loo - listen you lot, you need to see a doctor.

    Back to the coffee - whenever I've bought a 'take out' from a train station platform, I've found that, with the lid on, it's so hot I'm unable to drink it for 20 minutes anyway.

    If it has gone a little cool too cool for you then a few seconds in the microwave will bring it back up to temperature. I wouldn't heat up completely cold coffee like this, but adding a few degrees if it's just cooled very slightly won't harm the taste.

    Alternately, buy a cafetière and make your own - it's cheaper, quicker, and you can make exactly the style/strength of coffee you like.

    Steve W

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