[xWAKEYx]

I’m happily married with a 1year old girl. And my terrible addiction with the xbox has increased recently with the release of CODMW2.

Just wondering if any other AVFers are in the same boat and do they have any advice on how they go about getting some time on the xbox… whilst also keeping the mrs happy. This thread may also be useful/ eye opener to those expecting children?

I must point out that I didn’t have this problem until my wife bought the xbox360 for my 30th birthday (now 32) so it’s her fault.

During my wifes pregnancy I had it all set up in the bedroom using my turtle beach x3’s to good effect only problem was I couldn’t speak and eventually the noise from the xbox would wake my mrs up usually around 1-2am which she would not be impressed by. It did guarantee me gaming time every night though.

When the baby was born I pretty much didn’t touch the xbox for about 6months so if your mrs is pregnant be prepared for your xbox to collect dust.
The xbox is now down stairs and if lucky I tend to have a game most nights though my wife is starting to complain as I come to bed way to late (2am) especially when its my turn to get up with the baby. Also other complaints are that I don’t spend any time with her, talk to her, don’t come to bed early for a cuddle (even more so with the current cold nights) and only use her for s£x!!!

Once we’ve fed and put the baby to bed by 8pm, sorted out her food and bottles for the next day and had tea ourselves we sit down talk and watch some TV, to be fair to her we watch things we both want t o watch off the sky+ planner. The mrs usually goes to bed before me usually 10pm, (she’s stopped asking me now) and we take turns each night getting up with the baby, who usually needs a cuddle and tucking back in with a dummy on average 3 times a night. I play the xbox with my x3 headphones resting over one ear with the other ear listening to the baby monitor. I look after the baby if she wakes before i go to bed, even if it’s the mrs turn to get up with her so she gets a solid 2-3 hours sleep.

I keep meaning to try and to stick to playing xbox every other night, when it’s not my turn to get up with the baby. Though finding it hard to stick to this plan and even discipline myself to go to bed at a decent time when it is my turn to get up. Its usually 1-2am when I go up which is hard work when I have to get up with the baby even more so now she’s teething. And in the mornings I tell myself bed early tonight, but being a night person it doesn’t happen.

Wife came down at midnight last night with a face like thunder to kick me off or stood there till I turned it off. This is my last one honest I said. Other nights when it’s been later she just storms into room and turns the xbox off…ouch. We take turns with a lie in on weekends though my lie ins tend to be longer. Seem to need less sleep when you have a child, but realized the other day on a day off how much sleep I had deprived myself of when I went back to sleep once I saw the baby and my wife off through the door I slept from 7am till 6pm!

So how do you manage?

Apologies for the length of this post. It’s therapy I guess 

[cassius76]

I'm expecting my first little one . Eta Jan 2. Your post has just seriously put a downer on things.. thanks.











But in all seriousness, yes.. Everything you have posted I am expecting. And yes.. I do see other guys on with very young children a lot! How on earth do they do it?


I have no idea.

One of my friends who was on xbox LIVE a lot has pretty much retired now. His second one is due in a couple of weeks too!

[kav]

I know where you're coming from wakey. I've had a few blow-outs with my wife in the past. We've got two kids, with a third now on the way, but as anyone on my friends list will know, I'm online most nights.

I get away with this by doing as much as I can around the house and with the kids (ages 5 and 3) over the course of the day. I'm happy to put in my fair share to housework and all that stuff, and even more so now because she's pregnant. We usually watch a bit of recorded tv or some episodes from a box set together, with her heading to bed between 9-10pm. Then I get on til about midnight (or later if i'm feeling particularly addicted!).

We try to make sure we have a night out together at least once a month, to actually spend some proper time together. The argument we used to have was regarding how much I'd play the 360, which I would counter by saying she watches loads of Oprah/Come Dine with me/Jordan and Peter/Private Practice/Gray's Anatomy and I don't complain about it! After a couple of big arguments, we came to the arrangement we have now, which works well for the most part, and we spend some proper time together away from any electronic distractions as regularly as we can. You definitely need this I think (not you specifically, but people in general).

As has been said before by other people, gaming ought to be seen by our wives as the most benign pastime ever - would they prefer us to be out boozing with our mates, potentially away shagging some other young one? With our hobby, they know exactly where we are and who we're with, and the worst that can happen is we don't quite get a full night's sleep. I usually find though that a couple of late nights forces me to go to bed early the following night - maybe that's age talking!

A trick I occasionally carry out (which my wife is fully aware of as a ploy, but she appreciates nonetheless!) is, once the kids are put to bed, to run her a nice hot bath, light candles, burn scented oils, etc etc. This relaxes her and makes her very sleepy, meaning she'll enjoy her bath and then go straight to bed, leaving you with hours and hours of gaming heaven.

[inzaman]

I feel your pain as i am in the same boat

This is what we do, our baby (young lad of 15 months old) goes to bed about 7.30 - 8pm every night so from that time until about 9.30pm i will play the xbox or watch a movie. If i watch a movie then i do ask my wife to join me so we can have some time together, she hates gaming so would not sit there watching the xbox and rightly so. If i watch a movie from about 7.30pm i will go upstairs about 9.30pm -10pm where my wife is usually watching the TV (luckily she chat's to her friends most night's whilst i am doing my thing so is okay) so can have a chat do the cuddle thing.

If i play the xbox then i will come upstairs at 9pm whilst she is definitely still awake and spend a bit of time with her. At about 10pm my wife is usually drifting off to sleep so i will dream feed our lad and depending on how i feel will either go back to bed myself and watch TV for a bit, or go back downstairs and play the xbox. TBH an hour - hour half session is usually enough for me anyway so normally watch TV in bed. Luckily i dont really have any programs that i must watch and would rather play the xbox or watch a movie. If i am playing the xbox and our lad moans or wakes then i will make an effort to tend to him and do say to my wife dont worry you relax i will sort it, so she knows (or thinks) that i am not totally absorbed in the xbox

The three times a night thing should stop or reduce, we do not always go to our lad when he cries as we were getting up six or more times a night and was becoming crazy, he now normally sleeps through after a dream feed. If he wakes up we give it 5 mins and if he hasnt stopped crying we will go to him, normally he does though

I also do tell my wife that she is lucky i am at home where she knows where i am and what i am up to, i could be down the pub with my friends most nights. Also when we all get together as couples we do have a laugh about this as they say the same thing to their wifes/GF's - we emphasise how lucky they are that we stay in on Friday nights

Wife came down at midnight last night with a face like thunder to kick me off or stood there till I turned it off. This is my last one honest I said. Other nights when it’s been later she just storms into room and turns the xbox off…ouch

To me that implies maybe she has an issue with you playing the xobx or doing your own thing - i dont know my wife has never done that, and tbh once she is asleep wouldnt know if i came to bed at 11 or 2

I would try and get some balance and maybe some nights eithe rdont play, or try and play whilst she is watching her programs.

[inzaman]

Originally Posted by kavanf1

We try to make sure we have a night out together at least once a month, to actually spend some proper time together.

That is a very good point and worth doing. At least once a month my mum will have our lad overnight and my wife and i will go out either together on our own or with friends as couples.

[oasismark]

Married with a 6 year old girl here.

I dont play 360 when mrs or daughter are about, even if i was allowed, i wouldnt cos i cant concentrate.

So i play mainly when both are in bed, mrs needs more sleep than me so from 10pm onwards i play or watch a film etc., till bout 12 or 2 if i'm into a game.

Luckily though my mrs works shifts, so i sometimes get 3-4 days a week when i can game from 8pm when little un is in bed, right up to 12-2am again.

Those are my lucky days and i think i would get really frustrated if i didnt have these 'shift' nights to play to my hearts content.

Originally Posted by kavanf1

As has been said before by other people, gaming ought to be seen by our wives as the most benign pastime ever - would they prefer us to be out boozing with our mates, potentially away shagging some other young one? With our hobby, they know exactly where we are and who we're with, and the worst that can happen is we don't quite get a full night's sleep.

Thats the side i put across if she moans i'm on it alot.

Originally Posted by kavanf1

I usually find though that a couple of late nights forces me to go to bed early the following night - maybe that's age talking!

Thats me too, a 3-4 nights at 2am, means i'm in bed well early day after.

Use this to your advantage and lie say, 'ive missed you darling, shall we have a early night'

[Von Smittle]

I know exactly what your saying, I have a missus of 5 1/2 years and two kids, I find it so difficult to get any gaming time as she has started to say she can't go to bed unless she is really tired as she lays there wide awake, so she goes to bed around 11ish (where as before it used to be 10). She also doesn't like me playing games when the boys are awake (which is fair enough, but this then only leaves time at night).

Really irks me a little how she sees my 360 & PS3 as the devil, but as you say would she rather I was out on the lash with my mates wasting god knows how much money or would she rather my ass was planted on the sofa playing my games.

I really don't understand her thinking, all I'm really after is maybe 2-3 hours maybe twice a week of game time, is that really too much to ask? If I do ask, I get the whole thing of it's ok, but you can tell she isn't that impressed I ask.

[Ico.]

I'm 39. and have a wife and 2 girls... one 7 the other 3 almost 4...

I find the only time I get to play is either later in the evenings once the kids are in bed and the wife been sent of for a nice relaxing read in the bath! Or stay up late until everyone has gone to bed, and play the I'm having a small go of this before I come to bed for half an hour 1st card... normally meaning around 2 hours and bleary eyes the next morning.

The thing is once you have kids time is limited for all other things and can only get worse as they get older and stay up later... well with the games I like to play I cannot play them while they are around... not that they'd let me have any peace to play anyway.

On the plus side the misses is off on a crafting retreat tomorrow until Sunday... which although that means I'm stuck in babysitting Friday and Saturday night does mean I can play MW2!

[chic]

this is why i am single and i intend it to stay this way for the forseeable future, i dont want a women telling my i cant buy a new tv if I want one or some new bit of cinema kit. and god forbid ban me from playing xbox

[Tiger Feet]

With my vast experiance of women the biggest problem ive found is: They dont have their own hobbies/pass-times etc to fall back on. My 2 biggest pass-times are Xbox and fishing.... My missus has sod all hobbies so it can be hard work at times. I generally get my gaming in when all the soaps are on. Friday and Saturday nights i try to be good and stay away from the games room....

Women!

[BamBamMickey]

Wife + XBox = Divorce.

My wife has calmed down a lot over the years, especially since i explained i love her more than the XBox.




























I Lied.......

[kopchoir]

Originally Posted by kavanf1

As has been said before by other people, gaming ought to be seen by our wives as the most benign pastime ever - would they prefer us to be out boozing with our mates,

Frank you need to sort this out as well a few hours in the boozer is what needs to be done

[cott3e]

divorce is the only way forward - i think, or try to source some of the equipment available in MW2 for real - LMAO.

it is hard tho, generaly like most others only get a couple of hrs in the evening when the nipper's asleep and eastenders is not on the 40" tv, i point blankly refuse to play on my 20" sony tho, can't get those long shots in.

[WhiteHartMart]

All sounds very familiar.

I'm 36 with a family consisting of the wife (games console hater ), 2 Kids (5 yrs and 10 months), 2 PS3s, Xbox 360 Super Elite and 2 DSi's

Why I've got that many consoles is beyond me as I get about 5 hours gaming a week max!

Usual evening consists of bedtime for the kids at 8pm latest. Wife then may have some girly tv to watch in which case its gaming time for maybe 90 mins or so.

Other nights she might have an early night - say 9.30pm or so which gives me the opportunity for some more time, either in the lounge or in my office. Fortunately, my gaming doesn't seem to disturb her as shes usually really tired due to always doing the night feeds in return for staying in bed in the mornings longer than me.

Apart from that my only gaming time is during the day when I might have an extended lunch break (one of the advantages of being self employed and working from a home office)

Its all about finding a good balance thats suits everyone I guess - think for me it will get easier once our youngest is a little older - although talk of a 3rd child fills me with fear all over again!

[oasismark]

Originally Posted by chic

this is why i am single and i intend it to stay this way for the forseeable future, i dont want a women telling my i cant buy a new tv if I want one or some new bit of cinema kit. and god forbid ban me from playing xbox

I dont think were banned!

Its called 'consideration for others', if i actually wanted to play the 360 every hour i'm at home i could, but i'd consider myself a very selfish, ignorant & self centred person, which i aint. So i'm happy to confine my gaming to when i'm alone.

On Tuesday i sat at home with MW2 in my possession and didn't boot it up till mrs went to bed at 10pm.

Now that's love!

[mossym]

Like Kav, i have one on the way, this will be our first though, due in april. while obviously i can't predict ho it exactly will change things, myself and the missus have chatted about it. while she is still on maternity leave, she'll have the baby all day, and i know when i get home i will want to spend at least a few hours with the bay as well. however, my wife loves her sleep, so i still envisage getting on for an hour or two later in the evening.

long gone will be the days of getting home from work and putting in a 5 hours gaming session till bedtime.. (at least more than 1 night a week)

[BamBamMickey]

Originally Posted by oasismark

On Tuesday i sat at home with MW2 in my possession and didn't boot it up till mrs went to bed at 10pm.

Now that's love!

No, that's "Pwned".

[mossym]

Originally Posted by chic

this is why i am single and i intend it to stay this way for the forseeable future, i dont want a women telling my i cant buy a new tv if I want one or some new bit of cinema kit. and god forbid ban me from playing xbox

have a look at my cinema room and reconsider, if it wasn't for my wife i'd have about half it..

[kav]

Originally Posted by kopchoir

Frank you need to sort this out as well a few hours in the boozer is what needs to be done

Nah Si, I prob go for beers with mates a couple of times a month, which suits me fine - I couldn't afford to be doing it more often than that. Being 30 and married, I don't feel the same urge to go out and socialise that I used to, so a few nights out in Glasgow, or at my local doing the pub quiz, does me fine!

I agree with what Mark is saying too. A lot of people seem to think that our partners control our lives and there's no way we can do anything without their say-so. In fact, it's more about coming to a compromise that suits both parties so that she doesn't feel like she's taking second place to an inanimate object, and you don't feel resentful of her taking up valuable gaming time.

If neither person is willing to compromise, there are going to be problems for sure.

[zeroecho99]

I hear & feel all your pain guys.

I'm 34, married and have a 2½ year old daughter. When the missus was pregnant she used to go to bed early for rest so I would game quite alot but obviously that calmed right down once nipper was born and I slowly got back into it about 6 months down the line.

These days I get about a couple of hours a night from 10pm-12am. There are other times when I manage to get some more time in especially last night when I got my copy she voluntarily went upstairs to watch Sky to let me have the TV - four hours later and I'm creeping into bed and she didn't even hear me!

Most nights we watch TV till 10pm and it's a decent split on what programs we watch altho I'm lucky in that the wife is a big footie fan so I've no problem whatsoever in watching matches.

Luckily my daughter goes to bed by 7pm and is out like a light 5 mins later and sleeps right thru till 7am the next morning. Bliss.

[hot-fuzz]

Add me to your friends list. Im in exactly the same boat.
I get away with it by sending the 3 year old boy up to bed with my 6 month pregnant wife as bed is tje most comfortable place for her to sit, and she watches the iplayer or tvcatchup on the spankingly new macbook pro

She loves doing that as she is comfortable, and when the new one arrives i play on the xbox between feeds whilst the missus and the baby get some sleep.

Sorted.

[NickMon]

Im 42, married with 4 children - i normally get 3 hours a day in on the Xbox.

Shes used to it now. This is after quality time with the children (home work, reading, chat about day, cuddles etc all the normal stuff).

Normally game from 8:30ish until 11 on average.

She knows I'm into it and like it.. This weeks been bad with MW2 out..


I Game with the older two children as well so we often play togther and have a fun time. I never remember doing anything with my dad like this..So treat it as good quality time with the children anyway...

[BamBamMickey]

Originally Posted by NickMon

cuddles

, gee you do it quite early, would you not wait untill all the kids are in bed?

I Game with the older two children as well so we often play togther and have a fun time. I never remember doing anything with my dad like this..So treat it as good quality time with the children anyway...

Good point, i know when i was younger/teens i would have loved to been gaming with my dad.

[Hillskill]

Fellas, your not massively selling this to me at the mo

[Tiger Feet]

Theres alot to be said for keeping your todger in your pants!!

[Ico.]

Originally Posted by Hillskill

Fellas, your not massively selling this to me at the mo

As much as I really like games and have done since "Ant attack" on my 16K Spectrum... given the choice.... if it really had to be one or the other... I choose my children over games.

There really is more to life than games... athough it is good to have a distraction from games!

[d0ct0r46]

Thanks guys now I know I'm not the only one !!

I'm 34, married with one daughter who's nearly 3. This is my typical week night.........

Get home from work at 5:30, Play with daughter for an hour and a half then put daughter to bed at 7, talk to mrs about her day while eating diner until coronation street starts at 7:30 (or Eastenders, which ever crappy soap is on that evening). Get my 23 inch pc monitor out from behind the TV and put on my turtle beech headset with mic and play MW2 until 2am.......

For all you guys who get a bit of grieve off the mrs I used this excuse when I first got my 360.......

1, Its cheaper than going down the pub and spending 20-30 quid on drink.

2, She knows excactly where you are and not flirting with the barmaid whilst down the pub spending 20-30 quid on drink.

She now never complains

[Hillskill]

Originally Posted by Ico.

As much as I really like games and have done since "Ant attack" on my 16K Spectrum... given the choice.... if it really had to be one or the other... I choose my children over games.

There really is more to life than games... athough it is good to have a distraction from games!

Well, I'm on a rollercast I can't get off now. Our's is due 1st Feb Good friends of ours had their baby son on saturday and we met him for the first time yesterday. It really brought it home as to how much it would impact our lives as our friends looked exhausted (understandbly though).

[RedAl]

Originally Posted by MrAntz

With my vast experiance of women the biggest problem ive found is: They dont have their own hobbies/pass-times etc to fall back on. My 2 biggest pass-times are Xbox and fishing.... My missus has sod all hobbies so it can be hard work at times. I generally get my gaming in when all the soaps are on. Friday and Saturday nights i try to be good and stay away from the games room....

Women!

You and me are from the same pod mate. Fishing and Xbox are my two favourite pastimes. I`ve been married for about 7 years now and we have a lad who`ll be 4 in January. I can`t play COD when he`s up and after a few major blowouts with the missus about xbox and fishing we`ve come to an agreement where I spend "quality" time with her and also with my lad. So far its been ok. It also helps that she works late nights at least twice a week in a restaurant so that when my lad is in bed at around 7:30-8pm I`m free to game til my eyes go square. I think the trick is to strike a happy medium and spend some quality time with the family or you`re asking for trouble.

[chillo]

Originally Posted by Hillskill

Fellas, your not massively selling this to me at the mo

ha ha! that's what I was thinking!