Hey Brogan, from reading your post it seems that maybe adversarial FPS games are not/no longer you bag mate. Many of the games suggested don’t float you boat due to various reasons all centered around being killed too much, people camping, not having the weapons to complete due to better weapon being unlocked after more play. I know what you mean as i have friends who have the same issues.
The only thing i would say about BFBC 2 is that, if you found 1943 maps too big thus leading to lots of walking to the action and then dying, you may find that compounded in BFBC 2 due to the fact that in BFBC, and i would assume BFBC 2, the maps are much bigger. There are more vehicles, but larger maps mean more distance to cover when you die. And of course, more vehicles means more chance of meeting one on route to the action!
Anyway, have you thought about playing more co op? I have a couple of mates who tend to find stuff like MW and BFBC a bit too much, they just prefer a more relaxed game rather than needing to practise or have ninja skills to survive. What you are saying kinda reminded me of them.
So, just thought I would pop in the idea, which those friends of mine seem to have found, and really like. Stuff like GoW Horde mode, T-hunt in Vegas 2, Spec ops in MW2, L4D 1 or 2 (as of tomorrow, yay!), WoW zombies etc – all those games let you play online with mates, but it’s your mates stick the bots, rather than you against some spotty yankee who has been playing for a million hours.
I guess you may have already tried these, but I thought I would suggest anyway, as it may be the way to go

Sorry if you've already tried these, but i never like to see a fellow gamer not enjoying, err, games