Welcome, One And All,
What’s big, very long, and ready to be pulled out of your Christmas stocking early? Yes, it’s my jumbo Christmas 2006/New Year 2007 TV Update!
I have to confess that this year’s TV offerings aren’t great…. but, there are some gems hidden amongst the dross, especially for those of you with access to digital TV, via Sky, Cable or Freeview! Worthy shows include an all-new, never-before-seen episode of “Due South”; a behind-the-scenes look at the hit US drama show “CSI: Crime Scene Investigation”!
As always, the following list is designed to help you decide what to watch and what to avoid! The usual system applies: any new shows starting (or repeats that are worth catching) will be labelled as “NEW”, and films will be labelled as “FILM" accordingly. Wherever possible, I will mention if a show, or movie is due to be repeated at a later time, but because of the sheer amount of scheduling I’ve had to go through for this update for you all, I may not always be able to do this. In fact, I may miss all repeats of some shows/films, purely down to being blind-as-a-bat, but don’t be too hard on me, okay?
All programmes and films are airing in Widescreen, unless otherwise noted.
Just one final thing: thank you to everyone who keeps returning each fortnight (or so), to see and read my TV Updates, and for all of the feedback and comments I get too. They are genuinely appreciated! All that’s left for me to say now, is to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and an extraordinarily Happy New Year! I’ll do my best to pop into the AVForums over the Christmas/New Year fortnight, but feel free to leave any comments or messages, for when I next visit you all!
Anyway, without further ado, let’s get on with business! Enjoy!
WEEK ONE
Saturday 23rd December 2006
Robin Of Sherwood Day – 6:00am-7:00pm
Random episodes from all three series of the much-loved, definitive adaptation of the Robin Hood myth. Beats the pants out of the current BBC adaption. Dark and gritty. Recommended. (ITV3)
Angel – 11:00am-3:50pm
From Season 1, the very first five episodes, with minor edits for adult content. Worth watching, if you fancy a very, very dark supernatural drama show! The remainder of Season 1 continues throughout the rest of this week, from 11:00am each day, followed by Seasons 2 and 3 as well. The final two seasons will be shown from later on in January 2007. (Sci-Fi)
FILM: The Nightmare Before Christmas (PG) – 4:45-5:55pm
Superbly dark animated extravaganza, written by Tim Burton, about Jack Skellington, who is rather fed-up with being the King of Hallowe’entown, and craves a new adventure. So, he kidnaps Santa Clause, and takes it upon himself to be the King of Christmastown instead! Beautiful music from Burton musician-extraordinaire Danny Elfman and incredible stop-motion animation, make this one of the most timeless films of recent years. May be too frightening for younger children, but for older kids and adults, this is a great way to start the festive fortnight. Contains some mild violence, and macabre overtones. Recommended! Showing uncut! (BBC2)
FILM: Sword Of Xanten (12) – 6:00-8:00pm
Lengthy, but intriguing sword-and-sorcery drama mini-series starring Kristanna Loken (Terminator III) and Alicia Roann Witt, based on the Wagner “Ring Cycle” opera quartet! When a baby is abandoned, it is brought-up by an elderly blacksmith, away from the local village, As the baby grows-up, he has his eye on a princess, but when he comes-of-age, he is forced to prove his worth, by fighting for a noble cause. But unbeknownst to him, he has another lady who is keen on him, and is willing to do anything to rid herself of the opponent. Originally premiered on Channel 4 last year, this is the full-length, uncut version, that’s also available on DVD. Episode 2 airs tomorrow evening at the same time. Stick with it, and you will be justly rewarded. An epic, visionary fantasy story. Contains some strong imagery, brief nudity, and dark themes. Recommended! (E4)
M.R. James’ “Number 13” – 9:30-10:10pm
One-off adaption of the acclaimed ghost story. Also repeated later tonight at 12:10am. (BBC4)
FILM: The Omen (18) / Damien – Omen II (18) – 10:00pm-2:20am
Want a gothic horror double-bill, to chill your bones? You can do a lot worse, than these two classics, starring Gregory Peck. When a US Ambassador’s wife adopts s child, little do they know what they have got in store. Cue lots of eerie and unnerving events, including some very famous “deaths”. Despite their ages, both films still stand-up as well thirty years on. Some gore, occasional bad language, and one of the creepiest musical scores every heard in cinema, these are horror films that will thrill and chill you! Highly Recommended! Showing in 4:3 (instead of the correct 2.35:1 widescreen). (Sci-Fi Channel)
FILM: Jaws (12) – 11:45pm-2:00am
The 1970’s monster movie classic from Steven Spielberg. Need I say more?! Sadly, it may be edited by ITV’s cretinous censors!
(ITV1)
FILM: Richard Pryor Double-Bill (18) – 12:05-3:25am
Starting with the 1982 “Live At The Sunset Strip” concert film, and followed at 1:40am with the “Here And Now” movie from 1983. Worth a watch at least once, but Pryor is an acquired taste, and his relentless profanity may not suit many. Showing uncut. (FX)
NEW: Prison Break – 12:20-1:25am
Five treats its viewers well, with a complete and uncut repeat run of all of Season 1, of the jaw-droppingly audacious prison-escape drama, starring Wentworth Miller. If you’ve only heard about this, and can’t afford the DVD boxed set, here’s your chance to catch-up on one of the best shows from 2006! Episodes will air most days, late in the evenings, sometimes in double-bills over the next two weeks! Highly Recommended! (Five)
Sunday 24th
The Story Of The Fairytale Of New York – 8:00-9:00pm
Documentary about the famous Christmas theme from the Pogues and Kirsty MacColl, which is now considered to be one of the finest modern Christmas songs ever recorded. See how the song came into existence, and hear what Kirsty MacColl and Shane McGowan think of their work, when it was first released nearly 10 years ago now. The documentary also looks at the impact that the tragic death of MacColl had on the band and the song. (BBC3)
Mock The Week: Unseen and Uncut – 10:15-10:45pm
Special edition of the adult comedy news quiz, with host Dara O’Briain looking through past series highlights, including footage never seen before, and material cut from broadcasts due to their provocative nature. Contains some strong language. Repeated on Friday 29th at 10:45pm. (BBC2)
Grumpy Old Men At Christmas – 10:45-11:45pm
If you’re over 40, you may now see yourself as a bit of a grumpy. See what some other Grumpies feel, about the festive season, including Rick Stein, Rick Wakeman, Arthur Smith, and Will Self amongst others. Contains strong language. “Grumpy Old Women At Christmas” can be seen on Boxing Day at 10;30pm. (BBC2)
NEW: The Minor Accomplishments Of Jackie Woodman – 11:00-11:30pm
Episode 2 of this new US black comedy show, about two single women trying to make their way in Hollywood. Whilst carving their niche, their also carving their way through several men’s bedrooms as well. Laura Kightlinger stars. Contains adult material. (ITV4)
FILM: Grizzly Man (15) – 11:00pm-1:00am
Werner Herzog’s acclaimed documentary about a man called Timothy Treadwell, who lived with grizzly bears, until one of them turned against him and killed him and his girlfriend. Contains some mature scenes of nature. (Discovery Channel)
NEW: Hopeless Pictures – 11:30pm-Midnight
Episode 2 of the animated adult sitcom starring the voices of Micheal McKean, Jennifer Coolidge and Lisa Kudrow, set in and around the fictional movie studio company “Hopeless Pictures”. (ITV4)
Lead Balloon – 12:10-12:40am
Repeat run of the vicious comedy series from Jack Dee. Dee plays Rick Spleen, a has-been comedian, struggling to get through life. Very funny, and very acerbic, and for once – without a canned laughter track. Watch all six episodes over the next fortnight, on BBC4. Check press for details of days and times, and for repeat showing details. Some occasional strong language. (BBC4)
NEW: Bad Girls – 12:40-1:45am
ITV has decided to can this popular prison drama, but not without one final episode. From early reports, this is as far-fetched as it can be, so don’t expect too much. Previously shown on ITV1. (ITV2)
Monday 25th
The Alternative Christmas Message – 3:00-3:10pm
Controversy surrounds this year’s selection, as the person undertaking the alternative message, is a British-born Muslim woman known only as Khadija, who will be discussing the problems and issues surrounding Muslim women wearing the Niqab, or full-faced veil. ** Dangerous joke alert - Not sure if this will look better in widescreen or not, as you won’t be able to see much of her anyway! End of dangerous joke alert! ** (Channel 4)
NEW: The Hogfather – 6:00-8:00pm
Episode one of a two-part comedy/drama from the author Terry Pratchett, about a Santa-esque character called the Hogfather who is kidnapped, only to have Death takes his place. Typically strange, but wonderful Pratchett drama, that should go down well with fans and non-fans of his work. Sir David Jason stars. Part 2 is shown on Boxing Day at the same time. (Sky 1)
NEW: The Vicar Of Dibley – 9:30-10:30pm
I have a soft spot for this show, and quite like it’s mix of silly, juvenile humour and take on women vicars. After last year’s special New Year’s Day episode caused complaints, the creators of the show have received a post-watershed time-slot for their final ever story. Geraldine has some big news for the locals in Dibley, but not everyone is keen to hear what she has to say. Meanwhile, Alice has solved the riddle of the Da Vinci Code, and discovers she may in fact be the living descendant of Jesus. This is the first in a two-part story, that concludes on New Year’s Day at 9:30pm. May contain some brief swearing and adult humour. (BBC1)
NEW: Little Britain Abroad – 10:30-11:00pm
Another Christmas special, split into two parts, as Matt Lucas and David Walliams take their hideous creatons around the US and Europe, to see what kind of reaction their characters receive. Part 2 airs on Saturday 30th at 9:15pm, or you can watch both parts back-to-back on New Year’s Eve at 10:30pm instead. Contains some strong language and sexual material. (BBC1)
Tuesday 26th
Third Watch – 3:00-4:00pm
The very first episode, of this superb, and much mistreated US drama, following the personal and professional lives of a team of police, fire and paramedic officers from New York. This is how you get viewers into a new-series: start with one of the best dance tracks ever written, showcase a superbly comedic car chase, and create some of the most amazing characters, and do it all within the first few minutes! A shame then, that Channel 4 have now failed to show terrestrial viewers the final Season from 2005. Thank God, for FX who will be airing uncut versions of Seasons 4, 5 and 6 from sometime in January!
This episode is also repeated tomorrow morning at 10:00am. (FX)
FILM: ET – The Extra-Terrestrial – 4:10-6:15pm
Much-loved adventure film about the alien who gets lost, and is required to find his way home again. This is the 2004 updated version, with walkie-talkies replacing guns, and some improved CGI effects. However, it’s also being shown cut by ITV. Says it all, really!
(ITV1)
FILM: Pirates Of The Caribbean (12) – 7:30-9:45pm
Fantasy adventure set amongst the swashbuckling world of pirates and skulduggery, with Johnny Depp, Keira Knightley, Orlando Bloom, Geoffrey Rush and Jonathan Pryce, when a governor’s daughter is kidnapped by pirates, a blacksmith and former ship’s captain have to set-off to rescue her, not entirely aware of just what they are getting themselves into. Contains some violence, and scary scenes that may make it unsuitable for under-12’s. Showing in 1.85:1 rather than 2.35:1, but it is airing uncut!
(BBC1)
Wednesday 27th
The Most Annoying People At Christmas – 9:00-10:30pm
First of three “specials” counting down the most irritating, downright mind-bogglingly stupid and infamous brainless halfwits of the year. Expect “Butt Munch” contestants, several former “celebs” and John Prescott to be somewhere in the Top 10!
Part 2 can be seen tomorrow at 9pm, and then the conclusion on New Year’s Eve at 9pm. (BBC3)
NEW: Son Of The Dragon – 9:00-11:00pm
First half of a two-part TV mini-series, shown earlier this year in the USA. As a thief plots to steal some Royal Crown Jewels, he finds his masterplan interrupted by the mysterious Prince Of The North, who has other ideas, including kidnapping Shanghai’s newest princess. Mystical fantasy adventure: part “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon”, and part “Kung Fu”. Concludes tomorrow night at the same time. (Sky 1)
Grumpy Old Women At Christmas – 10:50-11:20pm
See details on 24th December under “Grumpy Old Men At Christmas”. (BBC2)
The Art And Crimes Of Ron English – Midnight-1:15am
Enjoyable documentary about Canadian artist and advertising hijacker, Ron English, who consistently breaks the law in the US and Canada, as he hijacks big-name corporations advertising bill-boards, and substitutes it with something far more provocative and witty. The documentary interviews English and examines why he does what he does, the response from the public, and the less than favourable reputation he has with the local police and the advertising companies, who are sick of seeing their multi-million dollar adverts being *******ised by someone whom they see as nothing more than a common criminal! Is advertising as insidious and powerful as it appears, or have we become immune to tactics of the conglomerate companies like Nike, McDonalds and others, as they take ever more pressurised intrusions into our lifestyles, in the desperate hope of selling their products to us? Very funny, and very thought-provoking. Contains strong language, and some adult imagery. Highly Recommended! (Artsworld)
FILM: Masque Of The Red Death (15) – 1:00-2:30am
Famously creepy and understated gothic horror movie, based on Edgar Allan Poe’s novella of the same name. Vincent Price plays a devil-worshipper who is desperate to keep the Plague from entering his local town, in 12th Century Italy. Roger Corman directs this classy fim, that is apt for everyone who loathes the festive season, seeing as it’s a study in demonology! :evil: Contains some scenes of violence and gore. Showing uncut. (BBC1)
FILM: Cul-De-Sac (15) – 1:45-4:00am
Donald Pleasance stars in the classic comedy thriller from director Roman Polanski. In French and English, with English Subtitles. (ITV4)
Thursday 28th
Planet Earth Day – 9:00am-1:30am
Back-to-back showing of all the episodes that featured in the BBC1 recent natural history documentary hit series, showing throughout the day. (UKTV Documentary)
FILM: Greed (12) – 7:00-10:00pm
Epic black-and-white classic movie, from the father of cinema Erich Von Stroheim. In 1924, Stroheim created one of the first true “epic” movies, spanning some 8-hours. However, after reducing the film by half, and then refusing to cut anything further, the film negative was taken away by the production company, and mutilated into a measly 130-minute “edit”! Originally divided into four acts, the film follows a jealous man who is put into a corner, after his best friend marries the woman that both have had their eyes on. A deeply flawed movie, which has lost much of its original majesty (and of which no negatives or print now exist). What is left, however, is still interesting if at times weird movie-making. Showing in the original 4:3 aspect ratio. (TCM2 – for one night only!)
NEW: Dracula – 9:00-10:30pm
All-new, eroticised adaptation of the quintessential vampire story from Bram Stoker, and starring Marc Warren and Sophia Myles, as the titular vampire and his love-interest Lucy. Contains adult material, and some brief gore and violence. Very similar in style to the early-90’s BBC2 mini-series “Dracula: The Opera”. Should be interesting to see how this version lays out the tale for a modern-audience. (BBC1)
It Started With “Swap Shop” – 9:00-11:10pm
Documentary about the classic Saturday morning TV series, and a trip down memory lane for any child who grew up in the mid-1970’s to early-1980’s, as celebrities old and new, talk about Saturday morning TV on both the BBC and ITV channels. From Tiswas, No 73, Multi-Coloured Swap Shop, Saturday Superstore, through to Going Live and many more, presenters and guests discuss the impact these shows had on the children and parents of a bygone era! Contains some swearing, hence the post-watershed timeslot. An edited, child-friendly version (minus 20-minutes footage) airs on New Year’s Eve at 6:10pm. (BBC2)
Is Benny Hill Still Funny? – 9:00-10:00pm
One-off documentary examining the 1970’s TV funny man, who was famous for his outrageously saucy (and deliriously sexist) comedy skits, involving lots of scantily clad women being chased, to that music theme! Was he genuinely funny, or just a sad old man, dying a death as TV tried to become more politically correct? And what do women of the time, and women today think of him? A comedy relic, or a dirty old man? Contains innuendo-laden material that may be unsuitable for younger audiences. (Channel 4)
Best Ever Muppet Moments – 11:30pm-12:35am
Stupid scheduling for what is a brilliant family documentary, showcasing the best and most memorable moments from the original long-running Lew Grade production “The Muppet Show” series! Interviewees include John Cleese, Mark Hamill, and lots of others, as they discuss how they became part of show like no other. Also under discussion, is the perennial love-hate relationship that Kermit The Frog and Miss Piggy endured throughout the show’s lengthy history. Recommended for young and old alike, especially if you fancy seeing Statler and Waldorf (the two curmudgeonly old men who always watched from their special balcony seats) trash everything and everyone – past and present! (ITV1)
FILM: Julie And Celine Go Boating (15) – 12:15-3:40am
Rare outing for this surreal, but oddly compelling supernatural French period drama. At over 3 hours in length, this is heavy-going material, but for lovers of historical drama, and European Cinema in general, then this will pay dividends to those of you willing to let its gentleness lull you into a false sense of security, before it delivers its chilling coup d’etat at the end! Based on two Henry James chillers, director Jacques Rivette (who also created the artistic, meditative masterpiece “La Belle Noiseuse”, at 4 hours in length) invites you into a world where not everything is quite what you think. A female magician, Juliet Berto, takes a shy librarian, Dominique Labourier on a series of travels around a quaint old house. But their adventure is short-lived, when the house reveals a darker side, that neither women ever expected to be a witness too. This is an ice-cold French chiller, in the vein of “Ringu” and “The Amityville Horror, but without the gore or special effects. However, for a film made back in 1974, this is still an unbeatable and very chic movie! Highly Recommended, for arthouse movie buffs. Contains some occasional uses of strong language, and some creepy scenes of mild violence. (Film4)
Friday 29th
FILM: Two Brothers (PG) – 3:20-5:00pm
Based on a true-life story, this acclaimed travel drama, stars Guy Pierce, as a notorious game-hunter who kills the mother of two lion-cubs, on a holiday in French Indochina. The cubs are left to fend for themselves, but are soon split-up, with one going to a travelling circus, whilst the second cub becomes a government pet! Oddly affecting drama, from Disney no less, with some overly-sentimental sequences. However, you’ll only be watching this for the animals, who easily out-act all the human cast members at every turn! Not a great film, but the animal scenes are brilliant. Very brief use of mild violence that may distress very young children, but other than that, family-friendly. Showing uncut. (BBC1)
FILM: Thunderpants (PG) – 3:30-5:00pm
If you thought that Britain could never make a film so utterly devoid of any redeeming factor at all, then you’ve never seen this title. A film, with a title so hysterically dire, that it’s 100% spot-on as to the absolutely shoddiness of the actual movie! When a boy is born with two stomachs, th
Christmas/New Year TV Viewing Update!
I was expecting some series to take a break to allow for festive programmes but I've lost loads on series links from Sky + and on checking digiguide I can't see them starting again in Jan!!! 
AV Dream Team Winner 05/06!! 
Re: Christmas/New Year TV Viewing Update!
Re: Christmas/New Year TV Viewing Update!
