[Garrett]

I was wondering have you spotted anything that happens in the movies or on TV that just does not happen in real life, such as:

1 When it lighting it always thunders at the exact same time.
2 If you fall in a river etc. you can dry out in minutes.
3 If a car hits an other it end up flying through the air (in real life they just crumple).
4 They catch fire instantly.
5 Ancient skeletons stay in one piece (in real life the cartilage between the bones would rot quick).
6 You can out run an explosion.
7 You can out run a machine gun.
8 If you jump at a window it will smash an allow you to pass through the opening.
9 The glass will not cut you.
10 A glass bottle will smash if you hit some one over the head with it.
11 Computers always display in big letters.
12 You can crack into an other secure system in minuets.
13 If someone is giving the hero a vital piece of information, that someone is killed rather than the hero.
14 As above but, I wont tell you over the phone I’ll met you at so and so ( to give the villain time to kill me).
15 Car can jump near impossible distances without damaging their suspension.
Would this also happen:
16 Aliens speak English?
17 They use the same computer programs as us (eg. Independence Day).
18 Other planets have populations of very small towns.
19 If you put a pair of glasses it will change you looks and voice so nobody will recognise you.
20 In space thing blow up in rings rather that in all directions.
21 You can hear the explosion in a vacuum.

The one that always gets me is that the "hero" takes a severe beating, rests for a couple of seconds, only to spring back into life and whip a$$.

End of film...


Cheers

Laurel

[Jase]

You can hide from an Alien with sophisticated technology by covering yourself in mud.

Also, survive a mini nuclear explosion by running away and jumping toward camera.

jase...also disable the alien with a log, where as high tech weapons have no affect.

The bad guy will evade thousands of bullets through out the film and then get killed buy just one at the end.

[Jase]

Or of course after the hero has taken at right kicking, hes not visibly scarred in anyway.

[Stuart Wright]

You can shoot two pistols like you're 'throwing' the bullets out and kill every baddy with the first shot but they can fire at you with machine guns and only hit the barn door next to you.
I'm thinking of Desperado which I think is a supremely awful movie IMO.

[Kevo]

Waking up with a jolt forward when having a nightmare!
You just don't do that.

Also...

Never receiving your change from a taxi driver.

Leaving car doors unlocked.

Never finishing meals/drinks.

Family members never look alike.

People falling unconcious from one hit on the head which sounds like a sledge hammer against metal.

Turning on TV just in time for a news report relating to the plot.

The DA/Mayor is always up for election in the near future and usually has a grudge against the hero cop who is usually divorced but ends up winning his wife back.

Unscruplous helicopter pilots always seem readily available.

Computer hackers are usually always coloured.

PC displays have HUGE characters, i.e 'PASSWORD ACCEPTED' and the hero/villain is always an expert typist and never makes a mistake.

Brits are usually cast as Pantomime style villains in Hollywood

Here's a load more cliches...

http://www.moviecliches.com/

[Jase]

And some never, ever, run out of ammunition!

What about "things that happen in real life that would not happen in the movies"?

An ex movie star becoming president for example? Or someone like George Dubbya Bush?

That just wouldn't look realistic.

Laurel

[Matt]

Channel 4 did this over the christmas period with their top 100 filmes of all time i think, the little channel idents that come-up in the ad breaks. Was very funny

[pointon]

My favourite is the car landing from a big massive jump, right on its nose, sparks flying everywhere, front axis snapped, driver unconscious, only for the shot to change and the car to simply carry on as normal, the driver in total control of the vehicle.

Yee-hah.

[Kevo]

And the pursuing cop car never makes that jump, it usually ends up in a ditch.

Pointin......so youv'e seen my missus going shopping then........

Hey Bob

Your post count just hit 444 - which is the same forwards as backwards. That won't happen again until 454.

Laurel

[Kevo]

Talking of three digit numbers....

No more where you live in the U.S. you can guarantee that your Tel area code will always be.....

555

[Jase]

Or when hearing strange noises the perosn will go off searching for the cause, generally finding a nasty end awaiting them.

Me, I´d be off in the opposite direction. Strange noises, I´m outta here!!

[Garrett]

Originally posted by Spectre
You can shoot two pistols like you're 'throwing' the bullets out and kill every baddy with the first shot but they can fire at you with machine guns and only hit the barn door next to you.
I'm thinking of Desperado which I think is a supremely awful movie IMO.

I agree I got to the bar room shoot out the other night, when the hero was reloading his two guns the fella with the machine gun less than 10 feet (am I a metric martyr) could not hit him. So Zebedee said time for bed.

Kevo what about, they are watching a film on the TV like the same as they are in, e.g., was they watching a giant monster film on the ship that was attacked by Godzila.
Or something like a big fish eating someone in Piranha.

How about this one, someone goes out to kill someone kills loads of people in the process but fails to kill their main objective e.g. Halloween.

[General Skanky]

Or, when under fire from a hail of bullets from the biggest shotguns in the world, the hero is never touched because he's hiding behind the the thinnest upturned table in the world.

Or, (didn't see this one, but here goes)..... the good guy walks down the street, and the highly trained sniper with telescopic sights, who has had all day to prepare, misses! Then with the reflex of a cobra the hero, without looking, instinct of course, whips round with a pistol and takes out the sniper with one shot from an incredible distance!

[Kevo]

Vulnerable woman ALWAYS goes down into that dark, creepy cellar or room, and you can bet that the candle/torch/lights will go out once she gets inside

[Kevo]

Garrett

OR

Person on the run walks into a shop or bar and you can bet that when he's being served a news report will come on the TV showing his wanted face.
And there's usually a cop stood behind him in the queue

[Reiner]

American cars always explode when they are involved in a crash or they do swing the back around when applying emergency brakes rather then going straight and coming to a full stop.

Star Trek crews never need to go to the toilet. What deck is it actually located at?

And another one: heroes or badies can come back to life again in the sequel.

[Zone]

When main characters die they always have dialogue to utter, one or two sentences usually along the lines of.
"I'm sorry...."
or
"I always knew this would happen..."
or
"I love you..."
or
"I hate you...."

Where as characters of no consequence get creamed outright.

In space, ships always fly in the same formations. (there's no horizon in space!)

There are always sound effects in space battles.

Nobody ever sneezes in mid-sentence.

People waking up after being knocked out for 10 minutes, feeling refreshed and alert.

All furniture is bulletproof.

And of course, the classic "vegetable cart / two guys carrying a mirror" that must appear in every chase scene.

[Garrett]

Originally posted by Azrikam
In space, ships always fly in the same formations. (there's no horizon in space!)

Yes on Star Trek when the Enterprise orbits a planet it is always in the same orientation, even when it is at what would be there south pole the planet is shown on top of it, rather than the enterprise being upside down. (hope you get the meaning).

Or if someone is following someone else a truck backs out and prevents them following.

And if someone is retiring from a service that week, they get killed.

Or if someone’s dying from a beating or shooting etc., they can last days, but soon as there comrade turns up, they only last a few seconds to pass information on then die.

[pointon]

Whether you're alone battling aliens, terrorists, small countries, super villains or whatever, there's always time to find a girl and fall in love at first sight.

Then you'll need to rescue her. What a liability.

[rigman]

It does not matter how evil the baddie is he never just kills the hero when he captures him but sticks him in an elaborate contraption / jail cell allowing him to escape and win in the end.

Iv'e never seen a cop car fill up with gas, but they seem to run forever.

When they have spotted the bad guy on the top floors of a shopping mall or get within 500yrds of him why do they shout at the top of their voice "THERE HE IS" and "RIGHT LETS GET HIM" this justs gives him time to out run the cops and hide again.

They all say "fire at will" but iv'e never seen will.....

The crewman you have never seen before volunteers to go on an away mission in Star Trek, you know he's not coming back, alive, so why do they volunteer for this, can't they seen a pattern here.

[Kevo]

Bedroom Scene...

No matter how long the woman has known her partner, she could be his wife of n years, yet she still covers her breasts with the sheets when they are talking or when she gets up to go to the bathroom...unless it is a French film of course!

[Timh]

Any scene from any Steven Seagal film.

[Garrett]

Rigman how about the villain captures the hero and instead of just killing him he explains his plot, allowing the hero time too devise a plot to escape, then foil the plans of the villain he has just been told.