[Napoleon88]

TRIBUTES are being paid to Scotland this morning after the entire country laughed itself to death.

The alarm was first raised at around 10pm last night as thousands of phone calls and text messages went unanswered.

Small groups of volunteers from Berwick-Upon-Tweed and Carlisle ventured north just after midnight only to find houses full of dead people gathered around still blaring television sets.

By dawn, as RAF helicopters flew over deserted city streets, it was clear that the whole country had suffered a catastrophic abdominal rupture.
Wayne Hayes, a special constable from Northumberland, said: "We went into one house in Dunbar and found three men sitting on the sofa with huge smiles on their faces, still holding cans of 70 shilling. They seemed to be at peace."

He added: "In a house near Edinburgh we found a man face down on the living room floor with his trousers and pants round his knees.

"It seems he may have been showing his bare buttocks to the television when he keeled over."

Roy Hobbs, a civil engineer from Northampton , said: "I got a call from my friend Ian in Stirling at about 9.50pm.
"He was already laughing when I answered the phone, but after about 25 minutes of the most vigorous and uncontrollable hilarity, everything suddenly went very quiet."

Moving tributes are already being placed along the Scotland-England border with many mourners opting to leave a simple bag of chips or a deep fried bunch of flowers.

[geomuss]

you certainly have hit the nail on the head there!

[djjimbob]

There is nothing worse than when countries within the UNITED Kingdom do not support each other (apart from when they are playing each other of course).

I'm English and here is a list of people / teams I have cheered on this year:

Andy Murray
Padraig Harrington <sp>
Scotland in the RWC
Wales - to score a goal in the footie some time.

It really pisses me off when Jocks or Paddys stand there watching England play and laugh their tits off when they lose. Why watch?

[geomuss]

Originally Posted by djjimbob

It really pizzes me off when Jocks or Paddys stand there watching England play and laugh their tits off when they lose. Why watch?

To mock the over hyped, over paid, over sensitive English why else!

[djjimbob]

Fair enough, but I don't want to see the other UK countries fail.

I'd rather have them in the tournament with England. Look at the glorious game between Scotland and England in Euro 2000.

Rather that than all of us sitting at home and having a ***** summer 2008.

[Hybrid_CA9]

I was dissapointed when Scotland got knocked out.
Sad to see NI just miss out.
Wales... well, yes. I hope they'll get better.
Was even hoping Rep Ireland would do well.

And then England get stuffed too.

What's funny, when the British Isles has not a single team in the finals? I really fail to see the joke.

I'll be supported Poland this year.

[edit: Although I do agree the English players are over-paid and over-hyped, and don't justify the acclaim and expectation. Let's get some new blood in the team, and see how Lampard and co feel about being dropped for a while.

Which could backfire, I guess, if they all pull a Carragher and quit international football. In Lampard's case, that's no real loss ]

[djjimbob]

I was gutted for Scotland as well. 24 points! Shocker.

Still, according to this thread - Ha Ha you didn't get thru! Again!

[Napoleon88]

Originally Posted by djjimbob

Fair enough, but I don't want to see the other UK countries fail.

I'd rather have them in the tournament with England. Look at the glorious game between Scotland and England in Euro 2000.

Rather that than all of us sitting at home and having a ***** summer 2008.

It's just comedy rivalry mate, no more, no less. A lot of English media and phone-in callers seemed genuinely upset for Scotland and again, I feel my attitude to English sporting failures soften. But then, Adrian Durham comes on the radio (TalkSport) and spends a couple of hours having a laugh at our expense and encouraging others to do so. He also encouraged Scots to call in on Thurs should England fail...



Essential Listening!

[ticmon]

Originally Posted by djjimbob

There is nothing worse than when countries within the UNITED Kingdom do not support each other (apart from when they are playing each other of course).

I'm English and here is a list of people / teams I have cheered on this year:

Andy Murray
Padraig Harrington <sp>
Scotland in the RWC
Wales - to score a goal in the footie some time.

It really pizzes me off when Jocks or Paddys stand there watching England play and laugh their tits off when they lose. Why watch?

Exactly what part of the UK does Padraig Harrington come from???

[djjimbob]

What's a million years worth of moving land mass between friends?

Republic / Northern - it's all the same blob on the map.

[RMCF]

Originally Posted by djjimbob

There is nothing worse than when countries within the UNITED Kingdom do not support each other (apart from when they are playing each other of course).

I'm English and here is a list of people / teams I have cheered on this year:

Andy Murray
Padraig Harrington <sp>
Scotland in the RWC
Wales - to score a goal in the footie some time.

It really pisses me off when Jocks or Paddys stand there watching England play and laugh their tits off when they lose. Why watch?

Think you answered your own question there. To see them lose.

I think that we 'non-English' usually want England to lose because of the attitude among the vast majority of the population that you are the best in the world.

I think if you were more humble then we wouldn't gloat so much over your defeats.

[geomuss]

Originally Posted by Hybrid_CA9

What's funny, when the British Isles has not a single team in the finals? I really fail to see the joke.

How can you fail to see the joke, they were playing last night against croatia.

Since 1966 England believes it has a god given right to beat every other nation it plays and to qualify for every competition.

Your newspapers and pundits are to blame for most of the laughing we do at yourselves.

It is also called rivalry, nothing personal!

I will let you go back to your day of mourning now!

[Hybrid_CA9]

Originally Posted by RMCF

I think if you were more humble then we wouldn't gloat so much over your defeats.

You should have seen the lads in the pub last night.

(English) People were laughing at the shocking level of English play, and when the two Croation goals went in it was the same story. Open, mocking laughter. And booing whenever McClaren showed his brolly.

I don't think any of us were being arrogant. What little hope we had was quickly shattered, and after that we were all just upset at the level of quality on display.

Atm, the England team is an object of ridicule, even amongst the English.

I think we should reduce their pay to more accurately reflect their ability.

[djjimbob]

Originally Posted by RMCF

Think you answered your own question there. To see them lose.

I think that we 'non-English' usually want England to lose because of the attitude among the vast majority of the population that you are the best in the world.

I think if you were more humble then we wouldn't gloat so much over your defeats.

What a bizarre frame of mind! So you swtich the match on and think, "Ooh, I'm looking forward to seeing England lose tonight"

How sad.

I ususally think, "I'm looking forward to a decent game with some goals"

Each to their own.

[Simon_143]

Yes fair play to you Scotland you will be able to sit back and watch your team in Euro 2008............ oh hang you haven't qualified either.

Here's hoping we both get knocked out of the 2010 WC so we can have a good laugh together again

[mooperman]

its always been a case of Scotland, Ireland etc hate England, we, on the other hand dont care and still support you guys.... its mainly jealousy that we have a team that does well (usually!) and the fact that simply put, they are usually a lesser species of person....

but hey its all comedy rivalry right...

[addyb]

Yeh im glad were out! Changes have been needed on all levels for a while now!

I still console myself over the fact i found it really funny that scotland actually believed they would qualify. LOL in a grp with France and Italy?

No way!

[djjimbob]

Originally Posted by geomuss

How can you fail to see the joke, they were playing last night against croatia.

Since 1966 England believes it has a god given right to beat every other nation it plays and to qualify for every competition.

Your newspapers and pundits are to blame for most of the laughing we do at yourselves.

It is also called rivalry, nothing personal!

I will let you go back to your day of mourning now!

The only thing I'm mourning is for the lack of interest I will have for the tournament now. It would have been nice to get gee'd up for the matches.

[mooperman]

Originally Posted by addyb

Yeh im glad were out! Changes have been needed on all levels for a while now!

I still console myself over the fact i found it really funny that scotland actually believed they would qualify. LOL in a grp with France and Italy?

No way!

its acceptable for some nations to be losers y'see....

[geomuss]

Originally Posted by addyb

Yeh im glad were out! Changes have been needed on all levels for a while now!

I still console myself over the fact i found it really funny that scotland actually believed they would qualify. LOL in a grp with France and Italy?

No way!

correct and we were under no illusion that our task was monumental, but for one moment we hoped and we dreamed, but in the end to no avail, but hey we still partied and still have the same manager.

Now england get draw in a group of CRAP except croatia, expect to qualify, no no sorry are certain they will qualify. but what happens the England bandwagons wheels start coming off, oh whats happening now, the inquest begins why?

Because you think you have a divine right to qualify!!! WELL YOU DONT

[Hybrid_CA9]

The inquest is not purely why we didn't qualify.

It's also about why we didn't play anything like good football. Not qualifying would be fine if everyone felt they'd done the best they could, or that we'd get the best out of the resources we have as a country.

But as it stands, the level of quality on display was so poor, there just has to be something wrong somewhere.

[dazza74]

Originally Posted by djjimbob

Fair enough, but I don't want to see the other UK countries fail.

I'd rather have them in the tournament with England. Look at the glorious game between Scotland and England in Euro 2000.

Rather that than all of us sitting at home and having a ***** summer 2008.

Pathetic I agree, I was cheering on Scotland the other night and I'm as English as they come when they played Italy. Let's face it if we didn't all club together in the Olympics we wouldn't win a bloody medal.

[geomuss]

Originally Posted by Hybrid_CA9

The inquest is not purely why we didn't qualify.

It's also about why we didn't play anything like good football. Not qualifying would be fine if everyone felt they'd done the best they could, or that we'd get the best out of the resources we have as a country.

But as it stands, the level of quality on display was so poor, there just has to be something wrong somewhere.

English football is driven by the £ not football.

It has lost sight of football as a whole, every club wants the big share of the cash cow, so instead of bringing through young players, giving them the chance.
they simply cant afford to, so they nip out and buy a ready made player from another country that can do a turn.

This then leads to your homegrown lads falling further down the pecking order, which over time leads to where you are now.

Dont take this as an insult, but are Gerrard, Lampard, rooney world class or are they made to look better buy the class of import they play along.

Foreign clubs have had there youth policys correct for many years before us, now we are playing catch up, its a painfull game.

Think of the 66 world cup team infact no think of your 1990 semi-final team.
At that time of great achievements, how many foreigners were playing week in and week out for prem division teams?
Most of the first teams were made up off english players, but now its the reverse in search of the golden prize of the £

[dazza74]

Originally Posted by geomuss

English football is driven by the £ not football.

It has lost sight of football as a whole, every club wants the big share of the cash cow, so instead of bringing through young players, giving them the chance.
they simply cant afford to, so they nip out and buy a ready made player from another country that can do a turn.

This then leads to your homegrown lads falling further down the pecking order, which over time leads to where you are now.

Dont take this as an insult, but are Gerrard, Lampard, rooney world class or are they made to look better buy the class of import they play along.

Foreign clubs have had there youth policys correct for many years before us, now we are playing catch up, its a painfull game.

Think of the 66 world cup team infact no think of your 1990 semi-final team.
At that time of great achievements, how many foreigners were playing week in and week out for prem division teams?
Most of the first teams were made up off english players, but now its the reverse in search of the golden prize of the £

No offense here but next you'll be telling me Rangers and Celtic mostly put home grown talent on the pitch every week.

[geomuss]

Originally Posted by dazza74

No offense here but next you'll be telling me Rangers and Celtic mostly put home grown talent on the pitch every week.

If you knew your football then you would know they do!

[dazza74]

Originally Posted by geomuss

If you knew your football then you would know they do!

Fair enough, I can't say I've followed Scottish football much in recent times so maybe it has moved away from our united nations at club level.

To me though I think this has been the worst qualifying for a tournament I've experienced, because I don't plant my flag as a biased Englishmen I would have cheered on another home nation if they'd qualified, but this time around with nobody qualifying even the Irish republic I think it's a dark day for the United Kingdom and the republic as far as football is concerned.

[Napoleon88]

Originally Posted by dazza74

No offense here but next you'll be telling me Rangers and Celtic mostly put home grown talent on the pitch every week.

Stephen McManus (Captain, defender)
John Kennedy (defender)
Darren O'dea (defender)
Aiden McGeady (attacking midfielder)

Several other players are life-long fans
Several more are Scottish

I don't know the intimacies of Rangers team, but they've got a lot of home-grown boys too.

In fact, there are more Scotsmen playing in this season's Champions League tournament for Celtic & Rangers as there are playing for all four English representatives.

[WildeKarde]

Celtic and Rangers is a bit more skewed but even they have a lot of homegrown players who play every week.

If you looked at the SPL then most of the teams play homegrown players every week - compare that to the Premier League when almost every team has more foreign players.

The issue with England is they expect to win every game - whereas Scotland hope to win each game

Scotland had a group with 3 of the 4 semi finalist teams from the world cup and they almost qualified. In my opinion it was all down to mentality of playing - England didn't have the right mentality and they got what they deserved

[kendoll]

Originally Posted by mooperman

and the fact that simply put, they are usually a lesser species of person....

but hey its all comedy rivalry right...

There is maybe a little insight into the rivalry right there.

Haven't seen anyone else resort to this kind of comment.

Maybe you should review your style of comedy.

[WildeKarde]

Originally Posted by mincecfc

Stephen McManus (Captain, defender)
John Kennedy (defender)
Darren O'dea (defender)
Aiden McGeady (attacking midfielder)

Several other players are life-long fans
Several more are Scottish

I don't know the intimacies of Rangers team, but they've got a lot of home-grown boys too.

In fact, there are more Scotsmen playing in this season's Champions League tournament for Celtic & Rangers as there are playing for all four English representatives.

Could also add Mcgeady - he was homegrown really even if he is playing for Ireland. And then add Cauldwell, Hartley, Brown & Wilson