Scotland "dies laughing"

[Napoleon88]

TRIBUTES are being paid to Scotland this morning after the entire country laughed itself to death.

The alarm was first raised at around 10pm last night as thousands of phone calls and text messages went unanswered.

Small groups of volunteers from Berwick-Upon-Tweed and Carlisle ventured north just after midnight only to find houses full of dead people gathered around still blaring television sets.

By dawn, as RAF helicopters flew over deserted city streets, it was clear that the whole country had suffered a catastrophic abdominal rupture.
Wayne Hayes, a special constable from Northumberland, said: "We went into one house in Dunbar and found three men sitting on the sofa with huge smiles on their faces, still holding cans of 70 shilling. They seemed to be at peace."

He added: "In a house near Edinburgh we found a man face down on the living room floor with his trousers and pants round his knees.

"It seems he may have been showing his bare buttocks to the television when he keeled over."

Roy Hobbs, a civil engineer from Northampton , said: "I got a call from my friend Ian in Stirling at about 9.50pm.
"He was already laughing when I answered the phone, but after about 25 minutes of the most vigorous and uncontrollable hilarity, everything suddenly went very quiet."

Moving tributes are already being placed along the Scotland-England border with many mourners opting to leave a simple bag of chips or a deep fried bunch of flowers.

[geomuss]

you certainly have hit the nail on the head there!

[djjimbob]

There is nothing worse than when countries within the UNITED Kingdom do not support each other (apart from when they are playing each other of course).

I'm English and here is a list of people / teams I have cheered on this year:

Andy Murray
Padraig Harrington <sp>
Scotland in the RWC
Wales - to score a goal in the footie some time.

It really pisses me off when Jocks or Paddys stand there watching England play and laugh their tits off when they lose. Why watch?

[geomuss]

Originally Posted by djjimbob

It really pizzes me off when Jocks or Paddys stand there watching England play and laugh their tits off when they lose. Why watch?

To mock the over hyped, over paid, over sensitive English why else!

[djjimbob]

Fair enough, but I don't want to see the other UK countries fail.

I'd rather have them in the tournament with England. Look at the glorious game between Scotland and England in Euro 2000.

Rather that than all of us sitting at home and having a ***** summer 2008.

[Hybrid_CA9]

I was dissapointed when Scotland got knocked out.
Sad to see NI just miss out.
Wales... well, yes. I hope they'll get better.
Was even hoping Rep Ireland would do well.

And then England get stuffed too.

What's funny, when the British Isles has not a single team in the finals? I really fail to see the joke.

I'll be supported Poland this year.

[edit: Although I do agree the English players are over-paid and over-hyped, and don't justify the acclaim and expectation. Let's get some new blood in the team, and see how Lampard and co feel about being dropped for a while.

Which could backfire, I guess, if they all pull a Carragher and quit international football. In Lampard's case, that's no real loss ]

[djjimbob]

I was gutted for Scotland as well. 24 points! Shocker.

Still, according to this thread - Ha Ha you didn't get thru! Again!

[Napoleon88]

Originally Posted by djjimbob

Fair enough, but I don't want to see the other UK countries fail.

I'd rather have them in the tournament with England. Look at the glorious game between Scotland and England in Euro 2000.

Rather that than all of us sitting at home and having a ***** summer 2008.

It's just comedy rivalry mate, no more, no less. A lot of English media and phone-in callers seemed genuinely upset for Scotland and again, I feel my attitude to English sporting failures soften. But then, Adrian Durham comes on the radio (TalkSport) and spends a couple of hours having a laugh at our expense and encouraging others to do so. He also encouraged Scots to call in on Thurs should England fail...



Essential Listening!

[ticmon]

Originally Posted by djjimbob

There is nothing worse than when countries within the UNITED Kingdom do not support each other (apart from when they are playing each other of course).

I'm English and here is a list of people / teams I have cheered on this year:

Andy Murray
Padraig Harrington <sp>
Scotland in the RWC
Wales - to score a goal in the footie some time.

It really pizzes me off when Jocks or Paddys stand there watching England play and laugh their tits off when they lose. Why watch?

Exactly what part of the UK does Padraig Harrington come from???

[djjimbob]

What's a million years worth of moving land mass between friends?

Republic / Northern - it's all the same blob on the map.

[RMCF]

Originally Posted by djjimbob

There is nothing worse than when countries within the UNITED Kingdom do not support each other (apart from when they are playing each other of course).

I'm English and here is a list of people / teams I have cheered on this year:

Andy Murray
Padraig Harrington <sp>
Scotland in the RWC
Wales - to score a goal in the footie some time.

It really pisses me off when Jocks or Paddys stand there watching England play and laugh their tits off when they lose. Why watch?

Think you answered your own question there. To see them lose.

I think that we 'non-English' usually want England to lose because of the attitude among the vast majority of the population that you are the best in the world.

I think if you were more humble then we wouldn't gloat so much over your defeats.

[geomuss]

Originally Posted by Hybrid_CA9

What's funny, when the British Isles has not a single team in the finals? I really fail to see the joke.

How can you fail to see the joke, they were playing last night against croatia.

Since 1966 England believes it has a god given right to beat every other nation it plays and to qualify for every competition.

Your newspapers and pundits are to blame for most of the laughing we do at yourselves.

It is also called rivalry, nothing personal!

I will let you go back to your day of mourning now!

[Hybrid_CA9]

Originally Posted by RMCF

I think if you were more humble then we wouldn't gloat so much over your defeats.

You should have seen the lads in the pub last night.

(English) People were laughing at the shocking level of English play, and when the two Croation goals went in it was the same story. Open, mocking laughter. And booing whenever McClaren showed his brolly.

I don't think any of us were being arrogant. What little hope we had was quickly shattered, and after that we were all just upset at the level of quality on display.

Atm, the England team is an object of ridicule, even amongst the English.

I think we should reduce their pay to more accurately reflect their ability.

[djjimbob]

Originally Posted by RMCF

Think you answered your own question there. To see them lose.

I think that we 'non-English' usually want England to lose because of the attitude among the vast majority of the population that you are the best in the world.

I think if you were more humble then we wouldn't gloat so much over your defeats.

What a bizarre frame of mind! So you swtich the match on and think, "Ooh, I'm looking forward to seeing England lose tonight"

How sad.

I ususally think, "I'm looking forward to a decent game with some goals"

Each to their own.

[Simon_143]

Yes fair play to you Scotland you will be able to sit back and watch your team in Euro 2008............ oh hang you haven't qualified either.

Here's hoping we both get knocked out of the 2010 WC so we can have a good laugh together again