Hi mate,
I regulary play a network game with my mate and at first we were having the same problems as you and it's very annoying!
So...what I recommend you both do is download a programme called Hamachi...
Hamachi - Download
You then setup your own server with password etc through Himanchi which your mate then connects to. Hamanchi gives you an IP for this server which you enter into Football Manager and Bob's your Munkhouse it should enable you to see and connect to your created game.
I hope i've explained that cleary enough, but google it and have a play around with it. I've never had a problem using this programme / method.