[gillette 73]

well kids take in information turn it around in their heads and blurt out anything with humerous consequence..my little un hears me call our cat "pussycat" you know baby talk. now the cat is young and always climbing..as per usual the cat was doing her climbing trick when my 2 year old shouted at the top of his voice "puss off"..hope he does not do it at nursery.He and his brothers are bang into star wars .but he can't say sith he calls them sh** instead.. so you normally get the line " i am jedi you sh**".
any one else heard anymore funnys from kids.
I Remember years ago my sister in law was explaining horse racing to my neice.. she told her its when you put money on a horse to win a race.. she quickly responded "[B"wont the money fall off[/B]

[Mac Man]

We used to have a neighbour that was a right knob. Miserable as hell - thought he owned the neighbourhood.

Anyways... one morning the kids (about 5 or 6 at the time) are out of the house and whilst wife is locking up.

They walk over to go past the neighbour (who is stood outside his house) and he tells them they can't walk down past his house. My daughter turns round to him and says "My mum says you've got no brain". At this my son joins in and says "yeah... she says you're a suitcase"

Whilst he's standing there stuttering and spluttering my wife comes over and gives him a right earbashing, then turns around and waltzes off with kids in tow leaving the 'suitcase' in a complete state of bewilderment.

[gillette 73]

Originally Posted by Chris Lamle

We used to have a neighbour that was a right knob. Miserable as hell - thought he owned the neighbourhood.

Anyways... one morning the kids (about 5 or 6 at the time) are out of the house and whilst wife is locking up.

They walk over to go past the neighbour (who is stood outside his house) and he tells them they can't walk down past his house. My daughter turns round to him and says "My mum says you've got no brain". At this my son joins in and says "yeah... she says you're a suitcase"

Whilst he's standing there stuttering and spluttering my wife comes over and gives him a right earbashing, then turns around and waltzes off with kids in tow leaving the 'suitcase' in a complete state of bewilderment.

class.. kids can get away with stuff like that whereas if you had of said it god knows the outcome..hurray for innocence

Was playing xbox the other day with some mates and we were taking turns per level. It was agreed the first person to lose a life would get a slap from the others.

On hearing this agreement my 7 year old girl started jumping up and down shouting " I want to be a slapper, I want to be a slapper"

Obviously she didn't have a clue what was so funny but I told her to remember this day as I will be reminding her in 10 years time.

[gillette 73]

Originally Posted by andych732

Was playing xbox the other day with some mates and we were taking turns per level. It was agreed the first person to lose a life would get a slap from the others.

On hearing this agreement my 7 year old girl started jumping up and down shouting " I want to be a slapper, I want to be a slapper"

Obviously she didn't have a clue what was so funny but I told her to remember this day as I will be reminding her in 10 years time.

superb , now that has made me giggle..just as well you wern't drinking a brew at the time..

[fredrikpj]

Hehe, I remember once when I was over at a mates house and we were going to play some xbox. And there was this hockey game on the chair that I thought I'd sit in, so I started lifting it and his son goes "oh! we're going to play hockey!", and I just stare dumbfounded on him and go like "oh...er....I thought I'd just remove this so I can sit", which led to his son looking really really sad and it just stabbed my heart hehe, so call me a sucker, but I had to have a quick hockeygame with him first

[gillette 73]

very sickly sweet mate

[fredrikpj]

My sister has a 1 year old daughter that does this cool thing.. hard to explain in english though..

My sis do this thing eventually putting her palms up above her shoulders going "meh...", and her daughter mimics this perfectly, so If I do the "meh.." thing she does it too, so sweet haha
Also "gimme five" is a favourite, and she puts her palm up if I say it

Adorable kid

Has my 20 month old niece visit last week, and I did the unforgiveable after trippig over one of her toys and banging my knee. Shouted "sh*t" and used f word with inevitable consequences. Thank god she only picked up on the first word - my sister hasn't forgiven me yet!

[mrtbag]

My daughter is nearly 15 months and just getting used to differnet words. She started to confuse the hell out of me and the wife though, she'd poke her head round the door or over the chair arm and say 'Cheddar'. We spent a whole month wondering why she kept saying Cheddar all the time. Turns out the child minder plays the 'boo' game with her, but where as we say 'boo' the child minder says 'Ta Da', and that is Cheddar!!

[delacroix_89]

My girlfriends aunty and uncle were over the other day along with their 5 year old daughter. During conversation her uncle does an impression of Father jack from Father Ted, i.e. "drink, ****, girls", at which point his daughter turns around from her toys and very matter-of-factly says "mommy, did daddy just say f*ck?". Needless to say for the next couple of minutes everyone in the room was desperatly trying to supress hysterics whilst her mum explaind that no, daddy hadn't said that very naughty word and now and then gave him a death stare

[Bat-man]

Many years ago, in the 80's, at a party there was a lull in the conversation. The host's daughter, aged about five, churped up with:
"I've seen my mummy's tuppence"
That made people really laugh.
The really amusing thing though was that nearly everyone at the party had also seen it!

[richjthorpe]

Originally Posted by mrtbag

My daughter is nearly 15 months and just getting used to differnet words. She started to confuse the hell out of me and the wife though, she'd poke her head round the door or over the chair arm and say 'Cheddar'. We spent a whole month wondering why she kept saying Cheddar all the time. Turns out the child minder plays the 'boo' game with her, but where as we say 'boo' the child minder says 'Ta Da', and that is Cheddar!!

Superb !

My 18 month old daughter puts her hands over her face then plays boo. Only thing is, she sometimes just keeps her hands there. Not sure whether that means she has the memory of a goldfish or "If I keep my hands here that stupid man will go away".

[IronGiant]

Took my 2 year old to school in her push chair to pick up her big sister and as we pulled up outside the classroom in front of all the other waiting parents she shouted out "b*gger, b*gger, b*gger, b*gger, b*gger, b*gger, b*gger" much to eveyone's amusement as it was clear she meant something entirely different. I suspect "buggy" was what she was announcing to everyone.

[gillette 73]

these are great it's definately a "out of the mouths of babes" quote.

[gillette 73]

whats worse is when little ones use swear words but use them in the right context... Our son watched austin powers the one with the scottish dude in it..he came down all excitied telling me about the film and blurted out and then fat bas**ard said..to which i said hey dont say that..but its his name mam...no no no i said it is a swear word.He understood but had said it by then

[Mrs AutomanUK]

Love this thread !! A few years back my niece had just started primary school and coming up to the school christmas nativity play she proudly told us all that she was going to be a Leopard. I asked her ' A leopard? that is interesting.. where does a Leopard fit in to the nativity?' She looked at me like I had 3 heads, and told me that she was looking after the sheep of course. Doh !! Took a lot to convince her she was going to be a shepherd !!

I am sure I could think of come classic moments from my own kids mouths, but for the moment I will leave you with that !!

[higenbs1]

At mealtimes, my little sister used to ask me to get her "Fork 'n' Knife" - say it quickly!!!!

Many hours of amusement!

[gillette 73]

Originally Posted by Mrs AutomanUK

Love this thread !! A few years back my niece had just started primary school and coming up to the school christmas nativity play she proudly told us all that she was going to be a Leopard. I asked her ' A leopard? that is interesting.. where does a Leopard fit in to the nativity?' She looked at me like I had 3 heads, and told me that she was looking after the sheep of course. Doh !! Took a lot to convince her she was going to be a shepherd !!

I am sure I could think of come classic moments from my own kids mouths, but for the moment I will leave you with that !!

give us some more then cos this is great fun when your feeling low reading it brings a smile to my face and a giggle to my lips.

[gillette 73]

Originally Posted by higenbs1

At mealtimes, my little sister used to ask me to get her "Fork 'n' Knife" - say it quickly!!!!

Many hours of amusement!

had that one two kinda got to encourage then to say knife and fork its not as bad.

[sdb123]

As all parents do, my Mum still recalls the time when I made a complete idiot of myself....

I was about 8 and walking into town with my Mum and sister, when my sister asked "what does ER stand for on the post office vans/post boxes" to which I piped up "it means Elizabeth's Vagina" -

I still cringe when the story comes up every Christmas

[sdb123]

Originally Posted by Mrs AutomanUK

Love this thread !! A few years back my niece had just started primary school and coming up to the school christmas nativity play she proudly told us all that she was going to be a Leopard. I asked her ' A leopard? that is interesting.. where does a Leopard fit in to the nativity?' She looked at me like I had 3 heads, and told me that she was looking after the sheep of course. Doh !! Took a lot to convince her she was going to be a shepherd !!

I am sure I could think of come classic moments from my own kids mouths, but for the moment I will leave you with that !!

That's just reminded me of my daughter's first nativity play at school last year...when she referred to Baby Jesus as "Baby Cheesy"....oh, the shame!

[gillette 73]

brilliant..kinda like when you bring round your first girlfriend and you mum gets out the phots of you 1 year old in the bath arggghhhhh!!!

my dad told me the first time he had to look after my sister on his own , he had took her shopping and in the middle of the shop she shouted "dad you forgot to put my knickers on ".. he turned bright red and left the shop hurriedly..

[fredrikpj]

I made a complete fool out of myself at school when I was little
We have this book called "Emil på aktion", which is Emil on auction and we were going to read from it.
But being the movie freak I was I read it as action, and everyone had a laugh at that when it was my time reading

[Mr Cat]

my sisters (then) toddler was upto no good behind the settee and she was calling to my mam - "nana,nana, don't look at me..."

class!!

[gillette 73]

Originally Posted by fredrikpj

I made a complete fool out of myself at school when I was little
We have this book called "Emil på aktion", which is Emil on auction and we were going to read from it.
But being the movie freak I was I read it as action, and everyone had a laugh at that when it was my time reading

school horrors i remember them well

[Opticon]

When my brother and i were both still living at home(he must have been 5 or 6 i think) my mum and dad had a friend who had been popping round every day for a couple of weeks because she had just moved in and her husband was away. One day after she had left, my mum jokingly said to my dad that it would be nice to get a bit of peace and quiet.

Ao the nexty day, my brother opens the door for the friend, and says "My mum says she's sick of you coming round here all the time!"

Whoops!

[Mac Man]

When my son was around 2 he was a huge fan of Thomas the tank engine (aren't they all). One day he was playing with his train set and kept shouting out 'F***ky telly'.

'Oh my God' we thought... whose been teaching him this stuff?





Took us a while to realise he meant 'the Fat Controller'

And then there was the time when my wife's cousin stayed as an au pair for a few months. She's Spanish and thought it was really amusing to teach my twins to make V signs and shout 'F**k off' when they were 2 years old.



She didn't stay much longer after that.

[Leej]

At the christmas nativity play, my then 2 year old, while watching, started shouting 'meee hate it, meee hate it'

Never a hole when you want one.

[IronGiant]

1987, my wedding, as we solemnly exchanged our vows, a little voice pipes up at full volume from the back of the church from my soon to be brother in law's 4 year old son...

"Daddy, this is boring can we go home now?"

At the altar we didn't hear it, but everyone told us about it at the reception.