Funny things the kids have said

**Stuart Wright** · 08-10-2011, 9:48 PM

So we're driving past big Ron Atkinson's house on the way through Barnt Green and I pointed it out to my son (aged 10) and said

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That's Big Ron Atkinson's house.

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The one who's Mr Bean?

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Yes.

Desmo · 08-10-2011, 10:38 PM

**Stuart Wright** · 11-10-2011, 7:28 AM

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Dad, why are we keeping the gates closed?

...asked my daughter (aged 12) yesterday...

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Because gypsies are back in the village.

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Oh....

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Because every time gypsies come to the village, cars get stolen and things get stolen out of peoples' gardens.

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Oh... What are Gypsies?

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Travellers. They are people who travel about.

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Like Doctor Who?

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Yes.

**IronGiant** · 11-10-2011, 6:48 PM

Brilliant...

Nibbo68 · 11-10-2011, 11:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stuart Wright

...on the way through Barnt Green and I pointed it out to my son (aged 10) and said

Lmao. Is he still at the house with the lions at the entrance or has he moved?

Doug the D · 17-10-2011, 9:26 AM

Absolute genius!

I'm awaiting the episode where the Doctor knocks on peoples doors, asking if they want a driveway tarmacced!

Doug the D · 17-10-2011, 9:44 AM

I thought the thread title sounded like the first line of a joke...Kids!

**Stuart Wright** · 23-11-2011, 6:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nibbo68

Lmao. Is he still at the house with the lions at the entrance or has he moved?

He's still there. His house has been on the market for years.
6 bedroom detached house for sale in Mearse Lane, Barnt Green, B45, B45
He's dropped it by £100k.

The school runs are a source of some great quotes.

Today my daughter pipes up out of the blue...

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Dad what are paedophiles?

...pause while we consider what to say...

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and what are countryphiles?

shodan · 01-12-2011, 7:40 PM

My four year old today pretending to be a witch.. "Hubble bubble, toilet trouble"...

DIYlady · 02-12-2011, 12:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shodan

My four year old today pretending to be a witch.. "Hubble bubble, toilet trouble"...

Best yet. :D

Jenn · 02-12-2011, 9:35 AM

Last week my son came out of the toilets telling me "Don't go in there, it's tosskit".
It's what?
TOSS KIT !

He meant "toxic" and just because he did a no2

Also his dad bumped him while walking past him, so he said sorry, for our son to reply sternly "You should be!"

7ewis · 07-12-2011, 10:19 PM

Hahah :P my parents told me that I used to call 'Kentucky(?) Fried Chicken' KFC,
'Frucky Tie Chicken' because I didn't know how to pronounce it, or what Kentucky was :P

quarry2006 · 07-12-2011, 11:44 PM

Yesteday morning:

Me: "[Name of Son], will you move this coat off the stairs so I can come down?"

Son: "You managed to get upstairs okay and the coat was there then."

The boy is five and already renders me speechless.

Jenn · 08-12-2011, 8:23 AM

Oh dear, I can imagine that's what's coming for us!

Yesterday I asked our son what he learnt at school that day and he answered "I can't remember, my think is not up yet"

jsniper · 08-12-2011, 1:08 PM

Well I used to call spaghetti pasketi.

My younger brother used to call Lee Evans elevens. (for clarification he wasn't watching it but my mum has a signed poster on the wall!)

qwerty321 · 10-12-2011, 10:17 PM

My little sister used to ask for 'wee wee' when she wanted something to drink. Not sure why!

Thankfully she soon started calling it Mink before managing to pronounce the word drink!

Mr_Flash · 13-12-2011, 4:47 PM

Not just kids. My wife comes out with some belters. Best yet is this

Driving on Motorway.

She says "What's all those blokes doing with metal detectors"

"You mean the ones strimming the banking" i replied

Toasty · 14-12-2011, 9:48 PM

My daughter said recently, "That's not Santa, he's got a fag in his mouth"

shodan · 14-12-2011, 11:11 PM

My four year olds Nativity play today. (I'm so proud, he was definately the best snow flake there) and he was singing the "Goodby Song"..

Goodbye, farewell, To the loo..... I'm pretty sure it was meant to be Toodleloo

Jenn · 19-12-2011, 4:56 PM

Today I aske dmy son if he knows how many days are left before Christmas.
Then he asks me: "What's after Christmas?"
Me: "After Christmas is Boxing Day"
My son: "Daddy does boxing on that day??"

Nabs · 03-01-2012, 9:35 PM

My daughter 2 yr old who wanted to play wish me when I needed to use the bathroom,

'Daddy I do not want you to poop never ever.....'

or

When I returned from work and said 'okay who missed daddy?....'
has the reply from her '..... not anyone'

Paul_T · 04-01-2012, 2:21 PM

My 3yr old while going through toilet training couldn't go unless you were holding her hand, and on some occasions when she was struggling to "force one out" needed to have her arms round your neck as if giving a cuddle.

So, on one of these occasions, while reluctantly cuddling a 2 yr old sitting on the toilet I kept asking if she'd finished to which she repeatedly answered "not yet daddy" when she started giving me a running commentary...

"it's coming, daddy.... it's coming....

...I can hear it, daddy... I can hear it...

...it's coming out of my bum, daddy! it's coming out of my bum!

I CAN HEAR IT COMING OUT OF MY BUM DADDY!! I CAN HEAR IT COMING OUT OF MY BUM!!!!"

Desmo · 04-01-2012, 2:45 PM

Paul_T · 04-01-2012, 3:10 PM

my lad used to watch dora the explorer - for anyone who doesn't know, being an american programme they usually try to include a bit of spanish for the kids to learn, whenever dora has some fruit she'll tend to say "mmm, delicioso!"

only my son thinks she says "mmm dirty arseholes!"

Jenn · 04-01-2012, 3:21 PM

One that comes up every so often is that my son on some words tends to pronounce L as R.

It becomes interesting when my son tells us he was 'clapping'

shodan · 04-01-2012, 5:23 PM

My two year old caused a few raised eyebrows and chuckles at the weekend. We were round my parents for Sunday dinner when Eve decided she wanted dinner. She got herself on the chair at the dining table and started shouting "Grandad"!! Grandad came out of the kitchen and went to her and she said "What you doing Grandad"? He told her he was cooking her dinner and he went out the the kitchen again. She called to him again a few minutes later, "Grandad!!!" and he came out again to her. She said "Dinner ready now grandad?"....

When she got her dinner she said " Mmmmm delicious" absolutely as clear as a bell! She only turned 2 in November!

The other thing that amused me that day was my boy trying to say Anemone. Was just like the bit in Finding Nemo... He sounded like a cat trying to miaow with a mouth full of toffee...

rich tee · 13-01-2012, 5:38 AM

The local scout troop were collecting plastic tops off of milk bottles at my son's primary school, they only wanted semi skimmed green tops I said to my son the milk they give you at school is the blue one isn't it, he replied

No it's white.

saintie1 · 15-01-2012, 8:51 PM

My daughter discussing Santa at school. One kids says he isn't real it's your parents. She replied it can't be there're too skint to afford anything!

Jenn · 16-01-2012, 9:51 AM

My husband and I have started to play Skyrim on the computer when our son is in bed. On Saturday he got up from his nap and walked in wanting to play as well.
We both turned our games off and he wasn't pleased.
At night when I put him to bed he said "Mummy... I'm very disappointed in you and Daddy...". I asked why and he replied "Because you don't share (the computer game)".

On Sunday we were outside tidying the garden and our son was running about. When we finished he said "I'm proud of you both, you've done a good job today"

Kel_1981 · 17-01-2012, 2:04 AM

My little girl who is five told me she had a dream about a skeleton, I asked "what did it do? Did it say anything?" She said "nooooo, it's a skeleton! Skeletons can't talk daddy, they don't have this!" *points at her neck to indicate vocal cords I think*

I felt like a right spanner! Bloody smartarse!

13-01-2012, 5:38 AM	#27
rich tee Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: Bristol Thanks: Gave 51, Got 4 Posts: 369	Milk The local scout troop were collecting plastic tops off of milk bottles at my son's primary school, they only wanted semi skimmed green tops I said to my son the milk they give you at school is the blue one isn't it, he replied No it's white.
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08-10-2011, 10:38 PM	#2
Desmo Conspicuous Member Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Braintree, Essex. Thanks: Gave 583, Got 1,250 Posts: 8,661
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11-10-2011, 6:48 PM	#4
IronGiant Moderator Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Oxford UK Thanks: Gave 4,375, Got 8,342 Posts: 29,130	Brilliant...
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17-10-2011, 9:26 AM	#6
Doug the D Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Thanks: Gave 1,388, Got 294 Posts: 1,122	Absolute genius! I'm awaiting the episode where the Doctor knocks on peoples doors, asking if they want a driveway tarmacced!
	Quote

17-10-2011, 9:44 AM	#7
Doug the D Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Thanks: Gave 1,388, Got 294 Posts: 1,122	I thought the thread title sounded like the first line of a joke...Kids!
	Quote

01-12-2011, 7:40 PM	#9
shodan Veteran Member Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: shoeburyness Thanks: Gave 429, Got 843 Posts: 5,917	My four year old today pretending to be a witch.. "Hubble bubble, toilet trouble"...
	Quote

02-12-2011, 9:35 AM	#11
Jenn Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Thanks: Gave 400, Got 1,280 Posts: 6,894	Last week my son came out of the toilets telling me "Don't go in there, it's tosskit". It's what? TOSS KIT ! He meant "toxic" and just because he did a no2 Also his dad bumped him while walking past him, so he said sorry, for our son to reply sternly "You should be!"
	Quote

07-12-2011, 10:19 PM	#12
7ewis Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Thanks: Gave 20, Got 13 Posts: 761	Hahah :P my parents told me that I used to call 'Kentucky(?) Fried Chicken' KFC, 'Frucky Tie Chicken' because I didn't know how to pronounce it, or what Kentucky was :P
	Quote

07-12-2011, 11:44 PM	#13
quarry2006 Prominent Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Thanks: Gave 125, Got 187 Posts: 3,659	Yesteday morning: Me: "[Name of Son], will you move this coat off the stairs so I can come down?" Son: "You managed to get upstairs okay and the coat was there then." The boy is five and already renders me speechless.
	Quote

08-12-2011, 8:23 AM	#14
Jenn Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Thanks: Gave 400, Got 1,280 Posts: 6,894	Oh dear, I can imagine that's what's coming for us! Yesterday I asked our son what he learnt at school that day and he answered "I can't remember, my think is not up yet"
	Quote

08-12-2011, 1:08 PM	#15
jsniper Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Derby Thanks: Gave 75, Got 169 Posts: 2,449	Well I used to call spaghetti pasketi. My younger brother used to call Lee Evans elevens. (for clarification he wasn't watching it but my mum has a signed poster on the wall!)
	Quote

10-12-2011, 10:17 PM	#16
qwerty321 Veteran Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Thanks: Gave 1,822, Got 873 Posts: 6,564	My little sister used to ask for 'wee wee' when she wanted something to drink. Not sure why! Thankfully she soon started calling it Mink before managing to pronounce the word drink!
	Quote

13-12-2011, 4:47 PM	#17
Mr_Flash Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Blog Entries: 3 Thanks: Gave 143, Got 288 Posts: 2,084	Not just kids. My wife comes out with some belters. Best yet is this Driving on Motorway. She says "What's all those blokes doing with metal detectors" "You mean the ones strimming the banking" i replied
	Quote

14-12-2011, 9:48 PM	#18
Toasty Veteran Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Staffs Thanks: Gave 405, Got 526 Posts: 6,015	My daughter said recently, "That's not Santa, he's got a fag in his mouth"
	Quote

14-12-2011, 11:11 PM	#19
shodan Veteran Member Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: shoeburyness Thanks: Gave 429, Got 843 Posts: 5,917	My four year olds Nativity play today. (I'm so proud, he was definately the best snow flake there) and he was singing the "Goodby Song".. Goodbye, farewell, To the loo..... I'm pretty sure it was meant to be Toodleloo
	Quote

19-12-2011, 4:56 PM	#20
Jenn Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Thanks: Gave 400, Got 1,280 Posts: 6,894	Today I aske dmy son if he knows how many days are left before Christmas. Then he asks me: "What's after Christmas?" Me: "After Christmas is Boxing Day" My son: "Daddy does boxing on that day??"
	Quote

03-01-2012, 9:35 PM	#21
Nabs Member Join Date: Feb 2004 Thanks: Gave 38, Got 10 Posts: 738	My daughter 2 yr old who wanted to play wish me when I needed to use the bathroom, 'Daddy I do not want you to poop never ever.....' or When I returned from work and said 'okay who missed daddy?....' has the reply from her '..... not anyone'
	Quote

04-01-2012, 2:21 PM	#22
Paul_T Conspicuous Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Blog Entries: 6 Thanks: Gave 198, Got 754 Posts: 8,604	My 3yr old while going through toilet training couldn't go unless you were holding her hand, and on some occasions when she was struggling to "force one out" needed to have her arms round your neck as if giving a cuddle. So, on one of these occasions, while reluctantly cuddling a 2 yr old sitting on the toilet I kept asking if she'd finished to which she repeatedly answered "not yet daddy" when she started giving me a running commentary... "it's coming, daddy.... it's coming.... ...I can hear it, daddy... I can hear it... ...it's coming out of my bum, daddy! it's coming out of my bum! I CAN HEAR IT COMING OUT OF MY BUM DADDY!! I CAN HEAR IT COMING OUT OF MY BUM!!!!"
	Quote

04-01-2012, 2:45 PM	#23
Desmo Conspicuous Member Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Braintree, Essex. Thanks: Gave 583, Got 1,250 Posts: 8,661
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04-01-2012, 3:10 PM	#24
Paul_T Conspicuous Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Blog Entries: 6 Thanks: Gave 198, Got 754 Posts: 8,604	my lad used to watch dora the explorer - for anyone who doesn't know, being an american programme they usually try to include a bit of spanish for the kids to learn, whenever dora has some fruit she'll tend to say "mmm, delicioso!" only my son thinks she says "mmm dirty arseholes!"
	Quote

04-01-2012, 3:21 PM	#25
Jenn Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Thanks: Gave 400, Got 1,280 Posts: 6,894	One that comes up every so often is that my son on some words tends to pronounce L as R. It becomes interesting when my son tells us he was 'clapping'
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Funny things the kids have said

04-01-2012, 5:23 PM	#26
shodan Veteran Member Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: shoeburyness Thanks: Gave 429, Got 843 Posts: 5,917	My two year old caused a few raised eyebrows and chuckles at the weekend. We were round my parents for Sunday dinner when Eve decided she wanted dinner. She got herself on the chair at the dining table and started shouting "Grandad"!! Grandad came out of the kitchen and went to her and she said "What you doing Grandad"? He told her he was cooking her dinner and he went out the the kitchen again. She called to him again a few minutes later, "Grandad!!!" and he came out again to her. She said "Dinner ready now grandad?".... When she got her dinner she said " Mmmmm delicious" absolutely as clear as a bell! She only turned 2 in November! The other thing that amused me that day was my boy trying to say Anemone. Was just like the bit in Finding Nemo... He sounded like a cat trying to miaow with a mouth full of toffee...
	Quote

15-01-2012, 8:51 PM	#28
saintie1 Member Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: highland Thanks: Gave 0, Got 11 Posts: 127	My daughter discussing Santa at school. One kids says he isn't real it's your parents. She replied it can't be there're too skint to afford anything!
	Quote

16-01-2012, 9:51 AM	#29
Jenn Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Thanks: Gave 400, Got 1,280 Posts: 6,894	My husband and I have started to play Skyrim on the computer when our son is in bed. On Saturday he got up from his nap and walked in wanting to play as well. We both turned our games off and he wasn't pleased. At night when I put him to bed he said "Mummy... I'm very disappointed in you and Daddy...". I asked why and he replied "Because you don't share (the computer game)". On Sunday we were outside tidying the garden and our son was running about. When we finished he said "I'm proud of you both, you've done a good job today"
	Quote

17-01-2012, 2:04 AM	#30
Kel_1981 Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Southend-On-Sea Thanks: Gave 6, Got 7 Posts: 73	My little girl who is five told me she had a dream about a skeleton, I asked "what did it do? Did it say anything?" She said "nooooo, it's a skeleton! Skeletons can't talk daddy, they don't have this!" points at her neck to indicate vocal cords I think I felt like a right spanner! Bloody smartarse!
	Quote