[Dony]

Originally Posted by Jenn

I don't know if it's a case of culture or just my family but when we were children, we would get 1-3 presents at most from our parents (as far as I know anyway) with one main one and then something smaller.
The value I don't think mattered so much but I don't think they ever spent £200 on either of us (although in the 80s £200 would have been worth more than now).

I believe the main reason though was that we spent every Xmas with the whole family and presents were received on Xmas eve (Santa visiting us in person and all) so you'd have a pile of presents anyway (Grand parents, uncles and aunts etc.).
One year blankets were put on the floor in the large hallway so the kids could get their toys there and play because there wasn't enough room in the lounge.
Good times

Good times indeed.
We have a family tradition that goes back as long as I can remember (I'm 41), when we would all go to my grand mothers house the Sunday before Christmas and the aunts and uncles would share out presents to the children. My mother is the eldest of 14 children so you can imagine how many of us would squeeze into a terraced house.
When my grandmother passed away, my mum continued with the tradition with her 10 grand children. It's known as Santa Sunday and takes place in a few days. I almost enjoy it more than Christmas Day itself.

[quarry2006]

Originally Posted by Dony

I've also no idea why anyone would spend a coupla grand either.

Funny, I don't recall asking your opinion

Seeing as you felt the need to comment, though, my kids have lost both their grandparents within five years so I suppose I'm compensating for that.

[Desmo]

Any of you guys thought of doing this?

YouTube Challenge - I Gave My Kids a Terrible Present - YouTube

[Dony]

Originally Posted by quarry2006

Funny, I don't recall asking your opinion

Seeing as you felt the need to comment, though, my kids have lost both their grandparents within five years so I suppose I'm compensating for that.

You don't have to ask my opinion....it's a public forum. And the only reason I commented was your post came across to me as loadsamoney type statement with your turn of phrase.

Sorry for your kids (and your) loss. I wasn't to know.

[quarry2006]

I am far from a loadsamoney type, believe me!

We got an interim payment from my dad's will and I used that money to give my family a Christmas they'll remember. Sorry if my "coupla grand" comment appeared glib; I can see why it would if you didn't know the backstory (which I've divulged elsewhere on the forum over the past few months).

Peace

[quarry2006]

Originally Posted by Desmo

Any of you guys thought of doing this?

YouTube Challenge - I Gave My Kids a Terrible Present - YouTube

I think I'm going to try this although I suspect my kids will find it really funny and the joke will be on me

[quarry2006]

I've just got the kids' presents out of the loft for the wife to wrap (now that's co-operation!). It took me six trips. Only now do I realise that we have bought them far too many things. My fault entirely, compensating for the presents that they won't get from my folks and going a bit mad with the money left to us.

So, executive decision made: my daughter's birthday is in January, my boy's is in February, so back up to the loft with some of the presents. End result: they won't be overly spoiled at Christmas and the wife and I won't have to wonder what to get them for their respective birthdays.

[Desmo]

I think that's a great move quarry

[quarry2006]

Cheers, mate

[Clarky5000]

My daughter is six so still firmly believing in Santa.

Hilarious quote from her today that I thought I'd share.

"I know why parents like Christmas. Because for once they don't have to spend any money because Santa gets everything"

I just smiled and said "that's true sweetheart"

[Jenn]

Brilliant

[quarry2006]

Whilst I don't believe any conscience can be entirely clear, I actually do a lot of performances throughout the year for charity (or is that "charidee"?) and capped the year off with a peformance for my daughter's school two weeks ago, free and gratis, with all the money from ticket sales going towards the school.

So, in all fairness, I spend the whole year making sure people less fortunate than me and mine benefit.

That doesn't mean I can't do more - we can all do more - but I at least do something. Your point is sound, Decadence

[themediaman]

Originally Posted by sniffer66

This was my first effort in 2005 - I've gotten a little more artistic since then (and we've gotten rid of the blue carpet, and the sofas, and the plasma, stand and light painted walls)

Still got the kids sacks with their names embroidered on though

This will be getting used, well done.............

[kav]

Our kids were delighted with their Christmas presents, they have been really enjoying them. However, they went back to school yesterday, and when she came home, my daughter (who is seven) said to my wife "Mummy I think this year I will ask Santa for a laptop, a tv for my bedroom, and an iPhone."

Utter madness IMO, but it turns out that two girls and a boy in her class got exactly this for Christmas. She's never shown any interest in any of these things until yesterday. Maybe I am old-fashioned but aside from it being a ridiculous amount of money (well over £1k on just three presents), I also don't think there's any need for all of that at her age. She's still playing with dolls ***.

Annoyingly though, this keeping up with the Joneses thing that some parents have makes it awkward for other parents when our children see them getting the best of everything. (And bizarrely, though it's a topic for another thread, all three of the families whose kids got those presents have at least one parent on benefits - I'm on a pretty good wage and I couldn't afford to spend that much even if I wanted to. I don't know how they manage it. Credit maybe.)

[Jenn]

Originally Posted by kav

Our kids were delighted with their Christmas presents, they have been really enjoying them. However, they went back to school yesterday, and when she came home, my daughter (who is seven) said to my wife "Mummy I think this year I will ask Santa for a laptop, a tv for my bedroom, and an iPhone."

Utter madness IMO, but it turns out that two girls and a boy in her class got exactly this for Christmas. She's never shown any interest in any of these things until yesterday. Maybe I am old-fashioned but aside from it being a ridiculous amount of money (well over £1k on just three presents), I also don't think there's any need for all of that at her age. She's still playing with dolls ***.

Annoyingly though, this keeping up with the Joneses thing that some parents have makes it awkward for other parents when our children see them getting the best of everything. (And bizarrely, though it's a topic for another thread, all three of the families whose kids got those presents have at least one parent on benefits - I'm on a pretty good wage and I couldn't afford to spend that much even if I wanted to. I don't know how they manage it. Credit maybe.)

Did they all get all of that or did each get one of these items? It's quite a difference.

My 4 year old casually asked to have a TV in his bedroom. I said no and he mentioned his school friend who has one. I just told him that it's her and that we have enough TVs in the house that he can watch.
Same with an iphone/ipad. He plays with mine a lot but if he asked for his own I'd tell him to use the ones in the house until he's older. Then it would be his main present and that's it.

I know we always try to make our children happy but I don't follow on what other parents do. I stick to my principles and my son is taught that.
To be fair he asks for stuff he likes but he doesn't tantrum if he doesn't get it. We just use it as a reward system.

So if there's something you want your daughter to achieve like say high grades etc. just say she will get one of the things if and when she achieves a target. So they feel it's up to them then.

[kav]

Each child got an iPhone, a tv for their bedroom and a laptop.

To be fair, she's not making a fuss about it, and I know she won't. Just thought it was worth mentioning here as some people were talking about going overboard. Also I didn't mention but that wasn't the only stuff these kids got - those things were just their "main" present.

I'm just annoyed that the idea was planted in my daughter's head by kids whose parents seem to live hand to mouth in many respects.

[Jenn]

Originally Posted by kav

I'm just annoyed that the idea was planted in my daughter's head by kids whose parents seem to live hand to mouth in many respects.

Well with children it's a bit like that for everything.
They pick up attitudes and ideas from other children at school and you end up having to teach them not to do stuff other parents let their children do.

At nursery I'm talking scratching, spitting, talking back with an aggressive tone.

[neilios]

Originally Posted by kav

Each child got an iPhone, a tv for their bedroom and a laptop.

To be fair, she's not making a fuss about it, and I know she won't. Just thought it was worth mentioning here as some people were talking about going overboard. Also I didn't mention but that wasn't the only stuff these kids got - those things were just their "main" present.

I'm just annoyed that the idea was planted in my daughter's head by kids whose parents seem to live hand to mouth in many respects.

Wow thats some rather expensive gifts for children so young,why on earth some parents think that electronic gadgets can replace time with their own children is beyond me..
To think my favourite toy was a football..

We spend on presents what we can afford and nothing more,nice to see grandparents buying charlotte lots of books rather than those stupid vtech things..
I bought my other daughter who's 14 some perfume ,her mother bought her a laptop...

[campy mccamper]

I bought my 5 year old son a 3ds and mario land for Christmas which was meant to be his main present with a few books as well. The inlaws who are not even my sons real grandparents spent £350 on him, £150 in star wars lego alone. This despite me asking them not to spoil him.

He gets £2.50 a week pocket money for helping around the house, now we are battling with him because santa will bring him everything he wants at Christmas

[campy mccamper]

Originally Posted by kav

Our kids were delighted with their Christmas presents, they have been really enjoying them. However, they went back to school yesterday, and when she came home, my daughter (who is seven) said to my wife "Mummy I think this year I will ask Santa for a laptop, a tv for my bedroom, and an iPhone."

Utter madness IMO, but it turns out that two girls and a boy in her class got exactly this for Christmas. She's never shown any interest in any of these things until yesterday. Maybe I am old-fashioned but aside from it being a ridiculous amount of money (well over £1k on just three presents), I also don't think there's any need for all of that at her age. She's still playing with dolls ***.

Annoyingly though, this keeping up with the Joneses thing that some parents have makes it awkward for other parents when our children see them getting the best of everything. (And bizarrely, though it's a topic for another thread, all three of the families whose kids got those presents have at least one parent on benefits - I'm on a pretty good wage and I couldn't afford to spend that much even if I wanted to. I don't know how they manage it. Credit maybe.)

My girlfriends cousin is 32 and has never worked, yet her two children have it all. it may be all on tick but they seem to be living better than a middle income family. As you say though that discussion it's for another thread.

[Jenn]

Originally Posted by neilios

Wow thats some rather expensive gifts for children so young,why on earth some parents think that electronic gadgets can replace time with their own children is beyond me..
To think my favourite toy was a football..

We spend on presents what we can afford and nothing more,nice to see garndparents buying charlotte lots of books rather than those stupid vtech things..
I bought my other daughter who's 14 some perfume ,her mother bought her a laptop...

To be fair, buying your kids an electronic gadget is not synonym of not spending time with them. It would be unfair to assume so.

And I don't see why a book would be any different to say a "stupid" Vtech Storio which is basically an interactive book. If anything, it gets younger children interested in words.
My son has both a mountain of real books and a Storio and apps on the iPad (my iPad). I don't believe the "old style" and "modern gadgets" are mutually exclusive.

[stoomc]

Originally Posted by Jenn

To be fair, buying your kids an electronic gadget is not synonym of not spending time with them. It would be unfair to assume so.

And I don't see why a book would be any different to say a "stupid" Vtech Storio which is basically an interactive book. If anything, it gets younger children interested in words.
My son has both a mountain of real books and a Storio and apps on the iPad (my iPad). I don't believe the "old style" and "modern gadgets" are mutually exclusive.

Agree with everything you just said, I really don't know what Neilios is getting at to be honest.

[neilios]

Originally Posted by stooshee

Agree with everything you just said, I really don't know what Neilios is getting at to be honest.

My point was the needless lavishing of technology and expensive gifts on young children is a waste of their time and parents money..the want ,want ,want generation..

My second point was about the appleization of childrens education,and activities,which ties in with the above...

[Jenn]

Originally Posted by neilios

My point was the needless lavishing of technology and expensive gifts on young children is a waste of their time and parents money..the want ,want ,want generation..

My second point was about the appleization of childrens education,and activities,which ties in with the above...

Most schools have interactive whiteboards in classrooms, plugged in to a computer, coupled with a projector. Do you object to that as well because good old blackboards and chalk worked fine?

The main reason parents use Apple products like the iPad is because it's a good product. There is a huge number of apps for children, be it games or educational, that can be had for very little money or free. My son who is at nursery currently likes to "play" with an app that makes him spell words. Another one teaches him how to write letters properly. We spend time assisting him but he sometimes does it on his own because he likes it.

It's not a question of want, want, want. Young children in particular have no concept of cost so if they see something they like, they say "I want", it's natural. Then it's up to the parents to deal with it appropriately.
If you buy them everything they want, they'll want more. If you buy them what is reasonable and teach them to be patient or work towards getting what they want, it's a lesson in life and hopefully they'll learn the value of things.

[IronGiant]

Originally Posted by Jenn

To be fair, buying your kids an electronic gadget is not synonym of not spending time with them. It would be unfair to assume so.

And I don't see why a book would be any different to say a "stupid" Vtech Storio which is basically an interactive book. If anything, it gets younger children interested in words.
My son has both a mountain of real books and a Storio and apps on the iPad (my iPad). I don't believe the "old style" and "modern gadgets" are mutually exclusive.

They aren't necessarily mutually additive either, so if someone is on a budget, there is no need for modern gadgets which, if we are honest, are expensive. If you can afford them they are certainly not "stupid" though. my children got a mix of old and new tech this year.

[neilios]

Originally Posted by Jenn

Most schools have interactive whiteboards in classrooms, plugged in to a computer, coupled with a projector. Do you object to that as well because good old blackboards and chalk worked fine?

The main reason parents use Apple products like the iPad is because it's a good product. There is a huge number of apps for children, be it games or educational, that can be had for very little money or free. My son who is at nursery currently likes to "play" with an app that makes him spell words. Another one teaches him how to write letters properly. We spend time assisting him but he sometimes does it on his own because he likes it.

It's not a question of want, want, want. Young children in particular have no concept of cost so if they see something they like, they say "I want", it's natural. Then it's up to the parents to deal with it appropriately.
If you buy them everything they want, they'll want more. If you buy them what is reasonable and teach them to be patient or work towards getting what they want, it's a lesson in life and hopefully they'll learn the value of things.

Yes of course we all know since the introduction of computers into the classroom our children are now somehow more magically educated than ever before.
I feel that learning to use digital technology is very easy and can be taught very quickly...
Learning the fine motor skills needed to read and write correctly,communicate,and play takes time and the concentrated thinking and skills needed using more traditonal methods is the one i'll be using..

I have no doubt the virtual world is an important part of life now ,but there's not a chance my kids will be pushed to being a consumer of products made by a corporation however good they look...Apple and others like them just want our money and infants ,babies etc are just another customer...

[Jenn]

Originally Posted by IronGiant

They aren't necessarily mutually additive either, so if someone is on a budget, there is no need for modern gadgets which, if we are honest, are expensive. If you can afford them they are certainly not "stupid" though. my children got a mix of old and new tech this year.

Of course not, there is no obligation to buy the gadgets.
What I objected to was to make them sound like a waste of money or call parents who buy them lazy or say they don't give their children any time etc. It's just ridiculous.

Originally Posted by neilios

Yes of course we all know since the introduction of computers into the classroom our children are now somehow more magically educated than ever before.
I feel that learning to use digital technology is very easy and can be taught very quickly...
Learning the fine motor skills needed to read and write correctly,communicate,and play takes time and the concentrated thinking and skills needed using more traditonal methods is the one i'll be using..

I have no doubt the virtual world is an important part of life now ,but there's not a chance my kids will be pushed to being a consumer of products made by a corporation however good they look...Apple and others like them just want our money and infants ,babies etc are just another customer...

I wouldn't comment on how educated children are now compared to the old days. Any difference has probably more to do with the quality of teaching rather than the tools used. However school doesn't have to be boring and tedious and computers, projector and interactive whiteboards have opened a world of possibilities. Children can see stuff they never would have before, they can interact and have a more active involvement in lessons, they can be amazed.
The point is not learning how to use the technology itself, it's what you can learn using this technology. It makes it easier.

I don't have an issue with traditional methods of pen and paper, but I frankly don't see why it would work better or worse than using a digital pen on a digital surface. That just sounds like people refusing to modernise for no good reason.

Do you feel that parents in the 60s pushed their kids to be consumers of products made by corporations when they bought TVs? How about consoles? How about cars?

As for your last point, I just have to laugh. What do you think book publishers and writers are in it for? For the fun of it or with the purpose of selling books and make money? It doesn't make them evil!

[Toasty]

I feel real old fashioned reading some of this, our kids got bikes, books, board games, the odd console game and DVD. The boardgames have trumped the video games too in some instances and we've had a great time.

That said, they're not lacking access to latest technology either.

[neilios]

Originally Posted by Jenn

Of course not, there is no obligation to buy the gadgets.
What I objected to was to make them sound like a waste of money or call parents who buy them lazy or say they don't give their children any time etc. It's just ridiculous.



I wouldn't comment on how educated children are now compared to the old days. Any difference has probably more to do with the quality of teaching rather than the tools used. However school doesn't have to be boring and tedious and computers, projector and interactive whiteboards have opened a world of possibilities. Children can see stuff they never would have before, they can interact and have a more active involvement in lessons, they can be amazed.
The point is not learning how to use the technology itself, it's what you can learn using this technology. It makes it easier.

I don't have an issue with traditional methods of pen and paper, but I frankly don't see why it would work better or worse than using a digital pen on a digital surface. That just sounds like people refusing to modernise for no good reason.

Do you feel that parents in the 60s pushed their kids to be consumers of products made by corporations when they bought TVs? How about consoles? How about cars?

As for your last point, I just have to laugh. What do you think book publishers and writers are in it for? For the fun of it or with the purpose of selling books and make money? It doesn't make them evil!

I think its going a little of course now but ,just a few points, learning to write using traditional methods eg pen and paper ,pencil,etc, give the writer a sense of accomplishment,typing, digital, is just the computer doing it..

We all know that some technology is revolutionary and can help some tasks seem easier and even have many beneficial aspects for our lives,but unfortunatley i dont believe we can sit our kids infront of a computer for 6 hrs a day and then expect them to turn out to be highly educated imaginative motivated citizens with a good work ethic and skills needed both in a practical sense and a academic sense for their life ahead...

As for the excessive present senario,a parent child bond is primarily built thru spiritual and emotional means not lavishing huge amounts of money or presents,how do we teach our kids the value of these expensive items that take hrs of hard work,a laptop and a tv and a iphone for a child is just ridiculous..
Kids happiness and self worth should come from their intelligence, their creativity, their caring, their giving, their work ethic, not by what label or brand or wether they have the latest gadgets for chrimbo...

Since me and the ex split up she has excessively spoilt our daughter to the point now where she wonders why there's no respect in the relationship,macbook this,iphone ,allsaints,so and so's got this etc,etc,etc...she gets it all and is she still happy....

[Jenn]

I just don't understand why people insist on thinking it's one or the other, all or nothing.

Having an iPad,iPhone,TV,console,computer in the house doesn't mean a child will be plonked on a sofa with a bag of crisps and the iPad for 6 hours a day and that he can't have a bike, books and board games?!

We've (the adults in the house) got an iPad, iPhones, several computers, several TVs and consoles that our 4 year old uses. They aren't his, they're ours but he has access to them.
Yet his bedroom is filled with books (so much so I don't know where to put them anymore). At Christmas we gave him 5 books as well as his toys. He also got a puzzle, and has board games, legos, stickle bricks, wood blocks, a collection of Thomas take and play trains and tracks etc. He also has a bike and a scooter.
He's also seen quails and chickens hatch, he helps his dad with the chickens, he's been fishing (although he and I got seasick) as well as observing tropical fish in the indian ocean.
He speaks a little bit of french, can count, add and substract, he can read quite a few words and spell them from memory. He knew the alphabet and to count to 10 in english and french at 2 years old just from playing with me.

I was taught in "privileged" schools (in the 80s, no technology!) until I was 10 years old and that gave me an advantage when I later joined the "normal" schools. Yet I started learning to read, write and count at 6 years old, so my son has 2 years on me so far.

I'm going on but I can't stress enough how technology is not bad. If parents fail in their responsibilities, it's their fault, not the tech! I'd rather my son has access to everything available (if I can afford it obviously) so he has as much knowledge as he can and is not limited in life.

Side note: the digital writing I was talking about wasn't typing on a keyboard but tracing the shape of each letter with a pen or finger.