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19-05-2005, 4:18 PM
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#1 (permalink)
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Ex Member
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A tosspot writes...
Just stumbled on this while on Amazon.
Funniest thing I have read in ages. Check out his reviews for "Sgt Pepper", "Pet Sounds" and Blonde On Blonde".
The reviews of "Fight Club" and "2001" are a hoot too.
Note how in the header he describes himself as a "Teenage Genious" - while failing to spell the word "genius" correctly. 
The entire downside of The Internet condensed into three glorious pages!
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19-05-2005, 4:22 PM
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#2 (permalink)
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He is obviously a wind-up merchant.
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Only when the last tree has died and the last river been poisoned and the last fish been caught will we realise we cannot eat money.
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19-05-2005, 4:25 PM
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#3 (permalink)
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He gave ***** to 'Kangaroo Jack'
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Only when the last tree has died and the last river been poisoned and the last fish been caught will we realise we cannot eat money.
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19-05-2005, 4:25 PM
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#4 (permalink)
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Ex Member
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My impression at first, but after having read everything on there I'm not so sure.
He's American, a teenager and he's on The Internet. How scary is that? 
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19-05-2005, 4:41 PM
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#5 (permalink)
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What a ja-fool.
I like how he puts "later." at the end of each verbal excretion like he's got a fanbase who are waiting to see what he'll write next!
nice stumble, the-pauley
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19-05-2005, 4:43 PM
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#6 (permalink)
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Mroizouk
I like how he puts "later." at the end of each verbal excretion like he's got a fanbase who are waiting to see what he'll write next!
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haha, and here's us reading it!
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19-05-2005, 4:51 PM
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#7 (permalink)
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Ex Member
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I'm his Number One fan... 
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19-05-2005, 6:04 PM
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#8 (permalink)
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Prominent Member
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His review of 2001 is a must read
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19-05-2005, 6:13 PM
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#9 (permalink)
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love the review of fight club..
"Anyways, if I were you I would only get this DVD to fast forward to all the great fighting, skip all of the long talking parts, and all parts with the girl because they will bore you to death."
by 'long talking parts' i assume he means the plot?
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19-05-2005, 6:35 PM
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#10 (permalink)
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by amazon tosspot
However, there were far too many boring talking parts that were WAY over your average viewers head (even mine).
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Yeah, Fight Club really is marred by all the over-complicated scenes of characters talking . If this sage reviewer can't make out the dull talking parts, what hope is there for the rest of us?
Gotta love this comment from the Donnie Darko director's cut review:
Quote:
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Originally Posted by amazon tosspot
First things first, when I rent a movie that I hear involves Mr. Swayze, I automatically assume that he will be featured in the lead role. Patrick is a major player that shouldn't be pushed to such a small part in favor of the kid from Spiderman. Where as this kid just mumbled and drooped his way through the Donnie Darko part, Patrick Swayze would have provided much more life and charisma which was sorely lacking.
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Is he suggesting Donnie should have been played by Patrick Swayze?
I'll be looking out for this guy in future. Cracking! 
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19-05-2005, 6:42 PM
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#11 (permalink)
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Mroizouk
Yeah, Fight Club really is marred by all the over-complicated scenes of characters talking . If this sage reviewer can't make out the dull talking parts, what hope is there for the rest of us?
Gotta love this comment from the Donnie Darko director's cut review:
Is he suggesting Donnie should have been played by Patrick Swayze?
I'll be looking out for this guy in future. Cracking! |
get the feeling he missed the point? donnie was meant to me dreary as he was depressed and on all kinds of meds, and who the heck did jake gyllenhall play in spiderman?
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19-05-2005, 9:51 PM
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#12 (permalink)
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Member
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genius-sorry genious!!! i haven't read them all yet, but yes, he's obviously a bit of a comedian. he reviewed a lawnmower for god's sake!! nice to see someone taking the whole review thing to it's true level of meaninglesness (is that a word?).
the sad thing is, the real middle-american teenagers who will read them and take them seriously...and yes, the uk, and the rest of the world, has middle american teenagers now. lars von trier isn't wrong (on that anyway).
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19-05-2005, 10:26 PM
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#13 (permalink)
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Member
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you gotta read his finding nemo review, i'll never see it again without thinking "filet o' fish", bwah ha ha...
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19-05-2005, 11:57 PM
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#14 (permalink)
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by manny
the sad thing is, the real middle-american teenagers who will read them and take them seriously
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Well, a total of 63 people thought he was helpful ......
out of 540!!!!
I think he's after Paul Ross' job!
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20-05-2005, 12:28 AM
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#15 (permalink)
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Ex Member
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I've been reading again and I've changed my mind. I think it's a spoof.
Too articulate at times for one so inarticulate at other times.
We could be in at the birth of a cult figure. 
Or maybe it's real... 
I dunno.
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