[Westindieman]

My girlfriend came back upset after seeing her solicitor today. Basically she spilt 5 years ago from her abusive ex who also got them into loads of debt. When they first split she left the house with the 2 kids after one of his sessions. She lived in rented accomodation for a while and eventually negotiated through solicitors that she should go back to the family home and he should leave. At that time the home was under threat of being repossesed, she sorted the arrears because the ex was living on benefits and the agreement negotiated was that he should leave all appliances and furniture. When the kids left school the property would be sold and split 60/40 in her favour.
The tosspot though left and took all apliances (leaving dangerous electrical wires exposed after removing the cooker). She did later get him to return the cooker but nothing else as she didnt want to keep making a fuss.

Down to present day, he is still milking the benefits system to the extent of claiming incompacity benefits (I saw a bank statement which came via solicitor and he is getting at least £900PM and getting his rent paid) has us laughing but it cant be proved he shouldnt be getting them.

Anyway we want to live together and I have about 40K in savings but dont want to get involved in that financial entanglement untill she is financially free from him. The property has equity in it but I dont want to work on it to increase the value for him to benefit. She made an offer of about 15% (which would be the limit she could get a morgage for) to buy him out a couple of years ago and he rejected it. She has been discussing with the solicitor going to court to fight to decrease his share, but the solicitor points out that the agreement made before is legal and binding and though she has settled the large debts, and he didnt keep his agreement to leave all the stuff in the house, those things cant be taken into consideration.

We dont believe he will agree to sell as his benefits will be affected and the housing market wont give the best prices at the moment, and the solicitor says he cant be forced to sell. The property doesnt have to be sold for at least another 4 years when the last one of their kids has finished all schooling.

We are racking our brains trying to decide what to do for the best. She has mentioned defaulting on the morgage and forcing repossesion, but she would find it difficult to get a morgage in future. It may come down her negotiating and seeing what amount he would agree to to be bought out and then I would have to use my money, but its not my ideal situation.
We were wondering though as she gets family credit at the moment. If she did manage to pursuade him to sell, or if it was repossesed and she banked some money from that and went to rent for a while, would it affect her family credit?

Forgot to say that ideally I wouldnt want to live there because it was their family home and it wouldnt feel like a shared home to me with teenage kids wanting to keep the same lax freedom they had in their home. I would want her to sell and we buy our home.

[signs]

If she loves you , tell her to walk away, and the pair of you start afresh .

[lowmans100]

Let the ex live there & charge him rent (paid by the benefits system) to cover the mortgage and then sell in 4 years.

You & your girlfriend then do what you want.

[signs]

Originally Posted by lowmans100

Let the ex live there & charge him rent (paid by the benefits system) to cover the mortgage and then sell in 4 years.

You & your girlfriend then do what you want.

I can see what your saying ,but there will always be a connection , better to sever it for good surly ?

[whiskyboozer]

Originally Posted by lowmans100

Let the ex live there & charge him rent (paid by the benefits system) to cover the mortgage and then sell in 4 years.

You & your girlfriend then do what you want.

Sadly it will not be so straightforward as local authorities take a dim view of contrived tenancies.

[lowmans100]

Originally Posted by signs

I can see what your saying ,but there will always be a connection , better to sever it for good surly ?

There will always be a connection, they have kids, and from what the OP wrote the house cannot be sold for at least 4 years.

There is also a 60/40 commitment on the house value and I would suspect even if she defaulted on the mortgage she would still be liable for the 40% equity value of the property.

[signs]

Originally Posted by lowmans100

There will always be a connection, they have kids,

In an ideal world yes ,but i know (unfortunately) two "Fathers" who have walked away from their Kids (for reasons i don't understand )

I still think a clean break is for the best

[kopchoir]

If you have 40k in savings then if he is claiming benefits bung him 5k or whatever the amount is relevant to the house minus a few quid as your paying him cash im sure he will sign naything you want him to sign a few grand in your back pocket instantly always goes a long way.
All in all it cost me around 20k about 7 years ago that was a shed load of cash back then for me but worth it bung him a few quid without going through a solciitor but make sure eh signs anything before he gets a penny tehre are other ways

[ducattigezzer]

the hardest thing with this is your sort of piggy in the middle.

a easy way would be try and buy him off but it will only come and haunt you later on.

the hardest would be for her just to walk away,yes it will be hard and will efect her getting credit in the next 5 or so years but she'll be free to be with you

and on that note it all depends on where the both of you are in this relationship as to it working or not.

thats the dilema

i know where your coming from and its a rocky road ,i didn't make it but i know a few who have

so good luck and i hope it works out

[JagoPlasma]

If she can't buy him out can't she sell her share? I don't think even a contract could legally oblige her to keep her share.

Also if she defaults then she is more than likely to not get a penny from the dirt cheap sale and have to make up the shortfall between cost of the mortgage and the sale. Plus she will have a bad credit file for 6 years