[steptoe]

just to lighten it up a bit,(can be used both ways) i was sent this by a freind in the u.s

Best One yet!

Little Mary Pat had a box of very small kittens that she was trying
to give away, so she had them out on the street corner with a sign

'FREE KITTENS' next to them.

Suddenly a big line of big black cars came up with a policeman
on a motorcycle in front.

The cars all stopped and a tall man stepped out from the
biggest car. It's Senator Obama.

'Hi, little girl, what do you have there in the box?' he asked.

'Kittens' Little Mary Pat says. 'They're so small, their eyes
are not even open yet.'

'What kind of kittens are they?' he asked.

'Democrats' says Little Mary Pat.

The tall man smiled, returned to his car and they drove away.
Sensing a good photo opportunity, Sen. Obama called his campaign
manager and told him about the little girl and the kittens.

It was planned that they would return the next day, have all
the media there and tell everyone about these great kittens.

The next day, Little Mary Pat is standing out on the corner
with her box of kittens with the 'FREE KITTENS' sign and the big
motorcade of black cars pulled up with all the vans and trucks from
ABC, NBC, CBS, BET and CNN but no FOX for some reason..

Everyone had their cameras ready and then, Sen. Obama got out
of his limo and walked up to Little Mary Pat.

'Now, don't be frightened,' he said, 'I just want you to tell
all these nice news people just what kind of kittens you're giving
away today.'

'Yes sir,' Mary Pat said, 'They are all REPUBLICAN kittens.'

Taken by surprise, Sen. Obama said, 'But yesterday, you told me
that they were DEMOCRATS.'

Little Mary Pat says, 'Yes, I know. But today, they have their
eyes open.'

LET'S HOPE AMERICA OPENS THEIR EYES BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE!

[Fred Quimby]

[krish]

the story, as reported by Fox News, then takes a horrific twist as an angry Obama stomps the cute Republican kittens to death, runs over Little Mary Pat and feeds them all to his burqua-clad wife after a making a defiant terrorist fist jab

[Noggin1980]

Originally Posted by krish

the story, as reported by Fox News, then takes a horrific twist as an angry Obama stomps the cute Republican kittens to death, runs over Little Mary Pat and feeds them all to his burqua-clad wife after a making a defiant terrorist fist jab

That happened because he'd been playing computer games when he was younger. Murder simulators you know. Good job he hadn't played mass effect or he would have raped little mary pat first.

[vader100]

aren't American political jokes great. especially when recycled on a UK forum when we have no say in who will destroy the world?

[Miyazaki]

Originally Posted by krish

the story, as reported by Fox News, then takes a horrific twist as an angry Obama stomps the cute Republican kittens to death, runs over Little Mary Pat and feeds them all to his burqua-clad wife after a making a defiant terrorist fist jab

He declar' jihad on they ass.

[krish]

Originally Posted by Games Guru

He declar' jihad on they ass.

I'm sure I heard David Duchovny say that on a very recent US episode of Californication (in response to a woman requesting him to " me like I'm Al Quaeda")




Edit ... just realised Duchovny didn't say ass, but certainly something in the kitten ballpark (... keeping this on topic )

[Miyazaki]

Originally Posted by krish

I'm sure I heard David Duchovny say that on a very recent US episode of Californication (in response to a woman requesting him to " me like I'm Al Quaeda")




Edit ... just realised Duchovny didn't say ass, but certainly something in the kitten ballpark (... keeping this on topic )

Californication is about the only new series that is any good.

What a crease.

[Singh400]

I like the post turtle. Makes you think that one does.

[steptoe]

Originally Posted by Singh400

I like the post turtle. Makes you think that one does.

i got that one as well

Subject: Post turtle
>
>
> While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75-year-old Texas
> rancher whose hand was caught in a gate while working
> cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old
> man. Eventually the topic got around to Obama and his bid to
> be our President.
>
> The old rancher said, 'Well, ya know, Obama is a
> 'post turtle.'
>
> Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what
> a 'post turtle' was.
>
> The old rancher said. 'When you're driving down a
> country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle
> balanced on top, that's a 'post turtle'.
>
> The old rancher saw a puzzled look on the doctor's
> face, so he continue to explain. 'You know he didn't
> get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up there, he
> doesn't know what to do while he is up there, and you
> just wonder what kind of idiot put him up there in the first
> place.