Worst joke ever.

[Bill Hicks]

Well someone had to get this thread started, so here goes......

A man is in a forrest and he is caught in a terrible thunderstorm. He is getting soaked to the bone. The lightning is flashing, the thunder is booming & the gails are almost blowing the trees down! He needs to find shelter quick. He comes across a creepy old house in a clearing and proceeds to knock on the front door. He knocks several times before he hears footsteps from the other side of the door approaching. The door slowly opens revealing an old crone with a candle.
"Please old lady, could you be so kind to offer me shelter for the night, so that I can get out of this terrible storm" He asks. "Very well" She replies. " I have a room on the top floor" He follows her up the creaky old stairs to the room. " I must thank you old lady for the generosity you have shown me" He says to her. She quickly lets him into the bedroom, and then without making a sound proceeds back downstairs. The man takes off his wet shoes and soaked shirt, but before he can put them both by the roaring fire he here's a strange sound............ WRAP................WRAP.................WRAP
He wonders what could be making such a weird sound. After a hasty look around he notices that it is coming from behind his bedroom door. He opens the door expecting to find the culprit standing there, but all he hears is the sound. WRAP.............WRAP...............WRAP.
He now hears that it is coming from further down the corridor, in fact it seems to be coming from behind a cupboard door. He nervously walks down the corridor and stops at the door, and from the other side he hears the unmistakable sound again! WRAP..................WRAP.....................WRA P.
He grips the door handle tightly, terrified sweaty palms almost causing his grip to fail. The pure terror obvious in his bulging red eyes. He takes a deep breath and yanks the door open! yes, yes, yes! For the love of all humanity. THERE IT WAS............................................... ............................................

[funkyspider]

Its the script for an episode of "Most Haunted".

I'm glad I didn't read that at 11:23 last night when you posted it. I'd never have got to sleep.

[RockStrongo]

Am I the only one who doesn't get this?

[GasDad]

No

[NewMan]

Err, no. No you're not...

[snellfish]

about as funny as bill hicks

[sleepyone]

I found the following mildly amusing:


There's a chap on the front door and a man answers.

'Good morning sir, i'm from tv licensing and we need to check your license'

'Oh right', said the man, 'i'm just on my way to work but my wife will get it for you, it's on the mantelpiece behind the clock.'

'Mildred, the man shouts 'come speak to the TV License man I'm off to work.'
and off he trots down the garden path

Mildred comes to the door and ask 'Yes, what can i do for you?'

'I've come to check your TV license,' he says, 'I believe its on the mantelpiece behind the clock'

Mildred looks impressed and says 'Oooo, that's some van you got isn't it!'

[zmoosa1]

Originally Posted by sleepyone

Mildred looks impressed and says 'Oooo, that's some van you got isn't it!'

Nice one!

[sleepyone]

Sadly not my own work, my dad's been telling this one for at least 20 years

[Miyazaki]

How do you tell the difference between a weasel and a stoat?





It's weasily done because they are stotally different.

And....

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?




A carrot.


Well it did say worst joke ever and surely they are contenders?

[zmoosa1]

Why am I enjoying these more that the 'Best ever Jokes' thread??

Somebody get me a straightjacket!

[imightbewrong]

Originally Posted by Bill Hicks

Well someone had to get this thread started, so here goes......

THERE IT WAS............................................... ............................................

Is the joke that there's no joke?

[marty2005]

A Man chats a chick up in a bar.

"How about I take you back to your place for sex?", he says.

"No", she says, "I'm on my menstrual cycle"

"I'll meet ya there, I've got my Yamaha cycle parked outside", replies man.

[Miyazaki]

I told this one to the missus and I had to duck pretty quickly.

Why did God give women legs?

He's seen the mess snails and slugs make.

[SimonH]

Originally Posted by RockStrongo

Am I the only one who doesn't get this?

Well the thread is entitled "Worst Joke Ever", so I guess as it lacks any humour whatsoever other than the fact it lacks any humour, in an off kilter / surrealist way it is indeed the worst joke ever.