[la gran siete]

Following from Clarky's theatre of the absurd I decided to tend mine in
1) All private cars to be highly fuel efficient low emission and small- like a ford Fusion.
2) No more than two cars per family
3) all 4x4s to be banned from private use in urban areas
4) public transport to be heavily subsidised
5 ) more social housing with cheap rents
6)School lessons in how to be a good European. A euro flag to fly witha UK flag in every British city.
7)the euro to be our new currency
8) get rid of miles feet yard inches pounds etc . Decimalise everything
9) Bring on a Bristish footbal league and national team
10) welsh to be taught in all our schools because I say so
11)two hour lunch breaks and only 30 hr working week max.
12)Brat camps for all scrouts chavs and the like
13) Grown up brat camps for captains of industry, fats cats and the like
14) scarp the honours system, no more Sir or lord anything. Justy plain Mick Paul or Elton
15) Top rate of taxation of 60% for those on 100k upwards but raise the basic threshold to 10K thus taking loads out of tax altogether.
16 ) A bellyachers tax for those caught moaning about this country.
17)Liberalise our prison which should be centres of correction and run on humanitarian grounds
18) all university grads to be required to start at the bottom in every job situation scrubbing floors filing etc. this will teach them humility.
19) basic foodstuffs like fruit and veg to be subsidised to make them dirt cheap whilst unhealthy junk foods to be taxed

I know this will appeal to loads of right on lefties out there.

[la gran siete]

Like it?

[Daddy k]

i like a few, ie 13, 1, 5,


however why scrap 4x4's if they have to be fuel efficient and of a small size as per your other rules? 4x4 will simply make them have better traction for erm getting up a grass verge at side of the road, and higher up and less likely to have the alloys kerbed by the mrs

[la gran siete]

Originally Posted by Daddy k

i like a few, ie 13, 1, 5,


however why scrap 4x4's if they have to be fuel efficient and of a small size as per your other rules? 4x4 will simply make them have better traction for erm getting up a grass verge at side of the road, and higher up and less likely to have the alloys kerbed by the mrs

I did say in urban areas where they do not belong. They should not be seen as lifestyle vehicles but as workhorses like the LR Defender

[Ed Selley]

I can see the UK population suffering a sudden decline to about one in the event of this being implemented.

[Daddy k]

Originally Posted by la gran siete

I did say in urban areas where they do not belong. They should not be seen as lifestyle vehicles but as workhorses like the LR Defender

i shall bow my head in shame as im am on the look out for a honda HRV, however its not a big proper 4x4 rather a pretend, with 4x4 only coming in once traction is lost, and its a 1.6 avg 37-40 mpg and no longer than my current passat, can i drive it in your country?

[Daddy k]

Originally Posted by Ed Selley

I can see the UK population suffering a sudden decline to about one in the event of this being implemented.

yeah it was the learning welsh bit that got me packing too

[la gran siete]

Originally Posted by Daddy k

i shall bow my head in shame as im am on the look out for a honda HRV, however its not a big proper 4x4 rather a pretend, with 4x4 only coming in once traction is lost, and its a 1.6 avg 37-40 mpg and no longer than my current passat, can i drive it in your country?

You'll need special dispensation sir

[la gran siete]

Originally Posted by Daddy k

yeah it was the learning welsh bit that got me packing too

best part i thought. Placate the Welshies in here i wound up with the "is Wales part of England" thread

[mjn]

[Nimby]

Doesn't anybody remember his last manifesto?

What happened to his "My binding promise of compulsory topless barmaids within weeks"?

What happened to his "An end to lager as a suitable drink for grown men"?

What happened to his "I promise to cut down on my long posts on AVF"?

What happened to his" I pormoise ot git an swellling checker installereded"?

I rest my case.

[hufartd]

Originally Posted by la gran siete

11)two hour lunch breaks and only 30 hr working week max.

This, Sir is not France.
How do you propose to fund this !!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Daddy k]

by not paying for people who choose not to work rather than cant work!

and by not funding other countries

[johntheexpat]

Originally Posted by hufartd

This, Sir is not France.
How do you propose to fund this !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finance it the French way, through Europe. God (should he or she exist) bless the CAP!

[Nimby]

Originally Posted by johntheexpat

Finance it the French way, through Europe. God (should he or she exist) bless the CAP!

If France wasn't propped up by CAP we'd just have to double our overseas aid to them.

The money would still go to the rich but we're already well used to that in Africa and Asia. Well they do have to buy there luxuries abroad, don't they? So aid is more like an undeclared tax-break to European luxury car, clothing, jewellery and watch producers. Just like the good old days when we sent them tractors and harvesters but no spares, expertise or local fuel supplies. Keep it in the family, eh?

[The Dude]

1) Every private car to have a 'Dukes of Hazzard' horn.
2) Police cars to have 'The A-Team' sirens.


That's it, that's really all we need to change.

[sim667]

Not feeling you manifesto im afraid.... lots of things i disagree with

[Nimby]

Originally Posted by The Dude

1) Every private car to have a 'Dukes of Hazzard' horn.
2) Police cars to have 'The A-Team' sirens.

Now there's a bloke with his priorities properly screwed (on).

[Decadence]

I think it is a crap manifesto...it bears all the hallmarks of personal grievances, punishes people who are successful and who display creativity and enterprise for financial reward. Basically it seems like the manifesto of a bitter person.

[jerryfb]

It's a manifesto the Nazis would have been proud of. In fact they used many of those polices themselves. Congratulations.

[Ethics Gradient]

Originally Posted by Decadence

I think it is a crap manifesto...it bears all the hallmarks of personal grievances, punishes people who are successful and who display creativity and enterprise for financial reward. Basically it seems like the manifesto of a bitter person.

If you went to university you are an arrogant intellectualist and should wash my floors !

[Ethics Gradient]

I am not totally convinced that Wolfie Smith was a fictional character .... I am pretty sure he just got old, caught CJD and moved to the coast

[johntheexpat]

Originally Posted by Decadence

I think it is a crap manifesto...it bears all the hallmarks of personal grievances, punishes people who are successful and who display creativity and enterprise for financial reward. Basically it seems like the manifesto of a bitter person.

So, in the arena of UK politics, you think this manifesto has a really good chance of success then?

[The Dude]

Originally Posted by johntheexpat

So, in the arena of UK politics, you think this manifesto has a really good chance of success then?

I can't speak for Decadence and the others, but I'm personally convinced of it.


Just imagine......


Operator: "Hello, Emergency Services, which service do you require?"
JohnXPat: "I've got a problem, and no-one else can help!!"
Operator:"Please hold, I'll see if I can find them..... OK, they're on their way!"

(Sirens)
Durh D D Duuuhhhhh D Durh Duuuuuurhhhhhhh



If you were the crim, you'd be bricking it! It sure gets my vote.

[Squiffy]

My alternative manifesto.

1) Extra tax on those who have inappropriately large houses for their needs. e.g. a four bed terrace with three reception rooms
2) Extra tax on those who use energy inefficiently. If you pay more than £150 per month for your gas and electric, you may as well pay £300 to punish your profligacy.
3) Proper British History to be taught in schools, including the proud episodes in hour history when we stood up to aggressors such as the Nazis and the Argentinians
4) No more 'class revenge' taxes such as the assault on 4x4 owners
5) Grown up brat camps for all whingeing socialists who complain about those more successful than they are
6) All non-university graduates to be made to work the first three years of their careers at the bottom of their career path, to ensure they are then equal with those who choose to educate themselves before entering work.

[sim667]

Here's mine

1.) All those on Jobseekers to do two eight hour days community service work per week.

2.) All people learning to drive must ride a moped for at least a year before having lessons in a car.

3.) Legalisation of some narcotics in a controlled an quality assured manner

4.) 4X4's to be classed as commercial vehicles (and to have a system in which hobbyists can have them but they can only be driven X amount of miles on the road)(Also vehicles over 2 litres to be classed as commercial vehicles).

5.) Removal of law banning demonstrations around the houses of parliament, plus scrapping of proposed laws on licensing demonstrations and ID cards.

6.) Immigrants must learn english and must work for their food vouchers and housing

7.) Re-introduction of prison ships to alleviate prison over crowding.

8.) More funding for community and youth projects.

9.) MP's to record all expenses and to be audited every 6 months.

10.) Animal owners to pass a certification before they can legally buy an animal (mainly aimed at those wanting dogs and exotic pets).

11.) Overhaul of education system

12.) New builds legally required to have a source of renewable energy

13.) Lower prices on public transport, lower wages for public transport business senior management.

14.) 24 Hour drinking.

15.) Build more cycle lanes!

Im sure there'll be something someone disagrees with.

[city fan]

Originally Posted by Squiffy

My alternative manifesto.

1) Extra tax on those who have inappropriately large houses for their needs. e.g. a four bed terrace with three reception rooms
2) Extra tax on those who use energy inefficiently. If you pay more than £150 per month for your gas and electric, you may as well pay £300 to punish your profligacy.
3) Proper British History to be taught in schools, including the proud episodes in hour history when we stood up to aggressors such as the Nazis and the Argentinians
4) No more 'class revenge' taxes such as the assault on 4x4 owners
5) Grown up brat camps for all whingeing socialists who complain about those more successful than they are
6) All non-university graduates to be made to work the first three years of their careers at the bottom of their career path, to ensure they are then equal with those who choose to educate themselves before entering work.

Nice and appropriate reposte Squiffy

You forgot one-

7) Compulsory spelling and punctuation lessons, before being allowed to post on forums like this.

If I didn't know any better I would think it was just tongue in cheek and posted for a laugh. But he means it and that is sooo scary........

[The Dude]

Originally Posted by city fan

Nice and appropriate reposte Squiffy

You forgot one-

7) Compulsory spelling and punctuation lessons, before being allowed to post on forums like this.

If I didn't know any better I would think it was just tongue in cheek and posted for a laugh. But he means it and that is sooo scary........

Personally, I thought of it more as an unfortunate and unnecessary riposte.

There's no need to have a go at Squiffy's poor spelling and punctuation though, that's totally uncalled for in my opinion.

[city fan]

Originally Posted by The Dude

Personally, I thought of it more as an unfortunate and unnecessary riposte.

There's no need to have a go at Squiffy's poor spelling and punctuation though, that's totally uncalled for in my opinion.

Yeah, didn't think reposte looked right

I take it from the you got that it was pointed at LGS not sqiffy. Apologies if I should have got the sarcasm, just wasn't completely obvious

[mrtbag]

LGS, do you not think that number 16 in your list may put quite a large dent in your wallet?