Items won/bought collecting in person rant.

Ayub · 20-05-2007, 1:25 PM

Ok, say you bought an item online, and you went to collect it.

WHAT FACTORS do you take into consideration .Items such as beds, rugs, furniture, tables and chairs even clothing etc.

I ask this question for a reason. When I buy anything online I look at the feedback history of what they buy before I bid. When it comes to collection I look at the house they live in the person the way they speak to me and the item condition.

I have sold a fair few things on other forums/sites and I have noticed when people come to collect the goods they look at each other and I get a funny feeling they are "racing" me up. I am sure I’m wrong but I cannot help it.

I sold a £1000 dining table for £150 and when they came to collect the goods as soon as I opened the door to greet them they looked at each other in the " oh no, not them" kind of look.

I don’t want to start a thread which is intended on starting a race thread but am quite fustrated.

Can somebody please confirm this is not the case? and actually tell me if they have come across this?

Setenza · 20-05-2007, 2:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ayub

I get a funny feeling they are "racing" me up.

This has the potential to be a good topic to discuss. If it is to delve into people preconceptions and personal prejudices. However, just to make sure, can you please define a little clearer what you mean by the above comment.

Thanks

XoD

**Steven** · 20-05-2007, 2:53 PM

In the vein of finding out about people's preconceptions and prejudices, I would endeavour to buy new furniture. Even if I have to go cheap: new

Abbeygoo · 20-05-2007, 2:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ayub

I ask this question for a reason. When I buy anything online I look at the feedback history of what they buy before I bid. When it comes to collection I look at the house they live in the person the way they speak to me and the item condition.

I would make two points :

Firstly, if you go to collect something or even meet somebody to collect, then the only thing you should be concerned with is the item you have purchased i.e. the condition it is in etc.

Secondly, you state that you look at the house and the way the person speaks to you - are you not doing the same thing as you seem to think other people are doing to you?

I would say you are probably being a touch sensitive - if the item meets the advertised criteria and the cash is handed over then that is the end as far as I'm concerned, nothing else matters.

Accylad · 20-05-2007, 3:53 PM

If I go to collect an item I am already happy with the price, or I wouldn't have bought it.

So I am looking at just one thing - condition.

Nothing else is of any relevance to the sale.

Although a cup of tea before I set off for home is never refused

grey fox · 20-05-2007, 5:05 PM

Don't let it get to you.

When you go to meet someone for the first time, for whatever reason, you can't help but build up a mental picture of what that person may look like. It could well be that this was why they looked at each other when you opened the door.

Also remember that after you have taken their money or goods, you hopefully will never have to see them again.

dBrowne · 20-05-2007, 5:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Accylad

If I go to collect an item I am already happy with the price, or I wouldn't have bought it.

So I am looking at just one thing - condition.

Nothing else is of any relevance to the sale.

Although a cup of tea before I set off for home is never refused

I agree that nothing else should be of relevance, but I have on occasion been guilty of what ayub has experienced even if I have done my best to hide it. It has been not so much " oh no, not them" so much as suddenly feeling that I needed to stay alert.
When considering cash on collection, gut feelings about my personal safety may influence with whom I might consider proceeding.
It's nothing personal; I'm sure that if I were to open the door looking a little rough from the night before that there would be a few assessing micro-seconds before a potential purchaser figured out whether it was wise to cross the threshold with a wodge of cash in his pocket.

Reign-Mack · 20-05-2007, 8:23 PM

people usually put themselves under more pressure when they constantly dwell on things like this you will end up spending your whole life trying to convince people that your not a threat/racist/drug addict/tory/arsenal fan etc etc.
people tend to go by what they see and hear from past experience and if they dont often come accross yout type then news and media tends to fill the gaps...

Ayub · 21-05-2007, 6:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xusia Of Delos

This has the potential to be a good topic to discuss. If it is to delve into people preconceptions and personal prejudices. However, just to make sure, can you please define a little clearer what you mean by the above comment.

Thanks

XoD

XOD, when they look at you they are judgeing you by your colour. The look at you from head to toe and then concur with their partner or when they are alone would be very quiet for a second which would seem like an hour to me.

This is very hard to describe unless your have come across this. You can get this from both sides of the fence.

Ayub · 21-05-2007, 6:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Accylad

If I go to collect an item I am already happy with the price, or I wouldn't have bought it.

So I am looking at just one thing - condition.

Nothing else is of any relevance to the sale.

Although a cup of tea before I set off for home is never refused

I just realised if you to visit our house from 9am to 43pm you would get afghan "kawa" sweet green tea.
If you were to come after that time then its kebabs n mint sauce.
If you live more than 30 miles away you would get both, does not matter about time...

Ayub · 21-05-2007, 6:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by grey fox

Don't let it get to you.

When you go to meet someone for the first time, for whatever reason, you can't help but build up a mental picture of what that person may look like. It could well be that this was why they looked at each other when you opened the door.

Also remember that after you have taken their money or goods, you hopefully will never have to see them again.

a few people have said that. I think you have a good point.

Accylad · 21-05-2007, 6:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ayub

I just realised if you to visit our house from 9am to 43pm you would get afghan "kawa" sweet green tea.
If you were to come after that time then its kebabs n mint sauce.
If you live more than 30 miles away you would get both, does not matter about time...

Sounds good to me - I'll keep an eye on your sales

p.s. My wife wants to know if its OK if she comes with me to collect

dBrowne · 21-05-2007, 8:28 AM

Ayub,
I notice that you cite your location as Bradford. I've never been there, but from what I've gleaned from the media, it's a fairly segregated town with a(n) (un)fair amount of distrust between the communities. That might account for some of what you have experienced. Of course, if I were to hear that that is not the case from someone who actually lives there, I'd be more than happy to be disabused of that misconception.

Jenn · 21-05-2007, 8:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ayub

XOD, when they look at you they are judgeing you by your colour. The look at you from head to toe and then concur with their partner or when they are alone would be very quiet for a second which would seem like an hour to me.

People can be judgemental, that's no news and your colour may have nothing to do with it on some occasions and sometimes it will.

It's happened to me to meet someone new (of the same colour as me) and there's something about that person that looks different/funny/weird and without wanting to be mean I may have had an initial reaction.

No doubt there will be people who simply have a reaction because of your colour but should you be bothered? They're strangers and their reaction doesn't matter as long as they pay what they have to.

grey fox · 21-05-2007, 10:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ayub

a few people have said that. I think you have a good point.

Thanks Ayub.

One of the 'problems' that I have is that I am of a fairly large build, I have a couple of scars on my face and I also rarely smile. This has in the past caused some people to think twice before approaching me and I used to think that it was because they didn't like me. It was only when someone close to me pointed out that the above points will make some people think twice about approaching me. Even my ex used to say that some of her friends were wary of me.

dBrowne · 21-05-2007, 2:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by grey fox

Even my ex used to say that some of her friends were wary of me.

But now that you have adopted the PS3 gamertag of Mr_Nasty they find you much more approachable.

grey fox · 21-05-2007, 3:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dBrowne

But now that you have adopted the PS3 gamertag of Mr_Nasty they find you much more approachable.

I was wondering if someone would spot that. Mr_Nice was already taken

zmoosa1 · 21-05-2007, 3:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ayub

I just realised if you to visit our house from 9am to 43pm you would get afghan "kawa" sweet green tea.
If you were to come after that time then its kebabs n mint sauce.
If you live more than 30 miles away you would get both, does not matter about time...

Sounds very tatsy. I'll keep my eyes open for any future trades and make a point of coming to collect!!

Ayub · 21-05-2007, 4:58 PM

Anyone welcome anytime

:D:P

neilios · 21-05-2007, 7:31 PM

I wouldn't worry about it ,not every one is natural when meeting strangers ,especially when going round to someones house ,when i used to run my record shop from home i had all kinds of strange people coming round to the house to collect in person .
Its just human nature .