Holy Cow, Im going to be a Dad !!!

[hot-fuzz]

i have just found out that the missus is 5 weeks pregnant and to be honest im crapping myself.
This is my situation :

Im 29, 30 in December. The missus is 28, 29 in September.
We have been married 4 months !!!
We met each other just over 2 years ago.

Im am really excited about being a dad, but a few things are worrying me, and being only 5 weeks gone i cant tell any of my close mates just yet, in case we lose it. I am planning on telling the folks in a few days.

Basically i dont know if we can afford it. I know its a crap way of thinking, but read on and you may see why.

I work in a very secure job and after tax, alot of extras and a HUGE pension take £1500 home every 4 weeks (13 pay packets a year).
The missus is a Dr of Science, but gave that up and has just completed her first year of training to be a teacher on £12,000 a year.
She has just got a new job, due to start in September, which takes her pay up too £21,000 a year !! BUT, she cant take the job on due to being pregnant.
I am in the middle of a transfer to a different County so we can move near her parents/sisters, which was part of our original plan.
The missus will have to give up her job as in Sep she will be 4 - 5 months pregnant and get a job in the summer doing something. We have worked out that she will be out of work for 6 months minimum

We have now decided to move in with her sister who has an 8 month old herself, just until we can save enough money to buy a house in our new location.

We have about £700 a month debts due to uni, marriage, car loans, and so most of my money will go on that.

Am i stupid to worry about money, or shall i just be thinking that i am never really going to be able to afford a child, unless im rich, and just to get excited about it.

Thanks for reading.

[Miyazaki]

Get all the kip in now while you can! You won't have any for the next 18 years!

Seriously though, congratulations!

[QUOTE=Highlander1]i have just found out that the missus is 5 weeks pregnant and to be honest im crapping myself.
.

congratulations Mr Highlander (on the first bit)

the second bit mmm could i recomend ... a butt plug

[Johnny Thunder]

Congratulations mate.
Apart from cot, pram etc, kids are cheap at first. Wait til they grow up
and start asking for ipods, mobile phones, shotguns etc..........

[davisneil]

I have a 9 month old daughter and a wife and a flat near london to pay for along with food, council tax, utilities etc and we do it on my wage alone, which is 1600 a month after tax. My wife is a full time mum, and we still have spare money to save.

What i suggest financially is the following:

Make sure you are on the right tax code and claim any rebates due.

Do your homework and make sure you know what benefits you are entitled to, at the very least you should get Child Tax Credits and Child Benefit.

Go to www.uswitch.com and check out if you are paying the best deal on your utilities, phone, etc

Go to www.moneysavingexpert.com and check out other ways to minimise your spending (eg...instead of trips to cinema and buying dvds, we now 'sacrifice' this but subscribe to screenselect for our films, and there are loads of ways to save)

Buy in bulk (maybe from cash and carry) nappies! I bought for £18.00, 4 months worth of huggies!!! You may need to become a member, and some cash and carries require that you work for government, armed forces, etc to have an account, but check them out anyway. If any of you live near watford, and want to buy some stuff on my membership (costco have these rules) just pm me.

Buy clothes from ebay!!! Baby will outgrow them before you have time to fart, so theres no point buying lovely expensive pumpkin patch clothes for 5 minutes worth of wear. Same applies to things like toys, towels, and stuff. Exceptions are hygeinic stuff like cot, mattress (ALWAYS buy this new!) pacifiers, bottles, etc.

700.00 a month on debt is quite high! Is any of that minimum payments on cards?If your debts are out of control, contact your creditors and arrange repayment plans, or consult www.cccs.org.uk or CAB/payplan for help. If you think you may be close to your overdraft limit, open a basic account somewhere to avoid charges if something bounces...

Hope these tips are useful...its how we managed! Now were just saving for a house which is gonna be ages, but my baby's worth it!

[hot-fuzz]

i reckon we are going to be alright in a few years ..... you seen how much teachers can make? Her current Dept head of a medium performing county school earns £60K !!!!

As for cots and prams etc, her sisters have an 8 month old and a 6 month old, so clothes, cot, pram etc will be fine as we are gonna have a shed load of hand-me-downs (as long as it a boy)

I also work shifts, so working on nights is going to be hard when i cant sleep in the day, but at least i wont get woken up in the night when i am working !.

Childcare should be sorted aswell, as her parents are retiring soon and her sisters arent going back to work full-time, so we have free babysitters on tap, for when the missus goes back to work.

Im already looking into cool prams, dont like the 3-wheeled ones, plus you get less pram, but pay more !!!!

Originally Posted by davisneil

Make sure you are on the right tax code and claim any rebates due.

Do your homework and make sure you know what benefits you are entitled to, at the very least you should get Child Tax Credits and Child Benefit.

ta for the advice, will look into that.

Originally Posted by davisneil

Go to www.uswitch.com and check out if you are paying the best deal on your utilities, phone, etc

Go to www.moneysavingexpert.com and check out other ways to minimise your spending (eg...instead of trips to cinema and buying dvds, we now 'sacrifice' this but subscribe to screenselect for our films, and there are loads of ways to save)

I already use them ,and they are crakcing, really good stuff on them.

And as for Costco, we are always there for stuff we need now. I go to the Birmingham one, CHEERS for the offer of the card.

Originally Posted by davisneil

700.00 a month on debt is quite high!

Thats what 7 years getting a Doctorate in Medical Sciences (PHD), 4 years in getting a Software Engineering Degree, a nice car and a fantastic wedding gets you !!!
4 years, and it will all be gone.
maybe spreading them over a longer period would be an idea. Hmmm

[sdb123]

Congratulations.....

I'm 29 years old too but have a 4 year old daughter (5 in a couple of weeks time). I was in your position when I was 25....

To be honest, as long as you're sensible with the money side of things - you're worrying about nothing. Also, if we were all to wait until we could afford to have kids, it could be a long wait!

ATB,

Steve

[IronGiant]

Congratulations!!!!

You will survive the lack of money somehow, whatever lies ahead you will be a family so enjoy it, above all don't worry about it.

Dave

[davisneil]

well if its a girl i might be able to sell you some clothes!!!

[LFC_SL]

If you apply for Child Tax Credits, don't take no bull from HM Customs + Excise

It's only if your children are -16, but allowed up to 19 in in full time education...cue my parents arguing with them as they reckon they've overpaid and are chasing payment (couple of thou). Then my mum hits them with the fact I wasn't included in the payments in the first place, just my brothers (they reckon I'm not in full time education ). Not to mention the figures they're giving are v.suspicious

[hot-fuzz]

Originally Posted by sdb123

To be honest, as long as you're sensible with the money side of things - you're worrying about nothing. Also, if we were all to wait until we could afford to have kids, it could be a long wait!

That is the best thing i think anyone could have said.
Always thought it, but needed to hear it from somewhere else.




Being only 5 weeks gone, im think my excitement is going to crescendo over time, and come December i think we will have a definate idea of where we are going to be in the coming years.

Originally Posted by LFC_SL

If you apply for Child Tax Credits, don't take no bull from HM Customs + Excise

Ta matey.
I have heard of that, im sure there are a few benefits we can claim when starting off, but they rapidly disapear when you both start to work.

Congratulations.
like others have said, just keep an eye on the pennies.
Think of it another way you will be 48 + where hopefully they may consider uni/leaving home so realisticaly say 55 min before they do actually leave home.
Kids are GREAT, can be great moneyspinners but enjoy them while you can.

Bear in mind this comes from a grandad with 5 grandchildren aged 10 and under. PS i'm only 52.

[Lawrenzini]

Congratulations,

don't worry, if it all gets too much you can always put the kids in care and run away to Brazil... Your parents managed to raise you fine, and i am sure they had to do it on 5p a week before tax as mine say they did.

[gillette 73]

hey mate, fantastic news just think about all those poor peole that cant have children. When you plan to have a child it never happens..when you dont hey presto..if it is not one money problem now ..then it will be something different then.I am sure you will get lots of family support and help with the essentials, you will get child benefit...i am by no means rich and i have three little blighters..people pass down unused or unwanted things and as kids grow so quick some stuff is brand new...toys clothes buggies etc are easier to come by than you think. You will never experience the emotion that comes from watching your child enter the world in any other situation you may be in ..it is amazing...so enjoy every second...the first kick from the tummy.. the birth (forgive her if she squeezes your hand and calls you names) and their first word "dada"..their first smile at you.and the list goes on..you really are a lucky man and whats more your with the woman you love in a stable relationship...nuff said

good luck

[johnscarlet]

Originally Posted by lisa burrell

the second bit mmm could i recomend ... a butt plug

Immodium would probably be the safer , less embarassing solution . Lisa obviously has other ideas .

I wouldn't worry too much about the money , you will need to tighten the belts a bit , but its not too hard . I had the same thoughts with the first , then the second and when SWMBO said she wanted to go part time I had a heart attack . But we coped and now were back to spending just like we did pre-kids

Good luck , its well worth it

John