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I know none of the circumstances, but, not legally, but morally, either:
1. Write them a letter expressing your disgust at their insensitivity and ask them to request the money at a time in the future when it will not reduce your partner to tears.
2. Ask them if their implied suggestion of reinstating a restriction to disabled access to any premises shows foresight and good nature - ask what will happen if someone else requires a grant for access to the same premises and the access was not maintained or removed.
Either of these should keep them off your back for a while or make them realise it will cost more money than it is worth to argue the points you can make.
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