1.is that worth having the live? ?
It is for the HD traffic and the location search via google is very good - I pay £7 per month via dd.
The traffic I have found to be so accurate that I'm beginning to trust the reroutes.
2.what else did u update. did you have to go online to update stuff, like maps, software, firmware. would i need to buy one of those usb leads with it for downloads
Traffic and live service update over the inbuilt sim.
You need to hook it up to your pc or mac to update the software etc
All leads come in the box
3.

people say the inbuilt memory isn't to large. so worth getting a separate one?
No issue with memory for me - has all of europe to start with.
4. and did the updates fix the slow responce on the touch screen

anything else you would recomend to get with it ?
No, this is the only thing that gets me some times- it might be my fat saveloys but never the less i find it to lag every so often
You do not need anything else, although if it for the misses then you can get a matching bag for it
oh and I paid £229 for mine plus the monthly subs so this is a bargain